Kategoriarkiv: Coaching

Responsibility

Publicerad den av
1

What is responsibility?
What does it mean?
How do I act responsibly?
And why do I have such strong attachment to the word, with a heavy feeling of sorts attached to it?

Those are but a few of the questions that arose a while ago, during a coaching call with my coach. Since then, I’ve toyed with the word, played with the concept, observed my feelings, written about it in my journal, and also spoken again and again with my coach about it, but also brought it up in other conversations.

I’ve gotten more insight. I’ve discovered the story I was telling myself about being responsible, and why it is ”something I have to do”. No wonder it had a heavy feel to it!

If I think responsibility is a heavy burden to bear, a must, something one should do, it’s only logical that it will have a very heavy feel to it. 

And you know what? It doesn’t have to.

The more I’ve sat with the word, I’ve realized responsibility can feel very light as well. It all depends on my state of mind. When I am in a low state of mind, I feel alone, having to carry the weight of responsibility all by myself. When, on the other hand, I am in a high state of mind, I feel connected to the Whole, to Mind, to whatever connects us all to each other (also when I’m in a low state of mind, mind you! Only when I’m low, I lose sight of the connection that is always there, as if I’ve gotten lost).

When I’m aware of the connection, feeling connected, responsibility is light as a feather. It’s as if I am no longer the only one to carry my load, like I’m larger than life, and no burden is too heavy. My self is so expanded, so connected to the energies of Mind, that I’m sharing the weight with everyone. Light. As a feather.

feather

I like the new relationship with Responsibility that I am exploring. What is Responsibility to you? Is it heavy? Or light as a feather?

Human Potential

Publicerad den av
Svara

Human Potential – big words. Fluffy words even?

Or is it just a two-word description of that which is unique to each and every one of us; my human potential being the onlyness within me. Your human potential being the onlyness within you. And we each have our very own personal onlyness.

If you are anything like me, when I think about Human Potential my mind goes in two directions:

1) What IS my human potential? What is my HIGHEST human potential? And is it static? Or constantly evolving?

2) How do I access it? How can I live up to my highest human potential?

HPcertification1I’ve had insights into both these queries these past few months. And guess what, I’ve just become a certified Human Potential assessment coach, so if you are as curious as I was, I can help you find out for yourself.

Whoaaaaa, that sounds even fluffier, doesn’t it? Finding out what my highest potential is and how I can live up to it, no way, you might think. Well. Perhaps that’s what you think. But then again, you might go, like I did: Whoa, that’s so cool, I want to try it!

This is something very special, and I am very eager to start to use this tool with a few clients. The name the Human Potential Assessment Tool is a long and kind of boring name for something that for me worked as portal (i.e a gateway to other dimensions), instantly taking me, in the company of my mentor (who was already a certified HP Assessment coach), very deep within myself. That is the invitation this tool holds.

And before you say anything, let me just stop you, right there. This is not a personality test tool. It’s not categorizing you and casting you and your results in comparison with the results of hundreds of thousands of other people…. nope. And it’s not something that will make you happy or make you live up to your full potential once you’ve done the assessment. Nothing like that. This is a self assessment tool, opening a door for transformation.

If you would like to know more about it, just let me know, and we’ll schedule a time for a conversation. A gateway to other dimensions, I mean, who wouldn’t be curious about that?

This blog post, number 10 of 100, is a part of the #blogg100 challenge currently running in Sweden. 

The What of a Transformative Coach

Publicerad den av
Svara

The other week my Supercoach Academy-colleague Steve M Nash posted a link explaining what a transformational coach does, and I rejoiced at the simplicity and beauty of it…. while also succumbing to darker thoughts of envy…. because if ever there was a blog post I wished I had written myself, it’s this one!

He starts of with an introduction, about the anguish of trying to explain what a transformative coach does, and knowing him, I can hear his voice speaking these words:

Steves party piece

Alas, much to my regret I didn’t write that article, but luckily enough, I know Steve so at least I got to read it, and I urge you to do so yourself. It’s a great explaination of transformational coaching, and also points at the amazing potential that is within us all, each and every one of us.

