Podcast 21/52 – Failure is your friend

I’ve had a lot of thoughts and conversations centered around the concept of failures, what it is, what it isn’t, why it affects us so much, and how we should look at it in order not to let fear of failure paralyze us. Hence, when I stumbled upon a new (for me) podcast, Freakonomics Radio, featuring an episode entitled Failure is your friend, they had me hooked already.

BoldomaticPost_The-quicker-you-fail-the-moreI haven’t even read the Freakonomics books, but I think there’s one in the book shelf upstairs. After having listened to this episode and one more, I’m definitely picking up the books as well. Because I really like this. They had a fun and kindhearted questioning take on the subject, and seem to be like that overall, which I find very refreshing.

So, not only do I here give you a new podcast, which makes me very happy, since I’ve been a bit introverted lately, listening to the same-old-same-old, but also a subject that I really care a lot for. I also give you an episode which I think is a valuable listen for most everyone.

The fear of failure can be paralyzing, and it has certainly affected me (more in the past than now, luckily!) and many I see around me as well. And I have yet to see that fear of failure serve individuals or humanity at large. On the contrary, many are the things without which our society would not be the same, that are a direct result of people failing well, failing fast, and failing productively.

Are you served by how you relate to failure?

När stödet i skolan brister

#anhörigriksdagen i Varberg deltog Barn i Behov och gjorde stort intryck på alla deltagare. Jag träffade Cilla och Jessica som anhörigriksdagens första dag höll ett föredrag. Ett föredrag som ruskade om och ledde till en strid kö till BiBs monter där de som var intresserade kunde kolla hur just deras egna kommuner stod sig i den datainsamling som Cilla skapat under idogt och ihärdigt arbete. Helt sanslöst egentligen att hon tagit fram ett material baserat på data som de flesta av kommunerna inte ens kunde svara på rakt av, utan fick sätta folk på att leta fram siffror och fakta i rapporter och system.

Och bäst av allt så filmades föredraget så du kan titta på det du med:

Om du tvekar på om det är värt dryga 35 minuter av ditt liv så kan du ju lyssna till vad Mikael 6 år säger:

Jag står här i korridoren för jag förstör för hela klassen.

Vi kan inte ha det så här längre, eller hur?

Learning and unlearning

This is the most fascinating proof of how knowledge differs from understanding:

So amazing to witness the moment when he learns/unlearns, and how it seems to just click in place, somehow. Absolutely mind boggling how he actually had to unlearn something which he’s known for decades in order to learn the new way to ride a bike. It took him much longer than I thought it would, at that, and comparing that to the experience of his son…. Wow!

And yeah, I am deliberately vague, and hope you get curious enough to actually press play on the video above. This really is something worth spending a few minutes on! Ok?

Vatten, lille vän!

Läste ett inlägg på Facebook av Naturskyddsföreningen med ett tips på hur man kan säkra att bin och andra av våra livsviktiga pollinerare får möjlighet att dricka vatten, vilket tydligen är en av de svårigheter som de små krypen stöter på i sin vardag. Inte så konstigt kanske, så lite vattendrag som finns kvar, rent generellt. Och bina behöver just grunda vattendrag, för att inte drunkna. 


Instruktion: Bivattnare

Jag läste det där och blev överlycklig, eftersom jag har en stor skål med sonens spelkulor i pannrummet i källaren. Han ville inte skänka bort dem, men använder dem inte längre. Men nu kom ett par handfull spelkulor till användning, och fatet som maken hittade ställd vid sidan av en av containrarna på vår lilla återvinningsstation (där det givetvis inte borde stått, eftersom det inte är en förpackning) var alldeles lagom grunt.


Bivattnare hos familjen Roth

Dessutom finns det lite andra väldigt enkla och smarta tips för att göra livet enklare för våra vänner pollinerarna. Bland annat att plantera blommor, inhemska helst, och att undvika att använda gifter i din täppa, oavsett om den består av en blomlåda på fönsterkarmen, en balkong eller stora trädgården. Vad mer kan man göra för att göra livet lite drägligare för pollinerande insekter?

From the deepest despair to the highest hope

Yesterday at the Innate Health conference a man by the name of Dicken Bettinger spoke. And how he spoke. Dicken shared a few stories, one of which related to a troubled teen, and that’s the one that got to me, real hard. A few minutes in on his sharing my eyes started to tear up and by the end I was sobbing, uncontrollably.  

From a place of opposing feelings; from the deepest despair, that we, ordinary people, can innocently be so cruel to each other, to the highest hope, that if you are listened to, by someone who has an understanding of the way the world actually works (inside out), your life can change in an instant.

Does that sound too easy? As if I look at turning from despair to hope with just a thought as something too lightheartedly?

I ensure you I don’t. But I think you just like I, have experienced at least once in your life, a change of heart, where you go from one state of mind to another, in the blink of an eye, in the time it takes to think one thought.

