12/24 – Change the universe?


Do you? Do you realize you can? Have you figured out that it doesn’t have to be something grand to actually make a change?

With the smallest of acts, we can change the universe. Each and everyone of us. Because everything I do has some impact, on something or someone. It’s a bit like the butterfly effect.

At times, this feels like a heavy burden. Knowing when I do something that’s not good for the world, it has a negative effect. The knowledge weighs me down. Feel guilty. Ashamed. But I seldom follow this feeling, as it rarely serves me.

Mostly though, my take on this is a sense of wonderment at the endless possibilities available! Everything I do can make a difference. I can assist in creating a beneficial change to the universe. Little me. Imagine that!

Do you want to make a change in the universe?

Reflection #12 of 24 from the notes I took and the experience I had at the Seth Godin Q&A-session in London, November 2015. These reflections will constitute my Advent Calendar for 2015, and will be posted daily from December 1st to the 24th.

Not my format!

I am attending the Innate Health conference in the northern outskirts of London at the moment and today is the last day out of three in total. And I had a realization yesterday right before the conference ended, having noticed something in myself both day one and day two: The standard conference format just doesn’t do it for me anymore. Sitting down from morning til late afternoon, just doing intake – listening to this interesting person, these riveting talks, this panel…. with short breaks and lunch, it’s too much for me. My head get’s filled up already by lunchtime. SImply because it’s all too good! And I’m to stingy to leave – I mean, I’ve paid my ticket, I want to get the most out of it…. That last part is of course something I could learn to drop, but still. I wrote in my note book yesterday that I should avoid conferences and go to retreats instead. 

Doodling during the conference – with the occasional message to myself.

I’ve never been on a retreat as such, but there are several that I’ve considered going to. In beautiful surroundings, with a few intake sessions/day, and plenty of space inbetween those sessions, to make sure there’s time to listen to what happens within during the retreat. It’s in the space between where the magic happens, rather than during a seminar, or a plenary panel, or a full day conference. 

My old self had no such issue with full day conferences. Possibly because I didn’t know that something else existed, or perhaps rather because I wasn’t aware of the magic of the space inbetween. I have learnt to reflect, to sit with myself and whatever wants to show up, these past few years, and these last days have given me the realization that I’ve changed. 

I like that. I love it actually. I love noticing the progression within myself, how what I do/feel/think today differs from yesterday, the year before or decades ago. It’s absolutely amazing, and I am so grateful for noticing it. It points to the limitless possibilities of life, of living on this earth, on having this human experience. As I write this I sit here with a silly grin on my face, feeling extremely happy. 

So. I’ve progressed. Full-day traditional conferences no longer do the trick for me, I have different preferences. Now I just need to remember this, the next time an opportunity pops up. And a few already have popped up I just realized. Hm. Time to act according to my understanding, and drop the ”Well just this one time”-attitude that is so easy to fall into when changes are to be made. What’s your best trick for following your wisdom rather than your old habits, in a situation like this?

Podcast 9/52 – Love and Sex and Attachment

Today marks the start of the blog challenge #Blogg100 in Sweden, and just as the last two years, I’ve decided to play. However, I have no real plan for doing anything other than what I normally do, which is blog daily…. but, who knows, I might think of something special as I go along.

However, today is Sunday, and it’s time for my ninth podcast tip, and I’m opting for an episode from On Being with anthropologist Helen Fisher, called Love and sex and attachment. I listened to the episode earlier this week, and just like a few other podcasts, immediately re-listened once finished. Today as I found the link for the episode I see Helen Fishers photo, and was a bit surprised. Her voice doesn’t sound like she looks. Have you ever experienced that? Anyway, that’s a side note.

Love, sex, attachment. I mean – you can’t really go wrong there, can you? It’s something we are all interested in and affected by. And that’s actually the reason why Helen got into this area of scientific enquiry in the first place, because she was so interested in that which ties us together, that which we all have a relationship to, the similarities between people, rather than that which separates us.

