Mind-made monsters

Here’s another recent thing I stumbled upon, which gives even more support to the exclamation that a change in expectation can make blind people see:

It’s about Sargy Mann, a painter, blind since 25 years. After going completely blind, he once more tried his hand at painting, and experienced the same as that which the Invisibilia-podcast on How to become batman also talks about: that the blind can see. Here’s Sargy Mann’s experience in his own words, which you can also hear yourself in the YouTube-clip:

BoldomaticPost_So-I-brush-aquamarine-up-ther

The way the mind and our thoughts shape our world, never ceases to amaze me. And it’s not about believing I can or not. (Even though that certainly can help or hinder my progress.) It’s about testing. It’s about picking up that paint brush filled with aquamarine, it’s about exploring the world which is there regardless if I see it or not (consider totally blind Daniel Kish riding a bicycle, a good example that blows my mind when I think about it!).

Is it perhaps about understanding, that whether I believe it or not, that’s thought and not truth, and there is only one way to find out: by doing.

Not having mind-made monsters limit me, living my life, for fear of something or other.
Not having to fight those mind-made monsters either, because then I create a battle ground in my mind, and try to get ready to fight. But – what I forget then is this simple fact: If the monsters are mind-made, then the fight is as well. It’s all make-believe.

Understanding this means that my relationship with my mind-made monsters is rapidly changing, and has been changing for the past two years or so. I now see them for what they are. Not for what I believe them to be. And that makes a big difference. It makes it much easier to not limit myself because of mind-made monsters. It doesn’t mean I don’t create monsters, because I do. I just don’t engage with them any more, in that imaginary battle, that is so energy consuming. I’ve spent enough energy in pointless battles with imaginary monsters, and I fail to see how that serves me or anyone else in any way.

So more or less (depending upon my state of mind in the moment!), I just don’t do imaginary battle anymore. Do you?

Domino chain reaction

This clip show’s the power of chain reactions, and that something small can impact something larger in the most astonishing way.

The take-away-message for me, is not to knock things because they are small.

I am but a human being, what impact can I have, is a thought that I sometimes entertain. But really, watching this really hits home, that yes, one person can be like that mini-domino at the very beginning of this chain reaction. So when that thought comes knocking next time, I’ll gently show it the way to the door again, no need to entertain it anymore. At all.

What’s your take-away-message?

Be gentle with yourself

I do a lot of coaching sessions right now, and one of the things that almost always seems to come up in the conversations, is the general tone of the inner voice we all carry with us. Mine used to be a dictator, lashing out at me with a leather whip, and being real nasty, on a daily basis. But not anymore. Not a lot, at least. I’ve become gentle with myself, and I cannot even begin to describe the difference it’s made in my everyday life.

Being gentle with myself, for me, means that I don’t beat myself over the head with a shovel anymore, whenever I do, say, or even think, something ”bad”. Because I’ve come to understand that ”bad” is a construction. My thoughts and the resulting feelings are neutral. They just are. But we have, as a society I guess, placed a whole lot of meaning on them, giving them a value.

If I ask you to name three good feelings, I’m certain it’s not a problem for you. Perhaps emotions such as love, joy, happiness, generosity, care come to mind? Now if I ask you to name three bad feelings, perhaps you’ll come up with emotions such as hatred, anger, anxiety, vengence, desire, jealousy and so on?

Well. What I’ve realized is that this is nonsense. It’s not true. There is no such thing as a good or bad feeling. That’s all make belief. We’ve invented it. And I think the reason we’ve made up all these stories around these feelings, is because when acting upon the ”good” feelings, generally there is value to that action. It serves us in some way, that is more easily understood and felt than when acting upon the ”bad” feelings. Acting on hatred rarely serve us, and generally speaking there is less apparent value to acting on these feelings. And I agree with that. But, that still doesn’t mean the feeling and the thought it came from, are good or bad. They still just are. They exist. Period.

And I even venture as far as stating, that believing in the story of good and bad thoughts and feelings, is actually causing much more harm to us, than shedding that belief, and seeing the thoughts and feelings for what they are. A thought. And a feeling. Nothing more, nothing less. Just that.

For me, this makes it much more easy to feel what I feel without beating myself up over it. I can be nervous without being nervous about it. I can be angry without being angry at myself for it. And so on. This is what I mean with being gentle with myself. I feel what I feel, and that’s ok. I’m ok with that. Most of the time, that is… because sometimes I’m at a low state of consiousness and then perhaps I’m not ok with being angry and upset. And you know what? That’s ok too!

