Etikettarkiv: life

On compassion

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compassion

Continuing my collaboration with Sus and her marvelous ladies, prompted by a query from my coach on yesterday’s doodle on judgement. She read what I’d written and added: …and practice self-compassion for our sweet, humble humanity when we notice we have ”fallen into judgment” yet again….

She continued with wondering what my compassion sketch would look like, and that thought crept into my conscious mind during this morning’s meditation. So I brought out my IPad, Paper and Pen, and started doodling. A few botched attempts, and then I sent the text above out into MIX. Send a note to Sus asking if she was up for another collaboration. She said she’d gladly give it a go, and immediately got it right, with little Miss Balancing-Act above.

That’s what it can feel like for me, balancing in life. Putting one feet out in front of me, not knowing if I’ll wobble and fall, or stand steady, ready for the next foot to move ahead. But the real balancing act is about meeting both situations (the wobbly as well as the steady journey ahead) with compassion, for me, and for everyone else.

Realizing how I’m not the only one stumbling through life – occasionally falling down, sometimes in a flow – but this goes for everyone. We are all balancing our way through life. All of us.

Now, there’s a thought to sit with…

Breeze against my cheeks

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Went for a slow walk. Actually, I’ve almost forgotten how to walk fast. Me and my family have been in training to revert to the way we humans are supposed to move, in sync with the ground, rather than opposing it with every step. Tommy Olausson of Runfeeling have been helping us. It’s a process of unlearning the old ways of attacking the ground, and learning a new way, the way of the child actually, forgotten since years and years.

And I’ve been practicing. I’ve added a few of the calf-strengthening exercises to my daily Seven-routine. And I try to walk very deliberately, trying to avoid stomping around, and rather meeting the ground gently. As I’ve become more and more aware of how hurtful it is for my body to stomp around, my walking pace has slowed down.

Yesterday I had to walk a bit faster to avoid getting late for a ferry ride, and it’s like I’ve forgotten how to do it. I guess the reason is mostly because I haven’t learned the skill of gentle walking fully yet, and when I’ve got that down, I’ll be better able to up my tempo while still meeting the ground without jolting all the joints of my body. But so far, if I need to walk faster, it’s very easy to go back to my old way of walking, heel hard on the ground. Cushioned by sneakers, enabling me to continue battering my joints, step by step.But here’s a tip: Put your fingers in your ears, blocking outside sound. And then walk. Normal. I promise you’ll get a shock from hearing the jolt when your heel hits the ground! Then try to walk without making any internal sound. And then call Tommy, to make sure you learn properly!

gentle breezeAnyway, returning to the slow walk of the evening. I stopped to take a photo of the long grass with wild blooming flowers, and heard the birds singing as well. Stood still, closed my eyes, and just took it all in. The sounds. The smell. The faint breeze against my cheeks.

As I am slowing down to the speed of life, I notice more both within me, and outside me. And as I notice more, I enjoy life more than before. It get’s richer, fuller, more vibrant.

When did you last feel the breeze against your cheeks?

Podcast 25/52 – a punch in the nose

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Oops, I forgot. Sundays is my recommend-a-podcast-day here on the blog, and I simply forgot. Luckily, I can make up for it today. And I will make it up by giving you a punch in the nose… sort of. The one doing the punching is life though, and not me.

BoldomaticPost_Life-is-a-contact-sport-Its-aJonathan Fields runs Good Life Project, which is one of my top three podcasts (accompanied by On Being and One You Feed), and I often listen more than once to them. This specific pod first emerged as a blog post and if you don’t have 6 minutes to listen, take the time to read it. It’s well worth it!

So here’s Jonathan with a short riff on how life is a contact sport. If I am so afraid of what the contact might result in perhaps I also shirk away from life itself. I mean, in life, the occasional bruise and blister is certain to occur, and I might be unlucky enough to get a concussion or a broken bone, but I also might not. I don’t know in advance, do I?

Hiding, in a state of non-living, afraid of what might or might not happen if I engage. Desiring a warm welcoming hug. Dreading being punched in the nose.
And when dread and fear outgrows that which I desire and want, inaction is the likely outcome.

Is there anything more sad than a life not lived, on account of fear?

Dance through life

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During a coaching session last week with my coach, she said:

Dance with whatever knocks at your door.

It’s a phrase someone had told her once, I believe, and it hit me hard. In a good way, I might add.

