Etikettarkiv: love

Podcast 9/52 – Love and Sex and Attachment

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Svara

Today marks the start of the blog challenge #Blogg100 in Sweden, and just as the last two years, I’ve decided to play. However, I have no real plan for doing anything other than what I normally do, which is blog daily…. but, who knows, I might think of something special as I go along.

However, today is Sunday, and it’s time for my ninth podcast tip, and I’m opting for an episode from On Being with anthropologist Helen Fisher, called Love and sex and attachment. I listened to the episode earlier this week, and just like a few other podcasts, immediately re-listened once finished. Today as I found the link for the episode I see Helen Fishers photo, and was a bit surprised. Her voice doesn’t sound like she looks. Have you ever experienced that? Anyway, that’s a side note.

Love, sex, attachment. I mean – you can’t really go wrong there, can you? It’s something we are all interested in and affected by. And that’s actually the reason why Helen got into this area of scientific enquiry in the first place, because she was so interested in that which ties us together, that which we all have a relationship to, the similarities between people, rather than that which separates us.

BoldomaticPost_relationships-evolve-and-a-goOne of the take away’s for me from this podcast is the ever-changing nature of relationships, and that it’s actually a sign of a good relationship, that it is constantly changing, growing, evolving. And you know why? Because life in itself is constantly changing – nothing is permanent. We have somehow gotten tricked into believing it is, or should be, but in reality, life is dependent on change, changing thoughts, changing needs, changing mental states, changing relationships. So how could we ever believe that any one person, or any one relationship, could be permanent? Is it a need for safety and security that have warped somehow? Perhaps due to the loss of the local community, that Krista Tippitt and Helen Fisher also touch on in the show?

 

A speedy way to peace on earth

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My Supercoach Academy-colleague, the wonderful Susan Parisi, wrote this on Facebook:

eyegazingNow, if you’re anything like me, this makes you very intrigued, because that’s what happened to me. So I clicked on the link that Susan shared, and got this:

Watched.

The love, the wonder, the curiosity, the intimacy and connection between these couples comes through the screen and hits me hard. Amazing. Powerful.

Finished watching. And realized: Susan is right. This should really be a prerequisite before attempting to solve any disagreement of any sort. You think I’ll remember this when next I end up in a disagreement?

And you know what more? I have an urge to sit my husband down for four minutes of eye gazing. Who do you want to invite for some eye gazing?

 

All I need…

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Svara

Tired after a long day, getting up earlier than in a long long time, and not really sleeping that much either all night because I knew I had to get up early. I’ve been away teaching all day, and when I got home, I had some information that really didn’t sit very well with me. So I realized that what I want right now is a little bit of love, and hence, I’ll share this with you, hoping there might be a few who, like me, need to play around in the feeling of love at the moment.

AllYouNeedIsLove

It sure does go a long way, that love-thing, doesn’t it?

Listen for the unknown #1

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It’s Christmas Day and the advent calendar (in Swedish) here on the blog is over, after 24 words and my reflections on said word. It’s been a great series for me to do and something similar might well pop up again.

But now I’d like to do a series of posts up until New Years, linking to podcasts that I’ve listened to, and found intriguing, fascinating, thought-provoking, hilarious, or just absolutely amazing. I will not write a whole lot about them, but rather, I invite you to do what I’ve tried to do: listen for the unknown. That which doesn’t verify old beliefs, but rather opens up for something new, a thought previously unthought, a connection previously unmade. Listen for that which you do not already know. Ok?

The first podcast is from RSA and is entitled Love, Death, Self and Soul.
Love, Death, Self and SoulWhat do you hear that you’ve never heard before?

Giving away control?

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Svara

Alan Watts speaks about organic leadership with his slightly hypnotic voice, and I freeze. Pause. Listen very intently. Play the clip over and over again, at least four times in a row. Hear new things everytime, am moved by what I hear.

In giving away the control, you’ve got it!

That’s a sentence that rings very true to me today, but just two, three years ago, it would have terrified me. I desperately needed,or thought I needed, to have the type of control Alan refers to here, the one lording over everyone else, fighting hard to get things done my way, not believing anyone else was as capable as me so I’d really better just do it myself from the get go etc.

