Kategoriarkiv: #English

A girl’s best friend

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Diamonds right, that’s what you thought I’d blog about? Well. No. That’s a load of crock. Diamonds cannot be the best friend of anyone.

And really, I am misleading you. Because that’s not what I want to talk about. Rather it’s the best friends of a coach I’m curious about, and taking an even larger view on it, these are probably the best friends any human being can have! All of ‘em, including you, although it might not be something you are concious of.

So, anyway, as a coach, and as a human being, I have three best friends:

Questions – great questions can sometimes totally flip a client, as it can be an invitation to an insight. New bubbles of conciousness opens up in a flash moment.

Silence – I no longer have the urge to avoid silence, needing to speak the moment it goes quiet. No. Nowadays I love silence. It’s a great help, and again, by keeping silent, sometimes that can be an invite to a turning point. Accepting the silence without the nagging desire to fill it with something, just being with it, in it. Magic!

Mind – this is the greatest one of them all really. Because this is where insights come from. This is where original though come from. This is the one I listen for, and sometimes it sparks insights that strike like lightning, out of blue sky. Sometimes much more subtle, wispering ever so quietly, so the only way to pick up on it is by being very quiet with sharp ears.

serve

So these three are the best friends I’ve got, questions, silence and mind, all working together to create the best life and world there can be. This is how I can serve my coaching clients the best way I know, and it’s also my contribution to creating a more loving world.

What are your best friends, for serving yourself, your surroundings and the world?

Being OK with what is

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As I have an enormous amount of conversations at the moment, I keep being reminded about one of the key factors in the transformation I’ve undergone these past years. And I even got a reminder of it from the daily EnneaThoughts that I subscribe to since many years back:

Acceptance

Being OK with what is, accepting whatever emotion I’m feeling in any given moment. If you don’t recognize this, I hesitate as to whether or not you can you even begin to understand what a difference that acceptance makes, compared to constant inner fighting, not being OK with my feelings, not wanting to feel what I was feeling, and believing I was bad for feeling what I felt.

Oh the energy I’ve wasted over the years, I cannot even begin to fathom the extent of it….

But no more!

And guess what? I don’t beat myself up for the energy I’ve wasted over the years either. What’s done is done, and thanks to me doing it, I’m where I am at today, so really, it’s a blessing!

Because today, I am ok with what ever state of mind I am in. I am, truly, ok with it. I accept, fully, and with that comes complete and utter compassion and love. For me, but also for the world I live in.

This also means that even if/when life sucks, I’m ok, I’m good, and most of all, I don’t have to run away from what is, or fight myself for being where I am. I can just be with what is.

Are you ok with what is or do you fight it?

Love or hate?

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Watched a brilliant TED Talk during lunch:

Very interesting to hear Jeremy Heiman talk about the difference between old and new power, as well as old and new values. I resonate with the new power and the new values, and there is a lot of recognition there, from my experiences in social media during these past years.

As today is #NoHateSe-day in Sweden, I cannot help but make a connection to what Jeremy also speaks about, which is his point that new power by no means equals positive power. That depends on the values we come from, which in turn is dependent upon a choice we have to make, each and every one of us. Because both you and I have a choice in how we show up in the world.

#NoHateSe

Do you want to come from a point of hate, or a point of love? For me the choice is easy. I try to come from love, in all I do. And that might sound really hippyish and spaced out, but you know what I’ve noticed? The biggest difference is in me. When I come from a place of love, my life is better. Heck, it’s heaps better! Even when life sucks, and I’m in a bad mood, it’s still loads better, than when I came from a more negative and hateful place.

What’s your choice, love or hate?

Vision and the inner voice

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The importance of a vision, closely linked to the soul of the country, or company, is one of the thoughts reverberating in my head after my meeting with Richard Gerver yesterday afternoon, together with Susanne, Ann and Therese from #skolvåren back office. I only missed Ninna, who was with us in spirit, not being able to get away to join us.

Meetup with Gerver

Richard shared the story of his meeting with Eric Schmidt, CEO of Google, who said, the real failures of Google, have come about when they tried to act based on the fear of what someone else is doing – Facebook are launching X, we must have something similar! – rather than go deep within to find what they, Google, want to do, regardless of what others are doing.

And that’s what Richard asks Sweden:
Find your vision, believe in you path ahead, and stick to it. Don’t copy cat Finland (now slipping in the ranks of PISA), to move on to copy cat Singapore (latest fad school system everyone want’s to learn from), to move on to….

Vision

No, stop right then and there. Ask instead:
What do we want?
Where are we?
Where do we want to go?
What are the needs of Swedes and Sweden, for a school system?

