DAY 4 #NAJOWRIMOPROMPT: Create personal door signs

For today’s prompt, write and/or draw three signs that you would hang on your home door, work door, or even your forehead to let others know what you allow and don’t allow in your life. For example, a sign might be, “No Gossiping” or “Please Knock First.”

Now write about your signs and how you will enforce them, or how you already enforce them. Are there ways you can communicate your signs without actually posting them? Or should one or more of them be physically posted?

stay out door signs

I am taking part of the MITx #ULab MOOC and one of the things that has really struck a cord in me have been the voices of judgement, cynicism and fear, that Theory U talk about as detrimental to deep listening. Listening to these voices are effective road blocks hindering you from being able to drop down into presencing.

So how to enforce them? Do I need to print these out, laminate them and post them around the house? Well. That might not be a bad idea actually… But is it a necessity? Well no. Not really. I am lucky that I have created a setting whereupon I am around people who remind me of when I do listen to, or talk from a place of judgement, cynicism or fear. My coach Carla does a great job, constantly reigning me in to self-compassion and other-compassion, for instance. Friends in my MasterMind-group and in #skolvåren hold a space where I can voice thoughts stemming from these emotions without being condemned, while gently reminding me of my why, and how I want to show up in the world. Having that ”safe space” where I can rage against the world and perceived injustices is a great outlet of frustration, and getting it out of my system makes it easier to get back on track faster.

I am a great help myself in keeping the voices of judgement, cynicism and fear out, as I have gotten so used to observing myself. So I am better at noticing when I am judging, being cynical (which probably is the one of these emotions that pop up the least for me) or acting out of fear. That opens up for asking myself whether or not it’s in service to me to continue to entertain these thoughts or if I should show them the way to the door.

What really make a difference though is to tune in to the energies of people I am in conversation with. Where are they coming from? Is it the voice of judgement, cynicism and fear speaking, or are they speaking from an open mind, open heart and open will? If it is, and I can spot it, it’s much easier for me to refrain from stepping into judgement myself. Rather, empathy is invoked in me, because I know full well what it’s like to come from the place of judgement/cynicism/fear. Sometimes, the conversation can take a sudden turn to something deeper when I drop down to a deeper place of listening. Sometimes. Not so. And I’ve learned, the hard way, to step out of that type of interaction if there is no shift in energy or awareness. There is neither giving nor receiving in those instances, and hence, I bow out. Politely if I can, silently at times, and hopefully, very seldom with a tiny jab in the back. Because that’s not who I want to be in the world. 

What about you? What would your three door signs look like?

On judgement

judgement

My friend Sus found this Paper-doodle by me in MIX the other day (FiftyThree, check it out!) and pimped it with a toe-tapping highly judgmental Miss Know-It-All. She sent it to me and I was rejoiced! What a great reminder. Because that’s just how I feel at the moment. I fall into judgement daily, especially when checking my Twitter-feed. And then I judge myself for judging and not being compassionate…. A vicious cycle as you can understand. So I’ve decided to skip checking in on Twitter for the rest of the summer, adding this restraint onto my summer social media challenge.

Avoidance? Yeah. Spot on. But why not? I mean, I don’t enjoy a lot of what I read on Twitter at the moment, I don’t enjoy my reactions to it, and I end up feeling miserable, cursing some people, and feeling sorry for others. So why go after that feeling?

Nah, I’d rather spend my time on activities that I enjoy and take pleasure in. Like picking cherries, cooking cherry jam, gooseberry jam and marmalade and picking Bishop’s Weed for tomorrow’s lunch pie, all of which I’ve done today. Good trade-off wouldn’t you agree?

Oh captain, my captain!

Woke up, checked Twitter and saw a tweet about the death of Robin Williams. Hoped I had misunderstood so I googled but unfortunately, it was not a bizarre joke, but fact.

In honour of this great actor, we’re gathered in the living room in front of Dead Poet Society. Have only watched the first part, but already a favourite line of mine has been spoken:

In my class you will learn to think for yourselves!

Robin Williams was an amazing actor, and several of his movies have touched me deeply in several ways. I remember watching DPS when it was released, and as so many millions of others, loving it. The amazing actor was the part of Robin Williams that I witnessed, but as with each and every one of us, there was more to him, just as there is to us all. We all hold both light and darkness within us.

When life is shining brightly within me, the darkness seems so far away, but really, those two states of mind are just a thought away, aren’t they? And they are neutral, in their origin…. but we make it not be so, unfortunately. We judge the light to be good, something to strive for, a token of success and happiness. The darkness is bad, unworthy of us, a failure. Something to hide, shy away from, avoid at all cost.

At all costs…. and sometimes at too high a price.

Why must it be so? Why do we judge light and darkness thus? What would it take for me, for you, for us, for society, to hold it all, with no – or at least less – judgement? Would that make a difference? Would we then be able to face both light and darkness with less fear? Because both those parts scares us, do they not?

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Oh captain, my captain, may you rest in peace.

Be curious

Monday morning. Lying in bed, waking early due to a stuffed nose. Flicking through the photos in my IPhone I come across this quote:

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It speaks to me and I make up my mind to act on this the coming week. I’ll be curious, but will do my best to leave out all shades of judgement. Because after all, who am I to judge? Who are you?

Will you join me?