And now…. who’s to say my way is the best way? Well. I was. Back then. Not so much anymore. Back then I wasn’t great at trusting others, but today, I’ve come to know – fully, in the deepest part of me, soul and all – that the act of trust that Alan speaks about is the way of love and acceptance.

In giving away the control, you’ve got it.

That sentence doesn’t terrify me at all now. How about you? Is there anything you *believe you* have control over that you could not relinquish?

Love or hate?

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Svara

Watched a brilliant TED Talk during lunch:

Very interesting to hear Jeremy Heiman talk about the difference between old and new power, as well as old and new values. I resonate with the new power and the new values, and there is a lot of recognition there, from my experiences in social media during these past years.

As today is #NoHateSe-day in Sweden, I cannot help but make a connection to what Jeremy also speaks about, which is his point that new power by no means equals positive power. That depends on the values we come from, which in turn is dependent upon a choice we have to make, each and every one of us. Because both you and I have a choice in how we show up in the world.

#NoHateSe

Do you want to come from a point of hate, or a point of love? For me the choice is easy. I try to come from love, in all I do. And that might sound really hippyish and spaced out, but you know what I’ve noticed? The biggest difference is in me. When I come from a place of love, my life is better. Heck, it’s heaps better! Even when life sucks, and I’m in a bad mood, it’s still loads better, than when I came from a more negative and hateful place.

What’s your choice, love or hate?

Au revoir!

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Have two friends, very dear to my heart, that are embarking upon a grand adventure on November 7th. Or rather, about a year ago or so, they actually set the ball rolling, that has led to the point of them selling their house, packing up all their stuff, to head south in not even two weeks time.

Wivan

Last night they had an Au revoir-get together for friends and neighbors at a really cosy restaurant in Malmö, and I went of course. To hug, get a bit teary eyed, hug some more, have dinner, talk to interesting people – old and new acquiantances – and get to say Au revoir to Wivan and Anders.

My life is enriched thanks to their courage to explore space – both inner and outer – and to share their discoveries with me, and us all, for instance through their blog LIVE FULLY TODAY.

Wivan and Anders, know that I love and honor you, and bless the day our paths crossed!

Witnessing the inner and outer journey of these two truly extra ordinary souls, is an inspiration. And it makes me wonder what is possible in my life, that today seems totally impossible. I’m curious to find out! Are you?

Holding a space of love

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Being held in a space of love is for me a great place to be coached from. But being held in this way is something that I’ve experienced in many different settings.

My MasterMind-group is a great example of this, and I think that is part of the success that group is/has. Being held in a space of love means that I can be me, full out, without feeling like I have to guard my human experience. I can just be, and tell my MasterMinders where I am at. Full stop. Daring to say what I am experiencing in the moment, is a liberating sensation, and not one that I’ve been used to experiencing. At least not this unrestricted, unfiltered and vulnerable. I’ve always been one for laughing when that urge sets in, but crying, or acknowledging my feelings of shame, guilt, embarassment and such, not so much. Letting those feelings shine through somehow meant that I was bad, corrupt, broken. Or so I thought. And that was a thought I believed to be true.

My beloved friends in back office of #skolvåren are another example of this. That’s also a group where I can just be me. And it’s such a wonderful sensation, let me tell you.

And yes, I feel this, sometimes, within my family. Not always. It’s as if the close relationships sometimes makes it harder, because there are so many expectations between all involved. Or is this just my perception of it?

There is the child. As is. And then there is my image of what that child should be, could be. As he/she is not. When I believe in the imaginary image that I am holding my child up against, constantly measuring, checking, judging to see whether or not my child ”fits the part”, I am NOT holding my child in a space of love. Rather the opposite.

There is the spouse. As is. And then there is my image of what that spouse should be, could be. As he/she is not. When I believe in the imaginary image that I am holding my spouse up against, constantly measuring, checking, judging to see whether or not my spouse ”fits the part”, I am NOT holding my spouse in a space of love. Rather the opposite.

