Jag älskar det jag gör!

Har haft en fantastiskt underbart härlig dag, som började med en CoachWalk med den klient som hängt med allra längst på min resa som coach. Att få börja dagen med att gå bredvid en individ som får insikt på insikt är stort.

Sen kom Pernilla Tillander för en snabb lunch innan vi satte oss i bilen på väg till Skurup där vi kör insatsen ”Ringar på vattnet – vi gör bättre när vi kan” för all förskolepersonal i kommunen, inom ramen för ESF-projektet ”Inkludera och mötas”, ett fantastiskt initiativ som Annhild Månsson roddar. Utifrån den insatsen har vi också fått till stånd en fördjupning för förskolechefer och enhetsutvecklare. Under eftermiddagen körde vi den andra av fyra workshops med detta något mindre gäng.

Och oj vad jag älskar, älskar, älskar det jag gör alltså! Att se människor kliva fram, steppa upp, dela med sig, våga blotta sig, ställa den där frågan som skaver, bjuda på sig själva och försöka, försöka igen, brista ut i asgarv åt hur tokigt det kan bli och sen köra tredje gången gillt och bara sätta det klockrent – det är en ynnest, och jag blir rörd till tårar, får gåshud med jämna mellanrum, skrattar så jag får magknip och njuter av att se människor växa.

Som bonus (och detta ”ska man inte egentligen avslöja, men det skiter jag i”) så växer jag själv! Jag får hjälp, insikter, utmanas och bekräftas och lär mig varje gång jag möter (på riktigt: möter!) människor på detta viset. Och så är det så himla roligt att arbeta ihop med Pernilla ska ni veta – detta är ett samarbete som ger mersmak och jag ser med pirr och glädje och stor dos nyfikenhet fram emot vad mer vi kommer hitta på tillsammans.

Bye bye 2015!

Sit down to write a few lines on the highlights of the year… and discover my mind is blank. Open my calendar and start to scroll, month by month, and wow. What a year. Again, Because aren’t they all like that really – amazing, jam-packed with experience and memorable?2015en

2015 has a lot to offer. Considering how much I travelled in 2014 I never thought 2015 would be yet another year filled with travels. All in all I actually think I travelled even more times than 2014, even though the duration was mostly shorter.

Creating the impossible
I started off the year with 90 days online-course with and by Michael Neill. Creating the impossible really made an impression on me, and the project I chose really gave me a lot of room for expansion.

#cleanse4expansion
This was my project for Creating the impossible. 90 + 90 days of daily cleanse, aiming to go through both my physical and digital home. Each thing in its place, and a place for each thing. You would not believe the amount of cleansing I did. I managed to work through almost every little bit of my house, I donated a lot of stuff, and it feels so good. It’s as nice to have done a significant inroads on my digital vistas, most notably my Evernote-account and my Dropbox.

#afkUmeå, Sweden
What would a year be without an #afkSkolvåren (i.e. School-spring)? Luckily, I didn’t have to discover this in 2015 either, and for that I am very happy. Do you know what it feels like to be a part of such an incredible movement that #skolvåren is?

Innate Health conference, England
What an experience. The realization that I won’t be attending more conferences like this, where the main part (or all?) is about intake, and very little is about taking active part and cocreating, was a large one. And yet. Listening to Dicken Bettinger, made the entire journey worth it. I was deeply touched, and reinforced in my hope for the future at that.

Mainland support Almedalen
After three years at Almedalen I chose to stay at home to be the mainland support for the #skolvåren gang on site. This was both very rewarding and tough. Not to be right smack in the middle of it all, very curious as to what’s happening, whom are they meeting, what possible connections and future collaborations are being born and so on. A lot of thought, and without a doubt it’s very less taxing for body and psyche to act as mainland support rather than being there on site. But the number of tweets certainly dwindled!

Center for Sustainable Change
Board member and chair of the Programming Committee is also something new for 2015. The Center for Sustainable Change, with strong roots in the US, is an organization in the midst of a transformation, and I’ve been given an opportunity to contribute with my thoughts, energy and wisdom. Let me tell you, there is a lot of learning opportunities here for me!

Human Potential Realization summit, The Netherlands
As a total opposite to the Innate Health conference, this was a fully co-creative experience. 2,5 days of intense energy and connection, connective harmonies and exploration. What a magnificent experience, and there is more to come!

