Bye bye 2014!

Another year has passed and what a year. A year of transformation, a year in which I integrated myself into myself. A year unlike any other, so I’m curious about what will show up in my mind, when I set out to oom out to see what the year has offered.

SCA2014
During 2014 I participated in Supercoach Academy, which undoubtedly has had an enormous impact on my life. It has given me so much insight, so many experiences, immensely valuable friendships. Life will never be the same. And I’m grateful for it!

#afkAlmedalen
#skolvåren has obviously been a big part of my life even in 2014 and I remember with special warmth how amazing it was to experience Almedalsweekwith so so many #schoolspringers, all of which have a permanent place in my heart. In a short while we head for #afkUmeå and I can hardly wait!

Peak District
During the summer holidays the Roths traveled to England. No definite plans apart from start/stop in Ely, where we have family. Turned out to become a wonderful trip up to the Peak District. I particularly remember a visit to a deep mine and subsequent wanderings along the rolling hills dotted with sheep. The beauty of nature never sieze to amaze me!

Mastermind gang
A new constellation and astonishingly important for me. Never before have I so clearly understood the importance of creating contexts that challenge me to be and become my best self. Without you all, this year would be much less than it has been. You hold a space for me in which to grow, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Appreciation Calendar
Read a blog post a few months before Christmas on creating an appreciation calendar, which I decided upon. All four family members were given an envelope and in it we collectively penned 24 appreciations for each one of us. If you have not tried it, I highly recommend it, because it really creates an opportunity to experience, and share, gratitude.

Chicks
This is the year we got chicks! This monumental event has a definitive spot in the summary of 2014. Our three hens of the breed Faverolle, are so beautiful, and so talkative it’s funny. And did they ever grow quickly!! No eggs in sight as yet, but we are eagerly awaiting them now that daylight begins to return more and more.

Coach Carla
Carla is one of my SCA2014-colleagues, who made a big impression upon me, already the first weekend in Santa Monica. I hired her as my coach this fall and am forever grateful for the opportunity to work with her. She holds such depth. Such a compassion for beings. And her soul is beautiful. Not to mention her amazing voice. Namaste Carla, I look forward to continuing to work with you during the 2015.

Podcasts
I’ve read a huge amount of blog posts during the last 5-6 years …. but in 2014, I basically did not follow any blog. I’ve read a post here, a post there, but not opened my Feedly at all. Instead I dove headfirst into the world of podcasts. And oh, how many amazing podcasts there are out there!

Lifeline
You know who you are. You know, hopefully, how important you are. You are always there for me and I’m moved to tears just writing this. You are so important to me. Love you!

Expectations
Steve Chandler talk for 25 minutes about expectations versus agreements, and of all the pods I listened to in 2015 this is perhaps the one that turned my world upside down the most, in the very best of ways!

Significant meetings
Thanks to SCA2014 I have also visited highschool friends (Apple Valley and Seattle) that I haven’t seen in 24 years. I met up with a good friend from the American South, whom I met 20 years ago online, but had never met away from keyboard before. We did New York for a few days, days filled with laughter and explorations. And I had the pleasure to enjoy the company of Max and Mary for a couple of relaxing days on Long Island.

100 conversations challenge
In August, I initiated a 30-day challenge to find 100 people who all wanted to participate in a two-hour free coaching conversation with me. I filled the list with 100+ and have never had so many conversations ever, as I’ve had this fall. A small portion of the conversations remains to be had, and I eagerly look forward to resume them after the holidays. People have abilities and experiences that amaze me, and it makes me humbly grateful to take part of them, for two hours. For it has indeed been magical. Fantastic. Educational. Touching. Uplifting. Developing.

thanks 2014What I mention here is just a fraction of everything I experienced during the year and they are not set in any type of order. Fully random, this is what felt important to highlight, as I write this. But if I try to summarize what my perception of my life right now is, I’d have to say that I now live life with appreciation, love and joy. I discover what it is like to live when I have a kind and loving inner dialogue, in a quite outrageously developing and embracing context and I feel really alive.

So to all whom I have met, in one way or another, in 2014, I want to give you my deepest thanks, a thank you coming from my innermost being.

Thank you! You are important to me!

Hej då 2014!

Ännu ett år att lägga till handlingarna och vilket år sen. Ett år av transformation, ett år där jag integrerat mig i mig själv. Ett år olikt alla andra år och därför är jag nyfiken på vad som kommer dyka upp inför mitt inre, när jag föresätter mig att zooma ut för att se vad året bjudit på.

