23/24 – Construct your life



You construct your life. 

Unless someone else does it. And is it then the life you want to live? Or does it turn into a life lived by you, rather than the life you want to live?

Perhaps it’s a subtle difference, not visible to each and all of you.

But for me… there is a difference there. A matter of ownership. Of being the person constructing my life, taking it on, fully, actively. Constructing my life.

The opposite is riding along in the bus. Back-seat driver at best. Likely nothing more than a passenger. Passive. Ceding ownership to someone, something, else. Almost a way of claiming victimhood. Who would I cede to? And why?

No. Not for me. That is not my path. I don’t see a reason why I would not construct my life. Do you?

Reflection #23 of 24 from the notes I took and the experience I had at the Seth Godin Q&A-session in London, November 2015. These reflections will constitute my Advent Calendar for 2015, and will be posted daily from December 1st to the 24th.

Love and understanding

Love and understanding. Yesterday I was reminded, again, that love and understanding is always the answer.   

Asking myself, I know that if I have done something wrong, something I am not proud of, perhaps even ashamed of having done, getting told off, made to stand in a corner to repent, perhaps even being ostracized, that never (!) creates a setting where I dare to truly look within and take ownership of my actions, and know or find a way forward from them, away from them, levelling up, rather than just repeating them over and over. Never.

What does create a setting where I am willing, able, to look within, honestly and consciously, and evolve, is, always, love and understanding. Unconditional. Non-judgmental.  That always does the trick. Given that I step into it myself. That’s the barrier for me. I also need to look at me with love and understanding.

Sometimes I don’t. And then I won’t. Evolve I mean, by looking honestly within. Taking full ownership of myself, my believes and my actions. If I’m stuck in a mode of self-loathing, judgment and disdain, there is no progression. I am stuck. Believing the inner chatter telling me how bad, worthless and pathetic I am, I don’t get away from it. I cannot rise above it, seeing it for what it is: thoughts. Transient, as thoughts are to their very nature. 

But when I step into love and understanding within myself, seeing whatever mindless mental chatter there is for what it is, transient thoughts, not Truth, anything can happen. That’s what I’ve experienced. Anything can happen from that place, the potential is unlimited, endless. Anything. 

And what a place that is to come from, to live from, where anything is possible. Where love and understanding forms the base, the come-from-place. Love and understanding for me. For you. For us. For everything. 

What happens for you when love and understanding is your come-from-place?

12 years a slave

Flying to the US for my last and final weekend on the 2014 Supercoach Academy, I watched 12 years a slave on the in-flight-entertainment system. 12 years a slave And I was horrified. It’s a magnificent production, excellent acting, and absolutely horrible to watch. And I actually had never even thought about the possibility of free African-American men, women and children being kidnapped and sold into slavery. But it happened, and the movie is based on the book written by Solomon Northup himself, after managing to get out of slavery. Apparently one of very few kidnapped to manage to escape.

There is one thing I believe slavery builds more than anything else, and that is more fear. I can only imagine what those who are enslaved fear, but I can hazard a guess: Fear of their owners, fear of being sold, abused, mistreated, separated from loved ones, worked to death, etc. And the very concept that slavery exist must put fear in those who aren’t enslaved as well, especially those in close proximity of slavery, somehow. Fear of falling into slavery oneself, must be there. It just must. Unconciously or conciously.

One of the most absurd things – for me – about the entire concept of slavery is the notion that human beings can be owned by someone. Isn’t it absolutely absurd? I wonder how and why this notion ever got rooted in the culture of humanity, especially since it’s such an old tradition. It’s been around for thousands of years. But why?

I don’t know. I ramble. But I do know this: ownership is definitely something worth looking into. Asking myself some questions around ownership, I’ll reflect more on it. Because what can I own, really?