The way I see it, I don’t control what comes knocking on my door. Chance, fate, serendipity, accident, coincidence…. whatever you want to call it, I don’t have control over it. But I can chose to dance with it, whatever it is. That’s a choice I have. It might not be my preferred dance partner, it might not be the dance of my choice, but regardless of that, I can dance with it.

dance with whateverI get to dance.

That’s what I realized during that coaching session.
I get to dance. With whatever comes knocking at my door. And I love to dance. I really really love it, so thinking about life in this way, that I get to dance with whatever comes knocking on my door, makes me all tingly inside. I can dance through life!

Life doesn’t get much better than that, does it?

Everchanging.

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everchangingWe are made to love, to live, to create, to laugh, to cry, to eat, to sleep, to connect, to caress, to be and to do. Journal

In a wonderful mix. Ever-changing.

The Headspace meditation series on CHANGE has really helped me become even more aware of the ever-changing state of mind and body. I often meditate lying down (Heresy!, I hear you say… but hey, whatever works right?). And then I observe that my neck is tense. So I relax, letting my head sink down into the pillow. Continue with the meditation. And all of a sudden my neck is tense again. So I relax. Again. And so it continues.

So far I’ve never been able to spot the moment when I begin to tense up in my neck. It’s just suddenly tense. Even though I know that it’s not like that. There is a beginning to that sensation, and perhaps, with raised awareness I will be able to spot it. One day. Some day. Perhaps. Or perhaps not.

Everchanging. Isn’t that fascinating?

PS – I have three months of free access to Headspace to gift someone. I was thinking I’d give it away to one of my blog readers. Interested? I really want it to come to good use, and Headspace has a ten day free trial, so please download the app and try it out. If, after your trial, you are committed to using it for another three months, give me a holler. Ok?

A girl’s best friend

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Diamonds right, that’s what you thought I’d blog about? Well. No. That’s a load of crock. Diamonds cannot be the best friend of anyone.

And really, I am misleading you. Because that’s not what I want to talk about. Rather it’s the best friends of a coach I’m curious about, and taking an even larger view on it, these are probably the best friends any human being can have! All of ‘em, including you, although it might not be something you are concious of.

So, anyway, as a coach, and as a human being, I have three best friends:

Questions – great questions can sometimes totally flip a client, as it can be an invitation to an insight. New bubbles of conciousness opens up in a flash moment.

Silence – I no longer have the urge to avoid silence, needing to speak the moment it goes quiet. No. Nowadays I love silence. It’s a great help, and again, by keeping silent, sometimes that can be an invite to a turning point. Accepting the silence without the nagging desire to fill it with something, just being with it, in it. Magic!

Mind – this is the greatest one of them all really. Because this is where insights come from. This is where original though come from. This is the one I listen for, and sometimes it sparks insights that strike like lightning, out of blue sky. Sometimes much more subtle, wispering ever so quietly, so the only way to pick up on it is by being very quiet with sharp ears.

serve

So these three are the best friends I’ve got, questions, silence and mind, all working together to create the best life and world there can be. This is how I can serve my coaching clients the best way I know, and it’s also my contribution to creating a more loving world.

What are your best friends, for serving yourself, your surroundings and the world?

Au revoir!

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Have two friends, very dear to my heart, that are embarking upon a grand adventure on November 7th. Or rather, about a year ago or so, they actually set the ball rolling, that has led to the point of them selling their house, packing up all their stuff, to head south in not even two weeks time.

Wivan

Last night they had an Au revoir-get together for friends and neighbors at a really cosy restaurant in Malmö, and I went of course. To hug, get a bit teary eyed, hug some more, have dinner, talk to interesting people – old and new acquiantances – and get to say Au revoir to Wivan and Anders.

My life is enriched thanks to their courage to explore space – both inner and outer – and to share their discoveries with me, and us all, for instance through their blog LIVE FULLY TODAY.

Wivan and Anders, know that I love and honor you, and bless the day our paths crossed!

Witnessing the inner and outer journey of these two truly extra ordinary souls, is an inspiration. And it makes me wonder what is possible in my life, that today seems totally impossible. I’m curious to find out! Are you?

It’s just a ride!

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Life is just a ride.

Words spoken by Bill Hicks 20 odd years ago, but their power surely hasn’t diminished. Because life truly is just a ride! And if you don’t believe me, look for yourself:

Or if you’d rather read, here’s a transcript as well:

The world is like a ride at an amusement park,
and when you choose to go on it,
you think it’s real,
because that’s how powerful our minds are.
And the ride goes up and down and round and round
and it has thrills and chills
and it’s very brightly colored
and it’s very loud.
And it’s fun, for a while.

