Månadsarkiv: maj 2014

Happy as only a dog can be!

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On Thursday I am meeting with all my Supercoach Academy-colleagues again, for the third of a total of four long-weekend sessions. This time we’re headed for London, which makes for a nice change, since it means a slightly shorter flight than having to hop across the Atlantic.

During the SCA-weekends we’ve had a playlist shuffling during breaks and such, and Happy with Pharrell Williams has been a given song on that list. And here’s just about the greatest video for that song ever:

I don’t know what you’re made of if you aren’t sitting there with a huge fat grin on your face at this very moment! Right?

En ny vana?

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Ett par morgnar har jag plockat fram miniPaddan och medan den fortfarande är i flight-mode, så har jag öppnat Pages och skrivit. Skrivit av hjärtats lust. Låtit tankarna flöda, hamnat i flow, besökt min vän tystnaden. Ibland blir det bara ett inlägg, ibland flera stycken, men oavsett känns det väldigt skönt att kliva ur sängen efteråt. Det känns som en himla bra start på dagen.

När jag var i USA hos mina vänner Max och Mary, berättade Mary om sin vana att skriva morning pages, dvs, att börja dagen med att skriva tre sidor (eller hur mycket det nu var), oavsett om hon tycker att hon har något att skriva eller inte. Inledningsvis upplevde hon det jobbigt, men efter ett par dagar så kom hon in i det.

20140510-074718.jpgOch det är kanske lite dithän jag är på väg just nu. Att tillåta mig själv att möta tystnaden inom mig, och att utforska den, innan dagens alla bestyr knackar på dörren. Men jag vill inte ritualisera det, egentligen. Jag vill bara göra, bara skriva, i mitt varande. Inte bygga upp behov, tankar, fixa idéer kring hur det ska gå till, och upplevas. Rullgardinerna uppe, eller nere, ska jag vara ensam eller går det an om make, eller sonen, ligger bredvid mig och snusar. Måste jag skriva x sidor, eller kan det bara få bli som det blir?

Tänker att jag skulle vilja att det blir som det blir. Njuter dock av det, i just detta skrivande nu. Då maken åkt till jobbet, sonen kom nedkrypandes i sängvärmen, det är mörkt för rullgardinerna är nere, och jag agerade på skrivarlusten ganska snart efter att jag vaknat till. Men häromdagen kom paddan och lusten fram då jag redan legat i sängen och läst en ganska lång stund, rullgardinerna var uppdragna och endast jag befann mig i rummet. Olika förutsättningar, med ett gemensamt, att jag skriver. Så vill jag ha det. Det känns som en bra vana.

Skriver du regelbundet på något vis?

Drop the agenda

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What happens when you drop all thoughts on having an agenda, and just do this:
* Show up
* Respond to what shows up

These are two points that Michael Neill talk about, and I’ve only recently started to experiment with it. For real. And I can tell you, what I’ve experienced so far makes me want to try this even more, on more occasions. For one thing, coming to a meeting with another human being, without an agenda, without any thoughts on wanting this person as a coaching client, on me knowing what would be the best thing for this person in this instance, on wanting to help or fix this person, means that I am more present to the situation at hand. It means I am not already dead set on how to go about it, what will be the outcome, having fixed goals for what I want to happen, etc. And that really makes it easier to experience touching the silence. It makes the meeting much more real, somehow.

Now. It’s actually not so easy, I’ve discovered. Or, at least, it’s not something I am used to. Quite the opposite. I’m used to being prepared, knowing what to say, what to show, and often times, having a clear agenda as to the desired outcome. And somehow, when I am there, with a clear agenda, the magic is missing. Something’s missing. It falls short, not really living up to its potential. Not fully becoming all in the moment that it could be.

Two other things I’ve noticed about this:
First, I believe I would have a much harder time showing up without an agenda, if it was something I was not certain about, or knowledgeable about, perhaps is more the word for it. That is, if you asked me to go deliver a speech about the state of EUs financial policies and structures, I’d freak out. There is not way I would be able to do that in this manner of showing up. Because I have no clue whatsoever about the financial policies of the European Union. Go find someone else, who knows this stuff, please. But ask me to come talk about my dream of changing the school systems on a global scale by 2020, and I can just show up, and respond to what shows up. Without a doubt. I might not do it that way, but it’s an area where the possibility of it happening is much greater that the first example.

Second, this is not the way society is set up, somehow. When did you last show up, without an agenda? If you go to the doctor, you want the doctor to diagnose you. The doctor meets a patient, with the same agenda, to help the patient. Teachers meet their students with very clear agendas, on What learning should take place, and often times, How. You go to the bank, wanting a loan. Not just to see what shows up. You make a business appointment, wanting to sell your brilliant idea, or to get a hand shake on a joint venture. 20140508-214622.jpgI could think of thousands of these instances, where showing up with an agenda, is what is – mostly – done.