SCA2014
Jag har under 2014 deltagit i Supercoach Academy, vilket utan tvekan har haft en enorm betydelse för mitt liv. Det har gett mig så mycket insikter, så många upplevelser, ofantligt värdefulla vänskaper. Livet blir aldrig detsamma. Och det är jag tacksam för!

#afkAlmedalen
#skolvåren har så klart varit en stor del av mitt liv även under 2014 och jag minns med särskild värme hur fantastiskt det var att under Almedalsveckan få uppleva så mycket tillsammans med #skolvårare som alla har en permanent plats i mitt hjärta. Snart stundar #afkUmeå och jag längtar!

Peak District
I somras reste Rötterna till England. Inga definitiva planer förutom start/stopp i Ely hos släktingar. Blev en underbar resa i Peak District. Minns särskilt gruvbesöket och efterföljande strövtåg längs böljande kullar beströdda med får. Naturens skönhet slutar aldrig förundra mig!

MasterMind-gänget
Ny konstellation och helt förunderligt betydelsefullt. Har aldrig tidigare så tydligt förstått vikten av att skapa sammanhang som utmanar mig att vara och bli mitt allra bästa jag. Utan er skulle detta året blivit väsentligt mycket mindre än det blivit. Ni håller ett utrymme för mig där jag växer, och jag tackar er från djupet av mitt hjärta!

Uppskattningskalender
Läste ett blogginlägg ett par månader innan jul om att skapa en uppskattningskalender, vilket jag tog fasta vid. Alla Rötterna fick ett kuvert och i det har vi gemensamt präntat ned 24 uppskattningar till var och en. Om du inte testat det, så rekommenderar jag det verkligen, för det ger verkligen utrymme för att känna, och dela med sig av, tacksamhet.

Höns
Och så har vi ju blivit med höns. Denna monumentala händelse har en given plats i årssummeringen. Våra tre hönor av rasen Faverolle är vackra som få, och så pratsamma. Och som de växt! Ännu inte ett ägg i sikte, men det väntar vi med spänning på när ljuset börjar vända åter.

Coach Carla
Carla är en av mina SCA2014-kollegor, som redan första helgen i Santa Monica gjorde stort intryck på mig. Anlitade henne som min coach i höstas och är evigt tacksam för att få jobba tillsammans med henne. Vilket djup. Vilken människokärlek hon verkar från. Vilken själ hon besitter. För att inte tala om hennes fantastiska röst. Namaste Carla, jag ser fram emot att fortsätta arbeta med dig under 2015.

Podcasts
Har ju läst bloggar till förbannelse under de senaste 5-6 åren…. men under 2014 har jag i princip inte följt en endaste blogg. Har läst ett inlägg här, ett inlägg där, men inte öppnat min Feedly överhuvudtaget. Istället är det podcasts jag har djupdykt i. Och oj vad många fantastiska sådana det finns!

Livlinan
Ni vet vilka ni är. Ni vet förhoppningsvis hur betydelsefulla ni är. Ni finns där i ur och skur och jag rörs till tårar bara jag skriver detta. Så viktiga är ni för mig. Älskar er!

Förväntningar
Steve Chandler talar under 25 minuter om förväntningar versus överenskommelser, och av alla poddar jag lyssnat till under 2015 är det kanske den som vänt upp och ned på min föreställningsvärld. På det allra bästa vis!

Betydelsefulla träffar
Tack vare SCA2014 så har jag också efter 24 år återsett gamla highschool-kamrater i både Apple Valley och Seattle. Har träffat en god vän från amerikanska södern, som jag lärde känna för 20 år sedan men som jag aldrig tidigare träffat afk. Vi upptäckte New York tillsammans under dagar fyllda av skratt och skön samvaro. Och jag fick glädjen att njuta av Max och Marys sällskap under ett par sköna dagar på Long Island.

100-konversationer-utmaningen
I augusti inledde jag en 30-dagars utmaning att hitta 100 personer som alla ville delta i en två-timmars gratis coachingkonversation med mig. Jag fyllde listan med 100+ och har aldrig haft så många samtal som under hösten. Ännu återstår en liten del av samtalen och jag ser med glädje fram emot att få återuppta dem när helgerna närmar sig sitt slut. Människor besitter så ofantligt många förmågor och upplevelser, och det gör mig ödmjukt tacksam att få ta del av detta under två timmar. För det har i sanning varit magiskt. Fantastiskt. Lärorikt. Rörande. Upplyftande. Utvecklande.