Discover our Why, find that vision, and stick to it, Richard passionately asks of the hundred or so of teachers, principals, school developers and #skolvårare, in the audience in Huddinge.

I have more thoughts to sit with, after an hour listening to Richard, but this one is top of mind at the moment. But I’m fairly happy to just sit with it, not really doing much at all to act upon this, at this very moment. I’m on a school break, with my kids, enjoying them and their company immensely.

And you know what, the message Richard wants to get across is extremely relevant here as well. So I’ll do what I can to make sure my children know how to listen to their own voice, to find their passion, rather than believing life is about going after someone elses dreams. Because it’s not. Listen within, and there is a voice somewhere, sometimes whispering, other times shouting loudly.

What might happen in the world, when more of us wake up to that inner voice?

Au revoir!

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Have two friends, very dear to my heart, that are embarking upon a grand adventure on November 7th. Or rather, about a year ago or so, they actually set the ball rolling, that has led to the point of them selling their house, packing up all their stuff, to head south in not even two weeks time.

Wivan

Last night they had an Au revoir-get together for friends and neighbors at a really cosy restaurant in Malmö, and I went of course. To hug, get a bit teary eyed, hug some more, have dinner, talk to interesting people – old and new acquiantances – and get to say Au revoir to Wivan and Anders.

My life is enriched thanks to their courage to explore space – both inner and outer – and to share their discoveries with me, and us all, for instance through their blog LIVE FULLY TODAY.

Wivan and Anders, know that I love and honor you, and bless the day our paths crossed!

Witnessing the inner and outer journey of these two truly extra ordinary souls, is an inspiration. And it makes me wonder what is possible in my life, that today seems totally impossible. I’m curious to find out! Are you?

Shake it off!

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This one is for my daughter, even though I know she prefers the original version by Taylor Swift. But I love Postmodern Jukebox, so here it is, in a great cover version:

The message she picks up on is the wisdom in actually shaking things off, when they don’t serve us, and just going for it, really, do your thing if it lights you up, regardless of what other people say. I like the sound of that right now.

What do you feel like shaking off at the moment?

Fear begets fear

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In the movie Bowling for Columbine by Michael Moore there is a short clip on fear, making a very poignant statement on the fact that fear begets fear. See for yourself:

It’s a dreadful story, but really…. what it says is this:

Within the reality of fear, fear is what you will get.

And that might not make a whole lot of sense, but let me try to put it closer to home.

Ever lost your keys? You search and search for them, checking in bags, pockets, the laundry basket, inside cupboards and drawers, in the ceramic bowl where you normally put them…. but to no avail. Gone. Nowhere to be found.

Know the feeling?

And then, all of a sudden…. your friend/spouse/child looks in the ceramic bowl, and says Here they are!

And you are dumbfounded. HOW is it possible? I LOOKED THERE, I promise I did.

Or, second scenario when your friend/spouse/child isn’t around, and you search and search, and finally give up. You go do something else for a while, and then go to pick up another key from the bowl…. and lo and behold, there the lost keys are as well!

And you are dumbfounded. HOW is it possible? I LOOKED THERE, I promise I did.

Ever experienced something similar to this?

This is the thing:
Within the reality of ”my keys are lost”, your keys are lost. Within that reality, you can’t find them. But within the reality of your friend/spouse/child your keys weren’t lost, they were simply not found. And within that reality, the keys are easier (unless you’ve really lost them) to find. And the same goes for the second scenario; when you leave the ”lost keys-reality”, you enter another reality where they can be found.

The same goes with fear. Within the reality of I am so afraid, you will not find comfort, safety and security. You need to shift from that reality to another one, where comfort, safety and security can be had. The good news about that is that just as the keys could be found from another reality, it’s entirely possible for us to switch realities (if you object to reality being used here, call is state of mind, call it my experience of life, call it the human experience), because the reality I experience is created by the feelings coming from the thought in my head.

And the switch only have one thing stopping it from happening, and that is if I cling for dear life to the current one. That very effectively stops a new thought (and hence a possible new reality) from showing up, and then I’m stuck.

So you have a choice: stick to the existing reality of the problem you’re currently facing, or let it go, and have a possibility to find whatever you are looking for?

It’s just a ride!

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Life is just a ride.

Words spoken by Bill Hicks 20 odd years ago, but their power surely hasn’t diminished. Because life truly is just a ride! And if you don’t believe me, look for yourself:

Or if you’d rather read, here’s a transcript as well:

The world is like a ride at an amusement park,
and when you choose to go on it,
you think it’s real,
because that’s how powerful our minds are.
And the ride goes up and down and round and round
and it has thrills and chills
and it’s very brightly colored
and it’s very loud.
And it’s fun, for a while.