Now, what this ok-ness doesn’t mean, is that I give myself permission to act on whatever feeling I’m experiencing in the moment. No. That’s another ball game. I’m ok with feeling whatever I feel, but I now know I don’t have to act on every feeling I experience. I can just sit with it. If I’m angry, that’s ok. But that doesn’t mean I have to scream and shout. Sometimes I do, because I feel that’s what will be of service to me in the moment. Sometimes I don’t, because I don’t feel it will be of service to me in the moment. There is no right or wrong that is always right or wrong. It varies. (Barring actually inflicting harm upon another being. Does that really ever serve anyone?)

Knowing this, really really knowing it in my heart, means that I am no longer a slave to my feelings. I don’t have that urge to lash out, when I’m angry, at least not at all as frequent as it used to be. I have a choice to act on my feelings, and what will serve me in the moment will vary. That means there really is no right or wrong here, and with that realization, suspending judgement upon myself and other has fallen away, and only remains to a very small extent in my life. So I’m not only more gentle with myself, I am also much more gentle with you, and the rest of the world.

Except when I’m not, because I have a muddled mind, lacking clarity, and that’s ok. I know my clarity will return, in time, and I also know that it really serves me to be gentle with myself. At all times.

be gentle

Be gentle with yourself. Try it out. You don’t even have to believe you deserve it. Just try it. Ok?

Held in a space of love

Being held in a space of love, that beats most things I’ve experienced. That’s what a great coach (for me) will do. And that’s what I experience at Supercoach Academy as well. space of loveBeing held in a space of love opens up for discovery of things within that I didn’t know were there to find. It opens for grabbing onto a story of mine, shining some light on it, and watching it dissolve into nothingness, because that’s what stories are. They really are nothing, but for the fact that we place meaning onto them. They are a thought, that we believe to be real, and that’s why they seem ream. But they are a thought, and it’s only when I ”have something on that thought” that it seems real to me.

During the last weekend with SCA2014, I was listening to a chat between Michael Neill and George Pransky, when George said something to the effect of:
It’s the meaning you put on ”it”, that is causing your distress.

(”It” being whatever it is you put meaning to, whatever it is you are dicussing, bringing up, getting stuck on.)

I can see this in my life, nowadays. I can see myself when I am in distress, and know where that feeling comes from. It doesn’t mean I don’t experience distress anymore. Not at all! That happens, all the time, because it’s part of the human experience on earth. It happens to us all. Period. But I know where my distress is coming from, and knowing that makes it seem slightly less real for me. It makes me not take that distress as Fact, as something that Must be. It makes me see the distress as a feeling I am experiencing, because I have a thought of some sort. And I feel the feeling. That’s a given. But I no longer believe that feeling to be a Must. It’s not a feeling that is inevitable. It’s not a feeling which is the only true response given the situation. It’s A feeling. Not THE feeling.

And when I am held in a space of love, I can begin to question my beliefs, question the stories I’m telling myself to be real. And that process is a miraculous journey, that free’s me up, expands me, makes it possible to let go of restrictions that don’t serve me (anymore), and mostly, for me, it means my energy is not wasted on conserving the stories of my life. The energy can be used for much greater thing. I don’t have to waste energy trying to maintain a status quo that is a construct of my thinking, instead the energy can be used, in the moment, for whatever want’s to show up, whatever wants to happen.

Have you ever been held in a space of love?

We are who we are

We are who we are by Little Mix, my daughters favourite group at the moment:

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”We Are Who We Are”

[Jade:]
Mama, mama, mama made me the way I am
My face, my eyes, someone turn me up, I’m speaking my mind[Leigh-Anne:]
And I, and I, I’ve been wasting a lot of time looking in mirrors
And hating on me, but now I like what I see[All:]
I know, I know, I’ll never be perfect
I know, I know, but I’m gonna work it
Let go, let go, put your new shoes on
The new you onWe are who we are, who we are, pretty’s just a petty word
And I’m gonna shine like a star, cause I’m the only me in this world
Throw away the books and the magazines, I’m never gonna look like a beauty queen
We are who we are, who we are, and I’m just doing me, just doing me
And I’m just doing me, just doing me[Jesy:]
Mama, mama, mama made me the way I am
She told me I should look up on the world with my head held high[Perrie:]
And I, and I, I’ve been wasting a lot of time looking in mirrors
And hating on me, but now I like what I see