Tack 2014Dessa punkter jag lyfter fram nu är bara en bråkdel av allt jag upplevt under året och de är inte satta i rangordning. Helt slumpartat var det detta som just nu kändes viktigt att lyfta fram. Men om jag försöker summera det som är min uppfattning av mitt liv just nu, så säger jag att jag idag lever livet med uppskattning, kärlek och glädje. Jag upptäcker hur det är att leva när jag har en vänlig och kärleksfull inre dialog, i helt sanslöst utvecklande och omfamnande sammanhang och jag känner mig verkligen levande.

Så till alla som jag mött, på det ena eller andra sättet, under 2014, vill jag skänka mitt djupaste tack, ett tack som kommer från mitt allra innersta väsen.

Tack! Du är viktig för mig!

Adventslyft nr 21 – Hem

hemHem. HEM. Vad är ett hem?

Är det min bostad?
Vad händer då om jag saknar bostad?

Är det min familj?
Vad händer då om jag förlorar min familj?

Är det sakerna jag omger mig med?
Vad händer då om någon olovligen tar mina saker?

Om jag förlorar min bostad, min familj, mina saker.
Betyder det att jag är hemlös då?

På sätt och vis. Ja.
Men samtidigt.
Nej. Absolut inte!

För hem är en känsla som jag bär inom mig.
Hem är inte min bostad.
Hem är inte min familj.
Hem är inte mina saker.
Hem finns inuti mig.

Hem kan vara mina känslor om min bostad.
Hem kan vara mina känslor om min familj.
Hem kan vara mina känslor om mina saker.
Men det sitter inte i bostaden, familjemedlemmarna, sakerna. Även fast det är lätt att tro det. Det har jag själv gjort under större delen av mitt liv. Men inte längre.

För hem är en känsla som sitter inuti mig.

Detta är en insikt jag slagits av senaste året. Michael Neill inledde Supercoach Academy 2014 med att prata till känslan av att vara hemma, att komma hem, och gjorde just denna koppling. Att hem är något jag bär inom mig.

Jag förstod inte först. Det kändes svårt att frikoppla begreppet hem från fysiskt påtagliga saker, så som min bostad, allt jag möblerat och inrett min bostad med och mina kära familjemedlemmar. Men successivt under året så har känslan av hem allt oftare landat i mig, och den växer, fördjupas, förgrenar sig. Jag jordas. Och idag är jag allt som oftast hemma, i mig själv.

Hem – jag tänker med tacksamhet på Michael Neill som inledde SCA2014 i Santa Monica med en invitation att komma hem. Att hem är något jag bär inom mig.
Hem – vem eller vad tänker du på?

Held in a space of love

Being held in a space of love, that beats most things I’ve experienced. That’s what a great coach (for me) will do. And that’s what I experience at Supercoach Academy as well. space of loveBeing held in a space of love opens up for discovery of things within that I didn’t know were there to find. It opens for grabbing onto a story of mine, shining some light on it, and watching it dissolve into nothingness, because that’s what stories are. They really are nothing, but for the fact that we place meaning onto them. They are a thought, that we believe to be real, and that’s why they seem ream. But they are a thought, and it’s only when I ”have something on that thought” that it seems real to me.

During the last weekend with SCA2014, I was listening to a chat between Michael Neill and George Pransky, when George said something to the effect of:
It’s the meaning you put on ”it”, that is causing your distress.

(”It” being whatever it is you put meaning to, whatever it is you are dicussing, bringing up, getting stuck on.)

I can see this in my life, nowadays. I can see myself when I am in distress, and know where that feeling comes from. It doesn’t mean I don’t experience distress anymore. Not at all! That happens, all the time, because it’s part of the human experience on earth. It happens to us all. Period. But I know where my distress is coming from, and knowing that makes it seem slightly less real for me. It makes me not take that distress as Fact, as something that Must be. It makes me see the distress as a feeling I am experiencing, because I have a thought of some sort. And I feel the feeling. That’s a given. But I no longer believe that feeling to be a Must. It’s not a feeling that is inevitable. It’s not a feeling which is the only true response given the situation. It’s A feeling. Not THE feeling.