Choir tour with a royal twist, England
The day after coming home forn the Human Potential Realization summit it was takeoff time to head off to England with the rest of my choir and our smashing choir master Jens. 4 days of fun and singing in an England on it’s best behavior (weather wise!). What a treat!

#theconf
A little over a year ago I bought two get-two-pay-for-one-tickets to #theconf, an odd sort of conference organized by Media Evolution i Malmö since quite a few years back. I gave away my extra ticket to Michael Sillion, who did a great job at summarizing Derek Sivers small gigs. DThese short snippets of mindbendingly well spoken thoughts were really great, and along with Suleiman Bakhit they were my main take-aways from #theconf, which is a conference I strongly recommend you attend.

#SethinLondon, England
This was high-impact. Talk about being wowed! A 5 hour Q&A-session with Seth Godin, in front of an audience of 400 people, including me and (yet again!) Michael Sillion. He was the best travel companion I could have to ensure that this very powerful experience won’t stay an experience as such, but will actually grow into something more permanent. The experience in itself was the inspiration for my advent calendar here on the blog this year.

#ULab
Sara Modig asked a handful of people if we wanted to join her for #ULab, a MOOC with and of Otto Scharmer, the father of Theory U. JI was all game, along with five others, and we set up our own coaching circle. Now what an experience that turned out to be. And such an amazing set up of people to experience this with. And it won’t end either, my coaching circle will run through the entire #ULab course once more, in slightly slower tempo, starting January. Read the summary in Huffington Post, written by Otto Scharmer, and definitely keep an eye out for future MOOCs!

KASAM – a feeling of connection
Thanks. My deepest thanks to you all, who surround me. Connections that Näve contributed to, a co-creation that enrich my life. For real. It’s not just something I state here, because it sounds a bit fancy. I truly mean it. These past few years have meant that I now am surrounded by a supporting circle of friends and family who play a large part in my personal development. No matter the life-force of a seed, if the soil isn’t just right for it, nothing good will come out of it anyway. And the soil I thread in is extremely life-affirming, let me tell you! It consists, amongst other things, of my MasterMind-gang, my life line, and the #skolvåren mobile office. Ledarlyftet, everyone at Being at full potential and many others. Newfound friends, such as Tess. Relationships that have grown deeper, such as with Dominic. And not to forget, Carla, my coach, mirroring me, and giving me wisdom and loving nudges along the way. My deepest heartfelt tanks to you all, both those specifically singled out here, and everyone else!

My family
In think and thin, in rain as well as sunshine, in the ordinaryness of life as well as on vacation and on travels – this year to LondonFranska Rivieran and Madrid, to name three. Love and care, irritation and quarrels. We encompass it all, together, and I love you! Add to that the joy of having gotten another two bonus-grandchildren during 2015, and you can understand what a rewarding life it’s been on a strictly private level as well.

HEROs very own day
Mmm. That’s what the calendar says, weekly, a full day, and have done, since the end of August. It doesn’t always turn into a full day. And I move it around when needs be. But it’s a significant change. I have started to put Myself as my top priority, and truly stand for it. To say No is an art Iäve been practicing a lot since I posted HEROs very own day as a regular activity in my calendar, and it’s been very instructive and worthwhile. I don’t know exactly what 2016 will bring for me, but HEROs very own day will most definitely be a piece of the puzzle that I will bring with me in to the upcoming year!

And what a year. Again. Because aren’t they all like that really – amazing, jam-packed with experience and totally memorable – all the years that pass?

Hej då 2015!

Sätter mig för att skriva några rader om årets höjdpunkter…. när hjärnan känns helt blank. Öppnar kalendern och börjar bläddra, månad för månad, och oj. Vilket år. Igen. För är de inte alla sådana egentligen – fantastiska, händelserika och minnesvärda – åren som går?2015sv2015 bjöd på mycket. Med tanke på hur mycket jag reste 2014 trodde jag aldrig att 2015 skulle bli ett år fyllt av resor. Det blev nog tom ännu fler resor än 2014, om än inte fullt så långa.

Creating the impossible
Året inleddes med 90 dagar online-kurs av och med Michael Neill. Creating the impossible gjorde verkligen ett avtryck på mig, och projektet jag valde gav utrymme för oerhört mycket expansion.

#cleanse4expansion
Detta var mitt creating the impossible-projekt. 90 + 90 dagar av dagligt röjande, i syfte att gå igenom både mitt fysiska såväl som mitt digitala hem. Var sak på sin plats och en plats för varje sak. Oj vad jag röjde. Nästan varenda liten bit av huset blev genomgången, mycket prylar bortskänkta och det känns oerhört skönt. Lika skönt att ha gjort stora insatser i mina digitala visten, mest anmärkningsvärt Evernote och Dropbox.

