Volontär på Café Lajvet

Caspian taggade mig på Facebook häromdagen; ett upprop efter kloka kvinnor sugna på att vara volontärer på Café Lajvet.

Svårt stå emot en sådan taggning, kände mig oerhört klok och kastade bums iväg ett mail till Café Lajvet. Fick snabbt svar från Madde, som är huvudansvarig för Café Lajvet, som drivs av Mind Skåne, fick jag veta då vi sågs för ett snack.

Vännen Tess är volontär på självmordslinjen i Stockholm, och en annan klok kvinna jag känner är volontär på densamma i Malmö, så Mind har dykt upp i min värld både en och två gånger. När så Caspian taggade mig, kändes det som en signal att agera. Sagt och gjort, numera kan jag lägga volontär på Café Lajvet på mitt curriculum vitae.

Ser med nyfikenhet fram emot vad det månde leda till (har bokat in mig på ett första pass om en dryg vecka!) – och du, om du är en klok kvinna, som liksom jag lockas av uppmaningen, lägg ett mail till hej at cafelajvet punkt se du med, så kanske vi ses där?!

Everyday life

Out of body. And possibly out of mind as well… That’s what it feels like.

And, well. No. I’m not, neither of them. But I am definitely keen on heading home, that’s for sure. While going through security at Heathrow on Sunday, for my fourth flight in eight days I had a hard time to stay focused, and for a while there, I was having a deja-vu feeling of being in Düsseldorf on my way home after the Summit for Human Potential Realisation.

Not so, of course. I’m flying home with my 16 other choir members and our conductor Jens after our UK tour. And oh how I long for home right now (as I am writing this, on the plane).

morgonmatI want to sleep in my own bed. Next to my husband, snuggle up close and breathe him in. Hug the children. Sit down with them all to dinner, hearing about their ongoings this past week. Have a green smoothie in the morning, and a bowl of fruit with yoghurt for lunch. Let the chickens out of the coop in the morning, and take a stroll out into the garden later on in the day, checking for freshly lain eggs.

As I write, the out-of-body-sensation starts to creep up on me again, as I dream myself away into my ordinary everyday life at home… the smells, sounds, sensations. The daily chores of housekeeping. I even long for the task of hanging and folding some laundry. So maybe, I have gone out of my mind after all?

Connective harmonies

At first.
There is nothing.

Silence.

Then.
A hum.
A deep, vibrating hum.

Grounding me.

The vibrations enter me, Body, Mind, Soul.
All starts to vibrate within me.

Then.

I start to hum.
Cannot keep it in.
Out it comes.

A deep, vibrating hum.
Grounding me even deeper.

Blending with the existing hum, weaving back and forth. Together.
More voices join in.
The hum grows, in strength and resonance.

When I close my eyes, the overtones are apparent within me. I can feel the vibrations, starting with the base notes, slower vibrations, at the root of my being. Vibrations spread upwards within me, octave upon octave. Soon there is a symphony of resonance engulfing me, I cannot tell my boundaries, I am dissolving, becoming a part of a big humming body, in resonance, together.

I have to breathe.

I stop humming. Deep intake of breath. My boundaries solidifies again, as I stand surrounded by the vibrations, letting them carry me while breathing.

When I’ve replenished my body with fresh air, the hum within cannot be contained anymore, so out it comes, rejoining the choir of humming voices. Together again.

Once more, I start to dissolve, the world around me disappear, all there is is this co-creation, a being made up of voices, filling me up.

Every cell of my body sings, I go from humming a sonorous base tone to a high-pitched tone, clear, wordless. It’s the voice of an angel coming through me, soaring high on unlimited and unconditional love, dancing on the threads of vibrations, expressing the exuberant joy of experiencing Heaven on Earth.

It goes on and on.
Time ceases to exist.
What is. Is.

And then. Collectively, as one, we lower our voices, the energy remains, but more contained, concentrated, slowly dissolving, like a mist, dispersed by the ray of sunshine.

Voices go silent, one after another, keeping the hum within, rather than letting it out into the world. Like a ball of energy, nesting deep within the soul of each participant, a proof of our connection, a reminder of our human potential. The ability to start with nothing and out of it create a symphony of resonance.

One single hum remains…wonder

And then.
Silence.

Except deep within our souls,
where the ball of energy remains,

a reminder of Heaven on Earth.

Responsibility

What is responsibility?
What does it mean?
How do I act responsibly?
And why do I have such strong attachment to the word, with a heavy feeling of sorts attached to it?

Those are but a few of the questions that arose a while ago, during a coaching call with my coach. Since then, I’ve toyed with the word, played with the concept, observed my feelings, written about it in my journal, and also spoken again and again with my coach about it, but also brought it up in other conversations.

I’ve gotten more insight. I’ve discovered the story I was telling myself about being responsible, and why it is ”something I have to do”. No wonder it had a heavy feel to it!

If I think responsibility is a heavy burden to bear, a must, something one should do, it’s only logical that it will have a very heavy feel to it. 