[All:]
I know, I know, I’ll never be perfect
I know, I know, but I’m gonna work it
Let go, let go, put your new shoes on
The new you on

We are who we are, who we are, pretty’s just a petty word
And I’m gonna shine like a star, cause I’m the only me in this world
Throw away the books and the magazines, I’m never gonna look like a beauty queen
We are who we are, who we are, and I’m just doing me, just doing me
And I’m just doing me, just doing me

I know, I know, I’ll never be perfect
I know, I know, but I’m gonna work it
Let go, let go, put your new shoes on
The new you on

We are who we are, who we are, pretty’s just a petty word
And I’m gonna shine like a star, cause I’m the only me in this world
Throw away the books and the magazines, I’m never gonna look like a beauty queen
We are who we are, who we are, and I’m just doing me, just doing me

And I’m just doing me, just doing me
And I’m just doing me, just doing me

[Jade:]
And I’m just doing me, just doing me
And I’m just doing me, just doing me

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I made a commitment to myself during the end of the class in London in July. Since then, I am trying to do just that, the ‘I’m just doing me‘-bit. If you’re anything like me, you’ve been holding back. From fear, basically. Regardless of what thought/emotion we might claim is to blame, I believe fear is at the heart of the matter all the time. And since no one else can fill another persons shoes, why not rise to the challenge and do you?

Is the universe a friendly place?

I follow Marianne Williamson on Facebook, and stumbled upon this today. I immediately emailed the link to myself, to make sure I wouldn’t forget about it:

”I think the most important question facing humanity is, ‘Is the universe a friendly place?’ This is the first and most basic question all people must answer for themselves. “For if we decide that the universe is an unfriendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to achieve safety and power by creating bigger walls to keep out the unfriendliness and bigger weapons to destroy all that which is unfriendly and I believe that we are getting to a place where technology is powerful enough that we may either completely isolate or destroy ourselves as well in this process.

“If we decide that the universe is neither friendly nor unfriendly and that God is essentially ‘playing dice with the universe’, then we are simply victims to the random toss of the dice and our lives have no real purpose or meaning.

“But if we decide that the universe is a friendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to create tools and models for understanding that universe. Because power and safety will come through understanding its workings and its motives.”

”God does not play dice with the universe,” – Albert Einstein

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I’m not sure I’ve always believed the world a friendly place, but I do now. I do, fully…. and yet, sometimes I stumble. It happens that I forget the sun is always there, behind the clouds, and at times like that, the world can seem like a really cold, hard and unfriendly place. I know when I wake up tomorrow, or the day after, that thought will be gone, and a new one, affirming my belief that it IS a friendly place, will pop up. I also know, if I cling to the thought of the world being an unfriendly place, a new thought will take longer to appear.

And truth be told, it’s easier for me nowadays, knowing it’s all thought, to rest in the feeling of the day, whether or not if it makes me feel high or low. But all the same, I’m only human, and right now I sure long for a new thought to pop into my conciousness, because I really really don’t like to hang out in the cold, hard, unfriendly universe at all, do you?

Why aren’t we awesomer?

Michael Neill participated in TEDxBend and I just got a hold of his talk. I laughed, and figured that I no longer have to ponder what to post today. Here it comes:

As a student on Supercoach Academy 2014 I have the pleasure of spending time with Michael, and I have to say, this is the best investments I’ve ever made! And you know what really rocks my world? That I’m investing in me. That’s a fab feeling (stemming from a thought!), let me tell you!

Have you ever given any thought to thoughts (yours or in general)?

Where do thoughts come from?

Can I control what thoughts I think?
(Spoiler: No you cannot! Thought come, thoughts go, and that’s all there is to that!)

What do they result in?

If thoughts lead to a feeling (Spoiler number two: My feelings comes from thoughts. All of them. All.), do I have to believe in that feeling?

Do I have to act upon it?
(Spoiler number three: No you don’t. And acknowledging that what I feel – which is genuine, the feeling is there – stems from a thought, makes it much easier for me to act, rather than react! Try it out and see for yourself.)

So, why aren’t we awesomer? What’s your take on that question?