#afkUmeå, Sverige
Vad vore ett år utan en #afkSkolvåren? Som tur är behövde jag inte uppleva det under 2015 och det är jag glad för. Vet du hur det känns att vara en del av en så fantastisk företeelse som ansvarsrörelsen #skolvåren är?

Innate Health conference, England
Omtumlande upplevelse. Insikten att jag inte ska åka på fler konferenser av detta slag, där huvuddelen (eller allt) består av intryck, och väldigt lite delaktighet och samskapande, var väldigt stor. Men ändå, att få lyssna till Dicken Bettinger, det var värt allt. Blev så oerhört berörd, och stärkt i mitt hopp om framtiden.

Fastlandssupport Almedalen
Efter tre år i Almedalen valde jag att stanna hemma och agera fastlandssupport till #skolvåren:s gäng istället. Något som var både oerhört givande och väldigt tufft. Att inte befinna sig mitt i smeten, nyfiket undrande hur det går, vad händer, vem träffar dem, vilka kontakter och blivande samarbeten föds osv osv osv. Många tankar blev det och onekligen tär det mindre på kropp och psyke att vara fastlandssupport kontra att befinna sig på plats. Men väsentligt mycket färre tweets blir det dessutom.

Center for Sustainable Change
Styrelsemedlem och ordförande i Programming Committee har jag också blivit under 2015. En organisation med rötter i USA som är mitt uppe i en transformation, där jag har fått chansen att bidra med mina tankar, min energi och min visdom. Snacka om lärorikt!

Human Potential Realization summit, Nederländerna
Som en total motsats till Innate Health conference, så var detta en fullkomligt samskapad upplevelse. 2,5 dagar av intensiv energy och samhörighet, sammanflätade harmonier och utforskande. Vilken fantastisk upplevelse, och det kommer mera!

Körturné med kunglig glans, England
Dagen efter hemkomst från Human Potential Realization summit var det avfärd till England tillsammans med resten av min kör och vår underbare körledare Jens. 4 dagar av hygge och sång i ett ljuvligt höstvarmt England. Vilken ynnest!

#theconf
För ett drygt år sedan köpte jag gå-två-betala-för-en-biljett till #theconf, en annorlunda konferens anordnad av Media Evolution i Malmö sedan ett antal år tillbaka. Gav bort min extrabiljett till Michael Sillion, som summerat Derek Sivers små uppträden. Dessa korta tankespjärn var enormt berikande, och tillsammans med Suleiman Bakhit var de min största behållning från #theconf, som jag definitivt rekommenderar att du går på.

#SethinLondon, England
Detta var high-impact. Snacka om wowad! En 5 timmars Q&A-session med Seth Godin, för en publik om 400 personer, inklusive mig och (även här!) Michael Sillion. Bästa ressällskapet för att säkra att denna oerhört starka upplevelse inte heller stannar vid en upplevelse, utan faktiskt blir något som gör bestående intryck. Upplevelsen i sig inspirerade mig till årets julkalender.

#ULab
Sara Modig kastade ut en fråga till en handfull människor om vi ville haka på henne på #ULab, en MOOC med och av Otto Scharmer, fadern till Theory U. Jag hakade på, tillsammans med totalt sex andra, och vi utgör en egen liten coaching-cirkel. Vilken upplevelse. Och vilket fantastiskt gäng att uppleva detta tillsammans med. Och inte tar det slut här heller, vår coachingcirkel ska gå igenom hela #ULab-kursen tillsammans en gång till, i lite långsammare tempo, med start i januari. Läs summeringen i Huffington Post, skriven av Otto Scharmer, och håll definitivt koll på kommande MOOC:ar!

KASAM
Tack. Mitt djupaste tack till er alla, som finns i min omgivning. Sammanhang jag bidragit till att skapa, ett samskapande som berikar mitt liv. På riktigt. Inte bara något jag säger, för att det låter tjusigt. Jag menar det verkligen. De senaste åren har medfört att jag nu har en stödjande omgivning som är en stor del i min egen utveckling. Ett frö kan vara nog så livskraftigt, om jordmånen är undermålig blir det inget bra av det ändå, och min jordmån är helt fantastiskt livgivande ska du veta! Jordmånen består bland annat av MasterMind-gänget, min livlina, och #skolvårens mobile office. Ledarlyftet, Being at full potential-gänget och många fler. Nyvunna vänner, som Tess. Fördjupade relationer, som Dominic. Och inte minst Carla, min coach, som speglar mig, och ger mig vishet och kärleksfull pepp och puff på vägen. Ett hjärtinnerligt tack till er alla, nämnda som onämnda!