All the links I’ve created within this blog post links directly to Steves post, but just to be superclear, click here and read it for yourself, all the way through: http://www.smnash.com/transformative-coach/

answer within

So if that didn’t spark your curiosity to contact Steve, or me, here’s a final question for you:
If everything you need is already within you, what might be possible then?

A girl’s best friend

Publicerad den av
1

Diamonds right, that’s what you thought I’d blog about? Well. No. That’s a load of crock. Diamonds cannot be the best friend of anyone.

And really, I am misleading you. Because that’s not what I want to talk about. Rather it’s the best friends of a coach I’m curious about, and taking an even larger view on it, these are probably the best friends any human being can have! All of ‘em, including you, although it might not be something you are concious of.

So, anyway, as a coach, and as a human being, I have three best friends:

Questions – great questions can sometimes totally flip a client, as it can be an invitation to an insight. New bubbles of conciousness opens up in a flash moment.

Silence – I no longer have the urge to avoid silence, needing to speak the moment it goes quiet. No. Nowadays I love silence. It’s a great help, and again, by keeping silent, sometimes that can be an invite to a turning point. Accepting the silence without the nagging desire to fill it with something, just being with it, in it. Magic!

Mind – this is the greatest one of them all really. Because this is where insights come from. This is where original though come from. This is the one I listen for, and sometimes it sparks insights that strike like lightning, out of blue sky. Sometimes much more subtle, wispering ever so quietly, so the only way to pick up on it is by being very quiet with sharp ears.

serve

So these three are the best friends I’ve got, questions, silence and mind, all working together to create the best life and world there can be. This is how I can serve my coaching clients the best way I know, and it’s also my contribution to creating a more loving world.

What are your best friends, for serving yourself, your surroundings and the world?

Fastnat i trygg omgivning?

Publicerad den av
Svara

Budskap från hönanGick en CoachWalk i veckan, och gjorde reflektionen att det är ganska vanligt att fastna i invanda spår. Inget fel i det, men med jämna mellanrum tror jag det gagnar att få syn på dem, titta på dem, vrida och vända på dem, och säkerställa att dessa spår fortfarande ger ett värde, att det finns en relevant anledning att köra på, fortsätta framåt, i samma spår. För ibland är svaret att det inte är så. Värdet är överspelat, och att fortsätta i samma spår skulle snarast innebära en långsam stagnation, att du begränsar dig och din potential.

Och det är inte så att det alltid kostar en massa (energi, tankemöda, arbete, pengar, vad du än lägger in i en process) att testa något nytt. Så länge du är i rörelse i någon form, så spelar det ingen roll egentligen om du dansar på stället, tar ett babystep fram, ett rejält kliv bakåt eller åt sidan eller om det är ett sjumilakliv framåt som lockar. Rörelsen är poängen. När vi slutar röra oss så stagnerar vi och dör.

Rörelsen är generös till sin natur, den kan ske på så många olika vis, att det finns något för alla i varje given stund. Och du behöver inte ens tro att du kan röra dig, för det räcker med att ha modet att testa. Känns det skrämmande så börja smått. Efterhand så kan det komma en stund som bjuder in till lite mer vidlyftiga rörelser. Det finns inget rätt eller fel, och bara du vet vad som kan ge värde för dig.

Lyssna inåt, och känn efter, kanske finns det en rörelse som pockar på och vill uttryckas i ditt liv?

Holding a space of love

Publicerad den av
2

Being held in a space of love is for me a great place to be coached from. But being held in this way is something that I’ve experienced in many different settings.

My MasterMind-group is a great example of this, and I think that is part of the success that group is/has. Being held in a space of love means that I can be me, full out, without feeling like I have to guard my human experience. I can just be, and tell my MasterMinders where I am at. Full stop. Daring to say what I am experiencing in the moment, is a liberating sensation, and not one that I’ve been used to experiencing. At least not this unrestricted, unfiltered and vulnerable. I’ve always been one for laughing when that urge sets in, but crying, or acknowledging my feelings of shame, guilt, embarassment and such, not so much. Letting those feelings shine through somehow meant that I was bad, corrupt, broken. Or so I thought. And that was a thought I believed to be true.