BoldomaticPost_relationships-evolve-and-a-goOne of the take away’s for me from this podcast is the ever-changing nature of relationships, and that it’s actually a sign of a good relationship, that it is constantly changing, growing, evolving. And you know why? Because life in itself is constantly changing – nothing is permanent. We have somehow gotten tricked into believing it is, or should be, but in reality, life is dependent on change, changing thoughts, changing needs, changing mental states, changing relationships. So how could we ever believe that any one person, or any one relationship, could be permanent? Is it a need for safety and security that have warped somehow? Perhaps due to the loss of the local community, that Krista Tippitt and Helen Fisher also touch on in the show?



everchangingWe are made to love, to live, to create, to laugh, to cry, to eat, to sleep, to connect, to caress, to be and to do. Journal

In a wonderful mix. Ever-changing.

The Headspace meditation series on CHANGE has really helped me become even more aware of the ever-changing state of mind and body. I often meditate lying down (Heresy!, I hear you say… but hey, whatever works right?). And then I observe that my neck is tense. So I relax, letting my head sink down into the pillow. Continue with the meditation. And all of a sudden my neck is tense again. So I relax. Again. And so it continues.

So far I’ve never been able to spot the moment when I begin to tense up in my neck. It’s just suddenly tense. Even though I know that it’s not like that. There is a beginning to that sensation, and perhaps, with raised awareness I will be able to spot it. One day. Some day. Perhaps. Or perhaps not.

Everchanging. Isn’t that fascinating?

PS – I have three months of free access to Headspace to gift someone. I was thinking I’d give it away to one of my blog readers. Interested? I really want it to come to good use, and Headspace has a ten day free trial, so please download the app and try it out. If, after your trial, you are committed to using it for another three months, give me a holler. Ok?


Feeling a bit jitterish, but at the same time: there’s nothing more for me to do. It’s out of my hands, and all I can do is be me. And that’s something which I definitely practice a lot more nowadays, compared to most of my life.

It’s a change I am very happy about, even though it might be a bit troublesome for my surroundings, as the Helena they believed they knew, acts differently these days. That difference is me. That difference is me being me. That difference is me, more pure, raw, undiluted. The Helena they knew was a person faking it. Believing I had to put on a mask, act in certain ways, not true to me, but true to the show I believed was expected of me. That Helena was never me. And it’s not who I am today.

AwarenessAnd then this post popped into my stream today, giving me back that which I had temporarily forgotten.

‘What?’, you may ask.

I’d forgotten that this is what it’s all about. Not to coach. Not to fix (there’s nothing to fix!). But to be a Game-Changer. And I am.

And you know? That’s not just a brash statement from me. That’s not something I believe to be true. I don’t have to believe it. Because I’ve tested it. I know I have helped clients see things they couldn’t see before. I know I’ve held a space for clients to go deeper and purer than they have ever gone before. It happens. Not all the time, every time I see a client. Not by a long shot. But when it happens – BAM, that IS a game-changer, let me tell you!

Remember that jitterish feeling? I’ll just hug it, but I definitely won’t cling to it. Because it doesn’t provide much value to me at the moment. And what I know to be true, I know to be true.

Are You a Game-Changer?

If not me, who? If not now, when?

Yesterday my daughter posted a link to the talk Emma Watson did for the UN Headquarters on the launch of the HeForShe-campaign, and wrote a little prompt encouraging her Facebook-friends to watch it, in her very wise ways. Today we watched the clip together and it gladdened me to hear my daughter say ”I’d like to make a contribution to that campaing somehow!” when we’d watched it to the end. Please spend some 14 minutes watching it yourself if you haven’t already:

There is a lot to be said about gender inequalities, but I’ll focus on the same thing that my daughter picked up on in her prompt, namely:


Really good questions those, that I definitely will keep top of mind. But not necessarily questions I need to answer with my intellect, when I ask them silently within. Perhaps they had better just be asked, and reflected upon, letting wisdom shine through and give me the answers.

Imagine the change we all can be in the world, if we ask ourselves this when we hesitate if we really can make a dent in the universe:

If not me, who? If not now, when?

On Change


I like change. I call myself a change agent, so it would be strange if I didn’t like change, so it’s not a great surprise to anyone, I gather.

There is truth to the old saying that you cannot change anyone else, the only one I can change is myself. And hence, I am the foremost tool for being the change I want to see in the world, to paraphrase Gandhi.

What do you feel when you read the quote by Mister Shaw?