There’s a quote from Sydney Banks that describes this perfectly:

Everybody, everybody, is only one thought away from whatever you’re looking for, if you can find that one thought. And that one thought — do you know what it is? It’s a state of thoughtlessness, thoughtlessness from the little personal mind. This is why people meditate. The second your mind quietens down, what you call divine mind, spiritual mind, spiritual intelligence, spiritual knowledge, true knowledge — all the same thing in different names — comes into being. And you get what you call an insight, that is a sight from within, deep past your personal mind, and all of a sudden, your world changes. 

That’s where my hope lies. In the fact that a change of heart, a shifting of the way I see and experience the world, can happen in a heartbeat, born by the wisdom contained within one thought. That’s hopeful. And I rejoice at the fact that even though I realized the other day that I will not be coming to this type of conferences again (for now at least), I was there yesterday for an experience that shook me to the core. In the very best of ways, mind you, because I only stayed in despair for a short time. The hopefulness of it all takes over in me, and from there, beautiful things can happen. Because I know that anything is possible. That’s the message for me, after these three days at the Innate Health conference: look to and come from love and understanding. Then anything is possible. Anything. Even the seemingly impossible. Such as turning from a world of despair into a world of hope, all of a sudden. Hopeful isn’t it?

Not my format!

I am attending the Innate Health conference in the northern outskirts of London at the moment and today is the last day out of three in total. And I had a realization yesterday right before the conference ended, having noticed something in myself both day one and day two: The standard conference format just doesn’t do it for me anymore. Sitting down from morning til late afternoon, just doing intake – listening to this interesting person, these riveting talks, this panel…. with short breaks and lunch, it’s too much for me. My head get’s filled up already by lunchtime. SImply because it’s all too good! And I’m to stingy to leave – I mean, I’ve paid my ticket, I want to get the most out of it…. That last part is of course something I could learn to drop, but still. I wrote in my note book yesterday that I should avoid conferences and go to retreats instead. 

Doodling during the conference – with the occasional message to myself.

I’ve never been on a retreat as such, but there are several that I’ve considered going to. In beautiful surroundings, with a few intake sessions/day, and plenty of space inbetween those sessions, to make sure there’s time to listen to what happens within during the retreat. It’s in the space between where the magic happens, rather than during a seminar, or a plenary panel, or a full day conference. 

My old self had no such issue with full day conferences. Possibly because I didn’t know that something else existed, or perhaps rather because I wasn’t aware of the magic of the space inbetween. I have learnt to reflect, to sit with myself and whatever wants to show up, these past few years, and these last days have given me the realization that I’ve changed. 

I like that. I love it actually. I love noticing the progression within myself, how what I do/feel/think today differs from yesterday, the year before or decades ago. It’s absolutely amazing, and I am so grateful for noticing it. It points to the limitless possibilities of life, of living on this earth, on having this human experience. As I write this I sit here with a silly grin on my face, feeling extremely happy. 

So. I’ve progressed. Full-day traditional conferences no longer do the trick for me, I have different preferences. Now I just need to remember this, the next time an opportunity pops up. And a few already have popped up I just realized. Hm. Time to act according to my understanding, and drop the ”Well just this one time”-attitude that is so easy to fall into when changes are to be made. What’s your best trick for following your wisdom rather than your old habits, in a situation like this?

Love and understanding

Love and understanding. Yesterday I was reminded, again, that love and understanding is always the answer.   

Asking myself, I know that if I have done something wrong, something I am not proud of, perhaps even ashamed of having done, getting told off, made to stand in a corner to repent, perhaps even being ostracized, that never (!) creates a setting where I dare to truly look within and take ownership of my actions, and know or find a way forward from them, away from them, levelling up, rather than just repeating them over and over. Never.

What does create a setting where I am willing, able, to look within, honestly and consciously, and evolve, is, always, love and understanding. Unconditional. Non-judgmental.  That always does the trick. Given that I step into it myself. That’s the barrier for me. I also need to look at me with love and understanding.

Sometimes I don’t. And then I won’t. Evolve I mean, by looking honestly within. Taking full ownership of myself, my believes and my actions. If I’m stuck in a mode of self-loathing, judgment and disdain, there is no progression. I am stuck. Believing the inner chatter telling me how bad, worthless and pathetic I am, I don’t get away from it. I cannot rise above it, seeing it for what it is: thoughts. Transient, as thoughts are to their very nature. 

But when I step into love and understanding within myself, seeing whatever mindless mental chatter there is for what it is, transient thoughts, not Truth, anything can happen. That’s what I’ve experienced. Anything can happen from that place, the potential is unlimited, endless. Anything. 

And what a place that is to come from, to live from, where anything is possible. Where love and understanding forms the base, the come-from-place. Love and understanding for me. For you. For us. For everything. 

What happens for you when love and understanding is your come-from-place?