My beloved friends in back office of #skolvåren are another example of this. That’s also a group where I can just be me. And it’s such a wonderful sensation, let me tell you.

And yes, I feel this, sometimes, within my family. Not always. It’s as if the close relationships sometimes makes it harder, because there are so many expectations between all involved. Or is this just my perception of it?

There is the child. As is. And then there is my image of what that child should be, could be. As he/she is not. When I believe in the imaginary image that I am holding my child up against, constantly measuring, checking, judging to see whether or not my child ”fits the part”, I am NOT holding my child in a space of love. Rather the opposite.

There is the spouse. As is. And then there is my image of what that spouse should be, could be. As he/she is not. When I believe in the imaginary image that I am holding my spouse up against, constantly measuring, checking, judging to see whether or not my spouse ”fits the part”, I am NOT holding my spouse in a space of love. Rather the opposite.

And go figure, the more of this I practice, the more of this I get in return. So if I want to be held in a space of love, what better way than holding that space of love myself?

Holding a space of love

Because I can drop the imaginary images, I can shed them, and just be with what is. Be with my child. Be with my spouse. Just be and hold them, from a space of pure love. Because the love is there. That has never been the issue. But it’s been clouded, which has made it harder for said child or spouse to feel held in a space of love. Because love hasn’t been all they have been held within. And that has been the case. Except occationally, when all there has been has been that timeless and unconditional love, undiluted.

Now, this past year, as I’ve been shedding more and more of the layers I’ve been ensconsed within, layers that are no longer serving me, blocking the light within me to shine through, I have also dropped my attachment (most of it? all? is it possible to drop it all? it honestly feels like that most of the time) to the imaginary images, and I am with what is. And that kicks all of my relationships up into a different ball game. And you know what, I’m really curious as to what will unfold from this place and space.

I’m doing more and more holding from a space of love, and it has a calm and peaceful sensation to it. It’s like an exhalation after holding my breath for a while. Holding my breath requires a lot of tension. And the relief when I exhale is palpable. That’s how I feel when I hold a space of love. And I love that. So if I want to be held in a space of love, what better way is there than holding a space of love?

Lyssna efter det du inte redan vet

Publicerad den av
3

Som ett direkt resultat av utmaningen att få 100 coaching-konversationer inbokade har jag numera samtal i parti och minut. Långa samtal blir det då jag sätter av två timmar till varje konversation. Allt som oftast håller jag dem som CoachWalks på Bulltofta, men viss andel blir CoachTalks via SKYPE.

Vissa samtal blir helt magiska, de lyfter och flyger högt, i tanke och känsla. Det sker något påtagligt, och oftast kommer den där fantastiska tystnaden fram. Andra är helt ok, blir goda samtal, men utan den där känslan av att något riktigt stort inträffar. Och några få känns närmast som platt fall, de tar inte fart för fem öre.

Har funderat lite på det där, och tänker för det första att jag ju inte vet vad som sker i min klient under och efter vårt samtal. Bara för att jag inte upplever att samtalet verkligen gör intryck, så vet ju inte jag vad klienten upplever. Och för det andra så visar det också på det som är vår mänskliga upplevelse, nämligen att det går upp och ned och det är livet. Ibland går det bra, ibland mindre bra, ofta är jag klarsynt men inte alltid och detsamma gäller ju klienten. Så är det helt enkelt, och det är jag numera ok med, vilket onekligen frigjort en massa energi som jag kan använda på saker/tankar som gagnar mig mer.

Men givetvis är det inte min avsikt att samtalen ska falla platt. I ett samtal mellan två människor har ju dock båda ett ansvar för det som utspelar sig. Och idag kom jag på en av bitarna som kanske leder till de där samtalen som aldrig lyfter, nämligen huruvida klienten eller jag, enkom lyssnar efter det som vi redan vet, eller om vi lyssnar efter det vi inte vet.

Lyssna efter det du inte vet

Det gör enormt stor skillnad när jag lyssnar efter det jag inte vet, i mötet med en annan människa (eller för den delen i mötet med mig själv). Större delen av mitt liv har jag febrilt försökt ignorera det faktum att jag inte vet allt… orden Jag vet inte har skrämt mig, eftersom jag trott att det betytt att jag varit utan värde, fel, ointressant, oduglig.