And when I am held in a space of love, I can begin to question my beliefs, question the stories I’m telling myself to be real. And that process is a miraculous journey, that free’s me up, expands me, makes it possible to let go of restrictions that don’t serve me (anymore), and mostly, for me, it means my energy is not wasted on conserving the stories of my life. The energy can be used for much greater thing. I don’t have to waste energy trying to maintain a status quo that is a construct of my thinking, instead the energy can be used, in the moment, for whatever want’s to show up, whatever wants to happen.

Have you ever been held in a space of love?

Rebirthed from and to love – graduation day of SCA2014

So, it’s time. The nine months of Supercoach Academy are up, and I just woke up to the last and final day of this last weekend, entitled Integration & Expansion. It’s been a journey that has me in awe of the gifts of human beings, because my classmates here – and there’s like 70 plus of us – are just amazing.

Some of them I have barely talked to, this being such a large group, but I love them anyway. Some of them I’ve shared a talk or a break out session with, and I’ve gotten to know a little something of them. Then there’s the rest, that have actually touched my heart, and will forever be held close to it.

But you know what, I love them all, regardless of how close to my heart they have come (I have let them?). In fact, this whole weekend has me feeling like I am being reborn, and this time honey, my heart and my love for all that is is coming out first. This love for all is the outermost part of me, it’s my new skin, it’s the cornea of my eyes. Hence, it’s the filter that will tint the way I perceive the world, putting the rose-tinted sheen of love on my experience of the world, which is how I’m creating my reality.

I love U

Strange. Out there. Nutty.
I know. I could easily label this feeling with words to that effect, and my experience of the world through the filter of love as being insane, as if I’m seriously loosing it, somehow. I could feel that way, if I try to make sense of it, and put a label on it.

But then again, why should I? I don’t have to make sense of this, I can just do what I am doing, and that is to go with it. Going with the sensation of looking at each and everyone of my classmates and just feeling the love of the universe flowing through me, out into the world.

And you know what? This would not be possible if I hadn’t first remembered what it’s like to love myself, something that has gradually awakened within me this past year or two. That process started before Supercoach Academy, but it sure got a kick into overdrive from this experience. I could not extend my love for all, if – at the center of this – I didn’t have my love for me.

I am curious about today, really looking forward to it, but even more so, I’m dying to go home to my family to look at them through my new cornea. I have no idea what difference it will make, I just know it will. I feel it already, and it’s like I’ve gotten a taste of something I know I’m gonna love to have more of.

That said, it’s time to make myself ready for today, and it has the feel of getting ready for my spiritual rebirth! I’m wowed. This is an amazing place to be, and I’m ever so grateful for getting to this state of mind on this particular day. I’m also really curious to know if anyone else has ever had a similar experience. Have you?

Creation weekend #SCA2014, day 4

And then it came to an end, like all the weekends have. Like all weekends do, since we have decided to create the concept of time and days. Have you ever considered the fact that time is a human creation? Is it really? How do I know this? Hm… lots to think about there!

I am – once again – grateful for having the opportunity to meet all these magnificent people, having them in my life, learning from them, sharing with them, loving them.

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Headed off to Ely to my brother and his family in the afternoon, and have enjoyed an afternoon and evening talking about this and that, including family, travels, SCA2014, his work, Thai politics and the purpose of school. I got a few new insights, like I tend to do when I talk about the purpose of school with people. I like getting insights. Do you?

Creation weekend #SCA2014, day 2

Creativity and creation, what is that, really? Is it something all humans have a capacity for? Or are there a few chosen people, born with the possibility to create?

The theme for the weekend in London is creation, and today we have dwelved into the concept even more, together with Aaron Turner. Lots of laughter, insights and sharing. So much so I feel all cheesecaked out (all participants of SCA2014 will understand the reference, and for the rest of you, imaging the feeling you get when you’ve overeaten cheesecake. Fancy some more food then? Not really, right? That’s the mental state I am in right now.)

So much so, that I have absolutely no way of trying to write down even a semblance of a coherent answer to the questions at the top of the post. But perhaps you have some thoughts on the matter?

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After class I strolled across the street down to Shepherds Market, had a glass of cider and talked to some of my fellow SCAers, and then latched onto Carla, Caroline and Andrew for dinner. Magnificent dinner and dito company. What interesting conversations we had. I feel blessed for being in the company of so fascinating people! I promised to send them a link to a short clip on amazingness, which was one of the topics we covered at the dinner table. Here it is for all of you to see:

Once I got off the bus and walked the last few blocks home I was feeling a bit creative myself:

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A tad Andy Warholish right? Creative, or just being a copy cat?