Some people have been on the ride for a long time,
and they begin to question:
‘Is this real? Or is this just a ride?’
And other people have remembered,
and they come back to us and they say
‘Hey! Don’t worry, don’t be afraid – ever – because…
this is just a ride.’
And we kill those people.
‘Shut him up! We have a lot invested in this ride!
Shut him up!
Look at my furrows of worry;
look at my big bank account, and my family.
This has to be real.
‘It’s just a ride.
But we always kill those good guys
who try and tell us that — ever notice that? —
and we let the demons run amok.
But it doesn’t matter, because…
it’s just a ride, and we can change it
any time we want.
It’s only a choice.
No effort.
No worry.
No job.
No savings and money.
Just a choice, right now,
between fear and love.
The eyes of fear want you
to put bigger locks on your door,
buy bigger guns, close yourself off.
The eyes of love, instead,
see all of us as One.

Here’s what we can do
to change the world, right now,
into a better ride.
Take all that money
we spend on weapons and defense each year
and, instead, spend it
feeding, clothing and educating
the poor of the world,
which it would do many times over —
not one human being excluded —
and we can explore space together,
both inner and outer, forever.
In peace.

After watching the documentary The Internet’s own boy of Aaron Schwarz, this is made even more poignant for me. Because isn’t that just what happened? Basically, here’s this guy saying we have it wrong, and the structures of society does whatever they can to make sure he cannot continue to speak his truth, trying desperately, and ultimately succeding, in shutting him up.

It makes me even more determined though, to continue to explore space, inner and outer, because that’s where I can find my truths. And so I want to ask you, wanna explore with me?

My greatest teacher

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Today my daughter turns fifteen. Fifteen years ago my life had just turned upside down as me and my then husband split up just five weeks before Alma was born. In all that turmoil, there was one thing which was rock solid regardless of the spinning motion of the world around me, and that was becoming a mother to this little person, who turned out to be Alma (whose name means soul in Spanish).Darling girl

As time went by, the turmoil slowly resided, and everyday life kicked in as we created a life together. Over time, our lives have taken new turns leading us to where we are at today. And when I look at where I am at, as a human being, knowing and looking within myself, Alma has been a pivotal person for my personal development.

Beloved AlmaSo I thank you Alma, for being my greatest teacher. I’ve learned so much together with you, and when I first started to look within myself, being the best mother to you that I am capable of being was definitely a motivating factor for me.

Besides learning a lot from being your mother, I also have a lot of fun with you, and I truly look forward to having a lot more fun with you in the days, months and years ahead.

Being a part of each others lives also means we get to ride the high’s and low’s of life together, and I cherish all of it, as it makes life so much richer. I wouldn’t trade being your mother for anything in the world.

Loka Brunn

Happy birthday, my beloved Alma!

I love you, and I am grateful every day for having you in my life. ❤

 

Constant comparisons

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How much comparison do you do in a normal day? I know I do a lot of it. I think mostly out of habit. Perhaps also due to the natural tendency the brain has of putting things in boxes in order to know how to relate to it.

Anyway, I think a lot about this constant game (hunt?) for comparison that goes on in life all the time. This game causes me to strive to be better, more worthy, smarter, with bigger insights, better grades and so on. All in comparison with someone else, someone else who will then fall beneath me, in the race to the top of the game. I can get caught up in it just like the rest of us. But does it serve me?

Comparing

And really there is no reason to compare. I am already all I am – I’m like the sun behind the clouds, always there regardless if my splendor shines through in a specific moment or not – and why should I compare one sun to another?!

How does this habit of comparing influence the way we share bits and pieces of our lives? Today, with social media, sharing snapshots, comments, thoughts from my life is easier than ever. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, RunKeeper, to name but a few. There’s a multitude of ways, and I use a lot of them.

The trick for me is to take part in what my crowd share, and rejoice or empathize with them or cheer them on, all depending on the situation at hand. But to not fall into the trap of comparing and, honestly, degrading my own life and my experiences due to someone elses life ”seeming to be better, bigger, brighter”. It’s a life.

I mean we are used to the pattern in society saying when people share we shall compare… And that’s the pattern I want to challenge, so that you compare when it serves you, not out of habit.

Knowing this still doesn’t stop me from feeling low sometimes, when I fall short in the comparison game. But understanding that it’s a mind game I’m playing, also means that I know, deep down, that the sun is always there. In me. In you. And why should I compare one sun to another unless it really is of value to me?