Så upplever jag inte längre situationer när jag inte vet något, och numera förekommer också Jag vet inte mer och mer i min vokabulär. Tanken att jag kan försöka lyssna efter det jag inte vet hjälper mig definitivt. Den finns där som en påminnelse att inte söka bekräftelsen i det jag redan vet – för hur växer jag av det? Det är ju när jag tar klivet in i för mig okända områden/tankar/sfärer, som jag och min förståelse expanderar.

Vad händer när du lyssnar efter det du inte redan vet?

Held in a space of love

Publicerad den av
2

Being held in a space of love, that beats most things I’ve experienced. That’s what a great coach (for me) will do. And that’s what I experience at Supercoach Academy as well. space of loveBeing held in a space of love opens up for discovery of things within that I didn’t know were there to find. It opens for grabbing onto a story of mine, shining some light on it, and watching it dissolve into nothingness, because that’s what stories are. They really are nothing, but for the fact that we place meaning onto them. They are a thought, that we believe to be real, and that’s why they seem ream. But they are a thought, and it’s only when I ”have something on that thought” that it seems real to me.

During the last weekend with SCA2014, I was listening to a chat between Michael Neill and George Pransky, when George said something to the effect of:
It’s the meaning you put on ”it”, that is causing your distress.

(”It” being whatever it is you put meaning to, whatever it is you are dicussing, bringing up, getting stuck on.)

I can see this in my life, nowadays. I can see myself when I am in distress, and know where that feeling comes from. It doesn’t mean I don’t experience distress anymore. Not at all! That happens, all the time, because it’s part of the human experience on earth. It happens to us all. Period. But I know where my distress is coming from, and knowing that makes it seem slightly less real for me. It makes me not take that distress as Fact, as something that Must be. It makes me see the distress as a feeling I am experiencing, because I have a thought of some sort. And I feel the feeling. That’s a given. But I no longer believe that feeling to be a Must. It’s not a feeling that is inevitable. It’s not a feeling which is the only true response given the situation. It’s A feeling. Not THE feeling.

And when I am held in a space of love, I can begin to question my beliefs, question the stories I’m telling myself to be real. And that process is a miraculous journey, that free’s me up, expands me, makes it possible to let go of restrictions that don’t serve me (anymore), and mostly, for me, it means my energy is not wasted on conserving the stories of my life. The energy can be used for much greater thing. I don’t have to waste energy trying to maintain a status quo that is a construct of my thinking, instead the energy can be used, in the moment, for whatever want’s to show up, whatever wants to happen.

Have you ever been held in a space of love?

Supercoach!

Publicerad den av
1

I’m now officially a certified transformative coach, a graduate of the Supercoach Academy 2014, and I have to tell you – it’s a great feeling!

IMG_3567.JPG

It has been a nine month journey unlike any I’ve ever experienced, and I am grateful for getting on the ride!

IMG_3613.JPG

Went for a quick dip in the ocean before continuing my travels, and was playing around a bit in the sand. And as you can see, from now on I’m not only HERO the coach, I am HERO the supercoach. And that feels great.

Now I’m gonna rest in the feeling and knowledge of having accomplished this for a while longer, and then – who knows! I’m certainly curious to find out what will be around the corner. Are you?

Utmaningens upplopp!

Publicerad den av
2

Uppdatering 15 sept 2014: Alla 100 platser fylldes med ett halvt dygn till godo! Om du önskat att du också fått en plats så får du höra av dig så löser vi det med!

—————-

Med endast två återstående dagar av de trettio dagarna då jag utmanat mig själv att boka in 100 (gratis 2 timmars-) coaching-konversationer så skickar jag här ut en vädjan till dig om att hjälpa att fylla den sista knappa femtedelen av platserna.

Mer information kan du få här:

Passa på och ta chansen nu! Med 100 samtal att hålla är min kalender fylld resten av året, så de som inte får en av de 100 platserna kommer inte få en ny chans till ett samtal förrän 2015.

Vad har du att förlora?