And yet, the magic happens, for me, when I drop it. When I drop the agenda, drop what I WANT to happen (sometimes oh so desperately!), just show up, and respond to what shows up.

Does this make sense to you?

 

The Era of Behaviour

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Have you discovered the RSA? If not, please check it out. I’ve listened to several of their events as podcasts these last weeks, and man are they ever thought provoking and mind boggling! Twice I’ve listened to this RSA event on The Era of Behaviour. It is extremely interesting, and I believe I’ll listen to it several more times. Reflecting. Thinking. Going deeper.

There is a video of the highlights that you can see here, but I urge you to listen to the entire podcast including the Q&As from the audience (including a tweet from my dear friend @LordSillion as well!):

What my head is spinning on right now is, to name a few, spheres of personal vs business, the word How as a noun, value based leadership and elevated behaviour. Many of these things I have spent time reflecting on before as well.

I spend a lot of time on the word Why, and the way Dov Seidman talks about How is in a sense a description of the way I think about Why. For me the How he explains is a How infused with a Why, i.e. a sense of value, of ethics, of a higher reason.

Well, as you can tell, I am not done here. My mind hasn’t settled anywhere, it’s just spinning. So, won’t you please listen to this talk on The Era of Behaviour, and tell me what you think about it? Perhaps your head starts to spin in ways I haven’t even begun to consider yet?

Späckad dag

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Möten idag:
grupp 8:30-10:00
annan grupp 10:30-12
lunchdate 12-13
improviserat solosnack 13:10-13:20
solosnack 13:45-14:15
solosnack 14:30-15:30
walk and talk 16-17
mastermindmöte 17-20

Lite impad av mig själv att jag faktiskt lyckats möta individer åtminstone i de flesta av mötena. Imorgon kommer bli en ljum vårvind i jämförelse, bara två möten inbokade, en walk and talk och ett lunchseminarium!

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Just nu är jag helt dock slut i rutan och känner ett behov av att ladda batterierna. Låter som en plan va?

Den snäva normen

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Vi lever i en värld av problematiserande. Överallt ser jag individer, organisationer, myndigheter, företag som problematiserar. Som har tydliga normer för hur man ska vara, se ut, bete sig, agera. Faller någon utanför normen så problematiserar vi gärna detta. Och gör vårt bästa för att avhjälpa problemet. Fixa det. Lösa det. Få problemet att försvinna.

Och många gånger undrar jag om inte det är vårt tänkande kring problemet som är problemet, snarare än problemet i sig. Har skrivit om det innan. Och det är på något vis som att jag fått upp ögonen för detta, på riktigt, på sistone.

Ponera att någon i din omgivning ”har ett problem”. Är det personen i fråga som upplever det? Eller är det du, och andra runtomkring, som tycker att det där är ett problem? Är det verkligen ett problem? Finns problem på riktigt, eller är det just hur vi tänker kring något som gör att vi uppfattar det så? Blir det ett verkligt problem tack vare att vi tänker problematiserande kring det? Blir det kanske tom till, just av den anledningen?

Jag vet inte jag. När jag började knattra på detta blogginlägg var mina tankar grumliga, och jag upplevde att jag var långt från klarsikt, för jag var mitt uppe i ett sånt här problematiserande skeende. 20140506-173731.jpgSedan dess har det gått ett par veckor, och fast jag fortfarande inte är säker så har jag agerat, och bestämt mig för att inte problematisera. För jag vet inte om det verkligen är ett problem, eller bara ”ett problem” som jag och omgivningen skapar för att det faller utanför ramarna. Något som inte är som det brukar. Ska man då fixa, avhjälpa, återföra till fållan, till normen? Eller ska vi försöka vidga den där förbenat snäva normen?

Touching the silence

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The other week I had a coaching experience that was something else. It touched the silence, and it’s a genuine privilege when that happens. I don’t know if you’ve ever been there? It can happen in any situation, but I’ve personally only noticed it in conversations.

What I notice is that each participant (and it can be more than one, I’ve experience this in larger groups as well) goes quiet. Not necessarily silent, but more quiet. Voices go softer, more quiet, and there is an almost tangible silence to the conversation, there is something else there. If I was religious I’d say God became present, or participating, and in a way, maybe that is just what happens. Only, I believe we all carry ”God” within us. That higher power embodies us all, but we don’t always feel it, experience it, or even remember it’s there.

But we do. And when we touch the silence, that higher power within is very much alive and thriving. This is not something that require a specific setting to come about though, as it’s always there. We have the potential to tap into this higher power at all times, because it’s within us. Always. It’s also what connects us. All of us. At all times.

*giggling a little*

This might come across as though I’ve suddenly been born again, somehow, and you might think all sorts of things about that. But, I don’t care about that, I won’t let my thoughts about what you might or might not think, limit me or my writing. This is my experience and I use this blog as a way to journal, I guess. I journal my experiences, my insights, my ponderings, my questions.