And go figure, the more of this I practice, the more of this I get in return. So if I want to be held in a space of love, what better way than holding that space of love myself?

Holding a space of love

Because I can drop the imaginary images, I can shed them, and just be with what is. Be with my child. Be with my spouse. Just be and hold them, from a space of pure love. Because the love is there. That has never been the issue. But it’s been clouded, which has made it harder for said child or spouse to feel held in a space of love. Because love hasn’t been all they have been held within. And that has been the case. Except occationally, when all there has been has been that timeless and unconditional love, undiluted.

Now, this past year, as I’ve been shedding more and more of the layers I’ve been ensconsed within, layers that are no longer serving me, blocking the light within me to shine through, I have also dropped my attachment (most of it? all? is it possible to drop it all? it honestly feels like that most of the time) to the imaginary images, and I am with what is. And that kicks all of my relationships up into a different ball game. And you know what, I’m really curious as to what will unfold from this place and space.

I’m doing more and more holding from a space of love, and it has a calm and peaceful sensation to it. It’s like an exhalation after holding my breath for a while. Holding my breath requires a lot of tension. And the relief when I exhale is palpable. That’s how I feel when I hold a space of love. And I love that. So if I want to be held in a space of love, what better way is there than holding a space of love?

Held in a space of love

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Being held in a space of love, that beats most things I’ve experienced. That’s what a great coach (for me) will do. And that’s what I experience at Supercoach Academy as well. space of loveBeing held in a space of love opens up for discovery of things within that I didn’t know were there to find. It opens for grabbing onto a story of mine, shining some light on it, and watching it dissolve into nothingness, because that’s what stories are. They really are nothing, but for the fact that we place meaning onto them. They are a thought, that we believe to be real, and that’s why they seem ream. But they are a thought, and it’s only when I ”have something on that thought” that it seems real to me.

During the last weekend with SCA2014, I was listening to a chat between Michael Neill and George Pransky, when George said something to the effect of:
It’s the meaning you put on ”it”, that is causing your distress.

(”It” being whatever it is you put meaning to, whatever it is you are dicussing, bringing up, getting stuck on.)

I can see this in my life, nowadays. I can see myself when I am in distress, and know where that feeling comes from. It doesn’t mean I don’t experience distress anymore. Not at all! That happens, all the time, because it’s part of the human experience on earth. It happens to us all. Period. But I know where my distress is coming from, and knowing that makes it seem slightly less real for me. It makes me not take that distress as Fact, as something that Must be. It makes me see the distress as a feeling I am experiencing, because I have a thought of some sort. And I feel the feeling. That’s a given. But I no longer believe that feeling to be a Must. It’s not a feeling that is inevitable. It’s not a feeling which is the only true response given the situation. It’s A feeling. Not THE feeling.

And when I am held in a space of love, I can begin to question my beliefs, question the stories I’m telling myself to be real. And that process is a miraculous journey, that free’s me up, expands me, makes it possible to let go of restrictions that don’t serve me (anymore), and mostly, for me, it means my energy is not wasted on conserving the stories of my life. The energy can be used for much greater thing. I don’t have to waste energy trying to maintain a status quo that is a construct of my thinking, instead the energy can be used, in the moment, for whatever want’s to show up, whatever wants to happen.

Have you ever been held in a space of love?

Join me at the rooftop?

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A few days ago my friend Wivan posted a link to a song on Facebook, and I started to listen to it, but my connection was shaky and I couldn’t really hear it. But I sensed I’d really like it, so I sent the link to myself.

And today I watched it, started to dance while seated, found more songs by the same band and fell head over heels in love with Postmodern Jukebox. Amazing! Their cover versions are just sensational. 

So far I’ve only heard about five songs, and this one is breathtakingly beautiful:

I had a great day already, but I tell you, this just sent my day spinning into overdrive. I absolutely love living life in the moment, because then I get to feel what I feel in the moment 100%, fully, vibrantly, totally immersed. And right now I’m immersed in some seriously magnificent music! I love life, absolutely love it, and want to shout it from the rooftops. I’m happy, I’m alive, and life IS! Wanna join me at the rooftop?