Some people have been on the ride for a long time,
and they begin to question:
‘Is this real? Or is this just a ride?’
And other people have remembered,
and they come back to us and they say
‘Hey! Don’t worry, don’t be afraid – ever – because…
this is just a ride.’
And we kill those people.
‘Shut him up! We have a lot invested in this ride!
Shut him up!
Look at my furrows of worry;
look at my big bank account, and my family.
This has to be real.
‘It’s just a ride.
But we always kill those good guys
who try and tell us that — ever notice that? —
and we let the demons run amok.
But it doesn’t matter, because…
it’s just a ride, and we can change it
any time we want.
It’s only a choice.
No effort.
No worry.
No job.
No savings and money.
Just a choice, right now,
between fear and love.
The eyes of fear want you
to put bigger locks on your door,
buy bigger guns, close yourself off.
The eyes of love, instead,
see all of us as One.

Here’s what we can do
to change the world, right now,
into a better ride.
Take all that money
we spend on weapons and defense each year
and, instead, spend it
feeding, clothing and educating
the poor of the world,
which it would do many times over —
not one human being excluded —
and we can explore space together,
both inner and outer, forever.
In peace.

After watching the documentary The Internet’s own boy of Aaron Schwarz, this is made even more poignant for me. Because isn’t that just what happened? Basically, here’s this guy saying we have it wrong, and the structures of society does whatever they can to make sure he cannot continue to speak his truth, trying desperately, and ultimately succeding, in shutting him up.

It makes me even more determined though, to continue to explore space, inner and outer, because that’s where I can find my truths. And so I want to ask you, wanna explore with me?

In tears; determined!

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Have you seen The internet’s own boy about Aaron Schwarz? It’s an amazing documentary. A tear jerker. It touched me deeply, and I’m almost ashemed of being a part of the culture that makes a person with gifts like Aaron, kill himself.

If you haven’t seen the documentary, I urge you to do it. Immediately! And then you reflect on the choices you can make, small or large, that can help create a better world. Aaron believed in questioning, asking why, and not settling for what is. Question in your way.

Because I believe in a better world, just like Aaron did. Throughout the documentary that’s the message that shines most brightly for me, this enormous urge to do good, and help in making the world a better place. All similarities between me and Aaron end there, because in no way do I want to compare myself to his brilliance. But then again, I don’t have to. Because we are all needed. Each and every one of us has something unique, and when that unique core is used to create a better and more loving world, we will be able to level up, both as a society and as individuals.

Aaron believed in questioning, asking why, and not settling for what is. He questioned in his way. Watching the documentary has me in tears, but I am also more determined. I am strengthened in my belief that we can change the world, in the power of asking why, that one person can make a difference and that we are all needed.

I urge you to question the structures of the world we live in, your way, and I’ll keep on questioning in my way. Deal?

Jag gråter, och stärks!

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Har du sett Internets underbarn? DOX dokumentär på SVT Play om Aaron Schwarz? Den är helt fantastisk. Tårdrypande. Jag blev oerhört berörd, och det är nästan så jag skäms över att vara en del av den samhällskultur som gör att en person med gåvor som Aarons, tar livet av sig.

Varför Aaron Schwarz

Har du inte sett dokumentären så uppmanar jag dig att göra det. Bums. Och sen att fundera över vilka val du kan göra, i det lilla, eller det stora, som tar oss till en bättre värld. Aaron trodde på ifrågasättande, att fråga varför, och att inte nöja sig med det som är. Ifrågasätt på ditt vis.

För jag tror på en bättre värld, liksom Aaron. Genom hela dokumentären är det budskapet som lyser klarast, en oerhört stark drivkraft att göra gott och att bidra till att göra världen bättre. Där tar nog likheterna slut, för på intet vis vill jag mäta mig med hans briljans. Fast det behöver jag inte heller, på sätt och vis. För vi behövs alla. Det finns något unikt i varje individ, och det är när det unika används för att skapa en bättre och mer kärleksfull värld som vi verkligen kan levla upp, som individer OCH samhälle.

Aaron trodde på ifrågasättande, att fråga varför, och att inte nöja sig med det som är. Han ifrågasatte, på sitt vis. Jag gråter när jag ser denna berättelse, men stärks också. Stärks i min fasta tro på att det går att förändra, att det finns en enorm kraft i att fråga varför, att en individ kan göra skillnad, och att vi alla behövs.

Min uppmaning till dig är att ifrågasätta på ditt vis, så lovar jag att göra det på mitt. Deal?