Min familj
I ur och skur, i vardag såväl som på semester och under resor – i år bland annat London, Franska Rivieran och Madrid. Kärlek och omsorg, irritation och bråk. Allt omfamnar vi, tillsammans, och jag älskar er! Lägg till det ynnesten att ha berikats med ytterligare två bonus-barnbarn under året, så förstår ni vilket underbart år det varit på det privata planet.

HEROs very own day
Mmm. Så står det i kalendern, varje vecka, en hel dag, och har så gjort sedan slutet av augusti. Det blir inte alltid en full dag. Och dagen kan flyttas vid behov. Men det är en signifikant förändring. Jag har börjat prioritera Mig, och verkligen stå för det. Att säga Nej är en konst jag har fått chans att öva tack vare HEROs very own day, och det har varit oerhört lärorikt. Vet inte exakt vad 2016 kommer att medföra, men detta är en av sakerna jag definitivt ska ta med mig in i det kommande året!

Som sagt. Vilket år. Igen. För är de inte alla sådana egentligen – fantastiska, händelserika och minnesvärda – alla dessa år som går?

An epidemic of harshness

I used to have an inner dialogue akin to a mix of Hitler/Mao/Stalin, or that’s how I remember it, anyway. I don’t anymore. The voices of dictators inside myself, is a thing of the past. I can’t pinpoint an exact time when they stopped, but gradually, over these past 10 years or so, their once overpowering and loud voices got more quiet, less frequent, and nowadays, I basically don’t hear them, at all.

I know the moment where I realized I didn’t have to believe them, didn’t have to act out their orders. It’s probably 9 years ago, by now. Coming for a session with my therapist, I didn’t have cash with me, to pay for the session. I berated myself, prostrated myself, viciously whipped myself with verbal lashes. So ashamed of myself, stuck in the feeling that I was disrespectful to my therapist. She looked at me, astonished at what she saw. Asked ”Why are you so hard on yourself?” and I gasped ”You don’t have to be?”. ”No”, she said, continuing, ”I would have just said ‘I didn’t bring cash today, I’ll bring it next time”.

Flabbergasted, my only respons was ”You can do that? You don’t have to whip yourself into submission for failing to live up to your own standards?”.

That was a pivotal moment in me, discovering myself.

Since then, I’ve come such a long way that the dictators rarely, if ever, let their voice reverberate within my head.

I quite often recount this story with coach clients, because I’ve found most people recognize this. All but one client, actually. And I’ve had coaching conversation with hundreds of people by now.

All.

But.

One.

Of those I’ve brought this up with, recognize this in themselves. harshnessThat has led to me to the conclusion that there is a raging epidemic, spread across the globe, across the human population. At least within the Western hemisphere. An epidemic of inner harshness. A harshness that makes us behave internally in a manner we would never want to expose another living being to.

And the problem with this epidemic is that it’s all but invisible. Because when I see someone that I really admire, I compare my inside (my inner climate) with someone else’s outside. Having no clue. Absolutely none, as to what that person’s inner dialogue sounds like. He/She might look like he/she has it all together, on the outside – but what goes on within?

DAY 4 #NAJOWRIMOPROMPT: Create personal door signs

For today’s prompt, write and/or draw three signs that you would hang on your home door, work door, or even your forehead to let others know what you allow and don’t allow in your life. For example, a sign might be, “No Gossiping” or “Please Knock First.”

Now write about your signs and how you will enforce them, or how you already enforce them. Are there ways you can communicate your signs without actually posting them? Or should one or more of them be physically posted?

stay out door signs

I am taking part of the MITx #ULab MOOC and one of the things that has really struck a cord in me have been the voices of judgement, cynicism and fear, that Theory U talk about as detrimental to deep listening. Listening to these voices are effective road blocks hindering you from being able to drop down into presencing.