And you know what? It doesn’t have to.

The more I’ve sat with the word, I’ve realized responsibility can feel very light as well. It all depends on my state of mind. When I am in a low state of mind, I feel alone, having to carry the weight of responsibility all by myself. When, on the other hand, I am in a high state of mind, I feel connected to the Whole, to Mind, to whatever connects us all to each other (also when I’m in a low state of mind, mind you! Only when I’m low, I lose sight of the connection that is always there, as if I’ve gotten lost).

When I’m aware of the connection, feeling connected, responsibility is light as a feather. It’s as if I am no longer the only one to carry my load, like I’m larger than life, and no burden is too heavy. My self is so expanded, so connected to the energies of Mind, that I’m sharing the weight with everyone. Light. As a feather.

feather

I like the new relationship with Responsibility that I am exploring. What is Responsibility to you? Is it heavy? Or light as a feather?

Mind-made monsters

Here’s another recent thing I stumbled upon, which gives even more support to the exclamation that a change in expectation can make blind people see:

It’s about Sargy Mann, a painter, blind since 25 years. After going completely blind, he once more tried his hand at painting, and experienced the same as that which the Invisibilia-podcast on How to become batman also talks about: that the blind can see. Here’s Sargy Mann’s experience in his own words, which you can also hear yourself in the YouTube-clip:

BoldomaticPost_So-I-brush-aquamarine-up-ther

The way the mind and our thoughts shape our world, never ceases to amaze me. And it’s not about believing I can or not. (Even though that certainly can help or hinder my progress.) It’s about testing. It’s about picking up that paint brush filled with aquamarine, it’s about exploring the world which is there regardless if I see it or not (consider totally blind Daniel Kish riding a bicycle, a good example that blows my mind when I think about it!).

Is it perhaps about understanding, that whether I believe it or not, that’s thought and not truth, and there is only one way to find out: by doing.

Not having mind-made monsters limit me, living my life, for fear of something or other.
Not having to fight those mind-made monsters either, because then I create a battle ground in my mind, and try to get ready to fight. But – what I forget then is this simple fact: If the monsters are mind-made, then the fight is as well. It’s all make-believe.

Understanding this means that my relationship with my mind-made monsters is rapidly changing, and has been changing for the past two years or so. I now see them for what they are. Not for what I believe them to be. And that makes a big difference. It makes it much easier to not limit myself because of mind-made monsters. It doesn’t mean I don’t create monsters, because I do. I just don’t engage with them any more, in that imaginary battle, that is so energy consuming. I’ve spent enough energy in pointless battles with imaginary monsters, and I fail to see how that serves me or anyone else in any way.

So more or less (depending upon my state of mind in the moment!), I just don’t do imaginary battle anymore. Do you?

A girl’s best friend

Diamonds right, that’s what you thought I’d blog about? Well. No. That’s a load of crock. Diamonds cannot be the best friend of anyone.

And really, I am misleading you. Because that’s not what I want to talk about. Rather it’s the best friends of a coach I’m curious about, and taking an even larger view on it, these are probably the best friends any human being can have! All of ‘em, including you, although it might not be something you are concious of.

So, anyway, as a coach, and as a human being, I have three best friends:

Questions – great questions can sometimes totally flip a client, as it can be an invitation to an insight. New bubbles of conciousness opens up in a flash moment.

Silence – I no longer have the urge to avoid silence, needing to speak the moment it goes quiet. No. Nowadays I love silence. It’s a great help, and again, by keeping silent, sometimes that can be an invite to a turning point. Accepting the silence without the nagging desire to fill it with something, just being with it, in it. Magic!

Mind – this is the greatest one of them all really. Because this is where insights come from. This is where original though come from. This is the one I listen for, and sometimes it sparks insights that strike like lightning, out of blue sky. Sometimes much more subtle, wispering ever so quietly, so the only way to pick up on it is by being very quiet with sharp ears.

serve

So these three are the best friends I’ve got, questions, silence and mind, all working together to create the best life and world there can be. This is how I can serve my coaching clients the best way I know, and it’s also my contribution to creating a more loving world.

What are your best friends, for serving yourself, your surroundings and the world?

Divided or not?

Thomas de Ming shared a YouTube clip on his Facebook-page, of Parker J Palmer talking about living a divided life. I got curious about it, and just watched it. I suggest you do to:

Isn’t it funny how life unfolds? Yesterday I wrote about Mind – Body – Spirit scaring me shitless, and I woke early this morning with a feeling that I wanted to come down and write more about this. Last night I saw the post linking to this clip, but didn’t watch it, so the first thing I did this morning, was to watch it. And there it was. Another nudge to live my life fully, as me, 100%, and to shine the light at the voids I still have within me. The voids that are really nothing more than places I have yet to discover, and perhaps even more importantly, accept.

I live a divided life, to some extent, but much less so than just a few years ago. I’ve found that the less divided my life is, the greater the quality of life I live is. What about you? Do you live a divided life? If so – are you happy with that? Or would you like to explore living life more fully as you, 100 %?