“I have no intake at all of any feedback or criticism from anyone who’s not in the arena.”
That’s one of the quotes from this episode of Good Life Project with Brené Brown that really hit home for me: Brené Brown – On Gratitude, Vulnerability and and Courage.
She talks about what type of feedback she’s getting, and how she’s gotten very self knowledgeable as to what type of feedback she’ll even begin to consider to take in. The ones filled with love, with ”you’ve changed my life”, or the even grander ”you’ve saved my life”, she doesn’t want to read. It’s too much for her, and it’s not constructive, in the sense it doesn’t give her anything to work further with. The ones filled with hatred, she’s not looking at, at all, there’s no sense in that, whatsoever. What she does like are the constructive ones, suggesting she look into someone else research, a book or a study she should have included in her own research, and so on.
All of that makes perfect sense to me, but what really hit home was that quote that I shared at the top:
What she’s saying there is this: if you are not vulnerable, putting yourself out there, in any way, shape or form, I’m not going to listen to what you have to say about me being vulnerable and putting myself out there.
I remember when I first listened to this episode. I heard what she said. All of a sudden, it made such perfect sense to me! Anyone not daring to be vulnerable, sharing themselves in that honest, open and authentic way (in any kind of arena, in any form, but putting themselves out there!) that Brené herself does so well, is not a good judge/critic of my vulnerability, of me putting myself out there. But if you do put yourself out there, if you are amongst those daring to be vulnerable, I am very interested in taking in what you have to share.
Today, on the International Women’s Day of 2015, that’s the message I want to help spread – if you dare to be vulnerable, then please also dare to reject the criticism and hatred of those who dare not, those who share not. Hatred doesn’t come from those who dare, it doesn’t come from those who share. No, from those on the arena, you will receive love, respect, compassion and empathy.
So this is my pledge:
I will dare to be vulnerable.
I will put myself out on the arena.
I will share and be love.
And here’s my challenge to you:
Dare to be vulnerable.
Put yourself out on the arena of your choice.
Share and be love.
I’m hoping more people will dare to be vulnerable, because I think that’s the way forward to that loving society that I envision. So. Is this a challenge you’re willing to take on?