So how to enforce them? Do I need to print these out, laminate them and post them around the house? Well. That might not be a bad idea actually… But is it a necessity? Well no. Not really. I am lucky that I have created a setting whereupon I am around people who remind me of when I do listen to, or talk from a place of judgement, cynicism or fear. My coach Carla does a great job, constantly reigning me in to self-compassion and other-compassion, for instance. Friends in my MasterMind-group and in #skolvåren hold a space where I can voice thoughts stemming from these emotions without being condemned, while gently reminding me of my why, and how I want to show up in the world. Having that ”safe space” where I can rage against the world and perceived injustices is a great outlet of frustration, and getting it out of my system makes it easier to get back on track faster.

I am a great help myself in keeping the voices of judgement, cynicism and fear out, as I have gotten so used to observing myself. So I am better at noticing when I am judging, being cynical (which probably is the one of these emotions that pop up the least for me) or acting out of fear. That opens up for asking myself whether or not it’s in service to me to continue to entertain these thoughts or if I should show them the way to the door.

What really make a difference though is to tune in to the energies of people I am in conversation with. Where are they coming from? Is it the voice of judgement, cynicism and fear speaking, or are they speaking from an open mind, open heart and open will? If it is, and I can spot it, it’s much easier for me to refrain from stepping into judgement myself. Rather, empathy is invoked in me, because I know full well what it’s like to come from the place of judgement/cynicism/fear. Sometimes, the conversation can take a sudden turn to something deeper when I drop down to a deeper place of listening. Sometimes. Not so. And I’ve learned, the hard way, to step out of that type of interaction if there is no shift in energy or awareness. There is neither giving nor receiving in those instances, and hence, I bow out. Politely if I can, silently at times, and hopefully, very seldom with a tiny jab in the back. Because that’s not who I want to be in the world. 

What about you? What would your three door signs look like?

8 years of adventure

logga respondi in color jpgEight years ago, on Monday October 1st of 2007, was the first day of being self-employed. The first day of operating under the name of Respondi AB, not supported in any way by a boss, an employer, colleagues.

My sense of right-doings had stopped me from actually contacting potential customers to ensure I had an assignment starting October 1st, until I had officially quit my previous employment. I did have a lunch date set up with one though, on this very first day, and I left that meeting with a one-month assignment. That turned into a three year full time gig, in one of the most challenging projects I’ve ever worked with (the building of a greenfield API facility outside Mumbai, India, for those of you who understands that life science-mumbo jumbo).

At the end of that gig, working fewer and fewer hours/week for my client, as the need for me became smaller and smaller (the very best of assignments, in my view, where I slowly make myself unnecessary, as the organization itself get’s to be self-sufficient, constructing and setting in place the structures and routines necessary to function in a good way), I made a decision to train as a coach. And since then, well, life hasn’t been the same. In the very best sense possible!

That also meant I no longer wanted to find long-term full-time assignments, such as the above-mentioned gig, but rather have shorter assignments of a different type. I still have a few ties to the Life Science-industry, but less and less, and I am slowly transitioning out of that business, fully.

That in itself is an interesting journey, it’s like I am actively decommissioning myself from Life Science. It’s like starting a new job, and going through the first time of doing everything, except turned upside down. I’m doing stuff for the last time (at least, that’s my sensation), and am aware of it, which gives it a bit of a bittersweet flavor. It’s my choice though, and I know it’s the right one for me. Now I just have to learn to say No when asked to hang on a bit longer in the industry…. and that might well be my toughest challenge here. Have you got any experience with this process of slowly retracting from a specific industry/business to share with me?

On compassion

compassion

Continuing my collaboration with Sus and her marvelous ladies, prompted by a query from my coach on yesterday’s doodle on judgement. She read what I’d written and added: …and practice self-compassion for our sweet, humble humanity when we notice we have ”fallen into judgment” yet again….

She continued with wondering what my compassion sketch would look like, and that thought crept into my conscious mind during this morning’s meditation. So I brought out my IPad, Paper and Pen, and started doodling. A few botched attempts, and then I sent the text above out into MIX. Send a note to Sus asking if she was up for another collaboration. She said she’d gladly give it a go, and immediately got it right, with little Miss Balancing-Act above.

That’s what it can feel like for me, balancing in life. Putting one feet out in front of me, not knowing if I’ll wobble and fall, or stand steady, ready for the next foot to move ahead. But the real balancing act is about meeting both situations (the wobbly as well as the steady journey ahead) with compassion, for me, and for everyone else.

Realizing how I’m not the only one stumbling through life – occasionally falling down, sometimes in a flow – but this goes for everyone. We are all balancing our way through life. All of us.

Now, there’s a thought to sit with…