I wrote above that I’ve only experienced this in conversations. 20140501-065402.jpgBut, now that I think about it, that’s not true. I just realized it to being akin to the feeling of flow. And flow is something that I’ve experience by myself many times. I don’t always remember instances of flow, but since I’ve been out flying quite a lot this year, I have noticed that I do tend to end up in flow, on planes, when I bring out my miniPad and write blog posts. Times just wiz by, and I am left with a number of journal-entries/blog posts. Call it whatever you may. But in one sense, they represent moments of me touching the silence, capturing it onto paper, saving them for posterity. Like photographs. A snapshot of my state of mind, at that very moment.

Have you experienced touching the silence, and if so, would you please tell me about it? I’d love to know if this way of describing it resonates with you?

 

Library @ Tallinn airport

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Just beside my gate there was a library, at the Tallinn airport. I got curious already when I flew in to Tallinn, but didn’t take time to investigate then. But once I was checked in and had passed thru security, I had an hour to kill, so I got to take as close look at it. And yet again, I got even more proof that this really is the world’s cosiest airport. Check it out yourself:

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20140416-091803.jpgAgain, I must say this is a really nice idea, and they even open up for travelers to share their experiences and books. I know the concept of sharing books in public places isn’t an original one. But I haven’t seen it in an airport before, have you?

Pizza to die for

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20140415-215714.jpgOn my final day in New York, I went with my friend Rachel to Grand Central Terminal to see her off on her way home. It’s an amazing building, finished in 1913. Walked back to the hotel, and after attending my podcall for Supercoach Academy, I got ready to head out for the last hours of New York City of that specific trip, that is.

I decided to go for lunch at Tavola, the Italian restaurant close to our venue, where we had our pod lunch last week. I had the best pizza of my life then, and I felt like taking a raincheck. Chose a different pizza this time around though, but boy, was it good!

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As you can see, I’m not the only one writing about Tavola, However, I’m pretty sure my blog post won’t cause such a crowd as the WSJ-article apparently did. The place was jam smacked, but I managed to get a spot at the bar.

20140415-215013.jpgI am not the best at eating out by myself though, I get kind of self-concious, and feel a bit awkward and disconnected. But at least I didn’t let that feeling stop me from having a great NY-send off lunch! At my house it’s not an issue, eating alone, but having people around in a restaurant… I guess this is a great example of how my feelings are a direct result of my thinking. Since I start to think all kinds of weird thoughts like I am probably the only one eating lunch by myself, or I bet the other people here think I’m a strange and weird person not having any lunch company, or Haha, look at her, she’s having lunch all alone, poor thing.

The funny thing is, I bet most people are so into their own experience they are not at all concerned about the other patrons at the restaurant. And if they are, why wouldn’t they just as easily be thinking That pizza she’s eating looks really good, I wonder which kind it is, or Look at her, how nice to treat herself to lunch at this great restaurant, or even I like the brown color of her cardigan.

So, if my feelings are a direct result of my thinking, which they are, and my thinking on eating out are make-belief thought about what others MIGHT be thinking about me, why don’t I make up the latter rather than the former, and skip the feelings of awkwardness and disconnection?

Well, because I don’t control what thoughts come into my head, that’s why. But having spotted these particuar thoughts might mean that they vanish faster next time I head out to dine on my own, to be replaced by the latter version of make-belief.

Do you enjoy eating out by yourself at restaurants?

Doing the right thing?

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Åsa Minoz sent a link on Twitter the other day, as a response to a discussion on whether or not calling oneself PRO or ANTI actually makes any difference. Well, both me and Åsa believe it does make a difference. I am a pro-person myself, getting energized by the possibility to move ahead, to create, to reach something, somewhere. There are anti-people as well, who get equally energized by that position. We complement each other, in my view, and I am not (any more, thank god for that!) an advocate for My way or the highway.

Since I watched the clip that Åsa linked to, I have managed to send it to many people, because it’s just the most eloquent (and funny!) way to describe a system and its parts, so please, give Russ Ackoff 15 minutes, and watch/listen to him talking on Beyond continual improvement:

A few of the gems hidden within this talk, in my view, are these:

”If we have a system of improvement that is directed at improving the parts taken separately, you can be absolutely sure that the performance of the whole will not be improved.”

”Any process improvement effort 20140429-210259.jpgmust be focused on what you want, and not on what you don’t want.”

”Quality ought to contain a notion of value, not merely efficiency. That’s the difference between efficiency and effectiveness. Quality out to be directed at effectiveness. The difference between efficiency and effectiveness is the difference between knowledge and wisdom. And unfortunately, we don’t have enough wisdom to go around.”

Are you busy doing things right or doing the right thing?