#BGT2014

It’s that time of year again, the yearly auditions for Britain’s Got Talent are underways, and the clips on YouTube are viewed over and over at my house.

This is definitely one of my absolute favorites this year:

Now, be sure to watch all the way to the end, because Simon Cowell does something totally surprising!

Hard to resist these two boys, wouldn’t you say?

Sexuality = procreation ?

Now, this isn’t a topic I have written about before, and it’s not something I have given a whole lot of thought to. But all the same, here’s a TED Talk my friend Charlotte Rudenstam (who is passionate and very skilled on this!) shared a while ago, and it really made me think:

So, why did this talk make me think?

Well, because there are so any ruuuuuuules (concerning all aspects of life, not just sexuality) that we believe are True, Necessary, Mandatory to obey and Unquestionable. (Can you tell I am a wee bit frustrated with this??)

Edward Wilson says that we need to understand that human sexuality is first a bonding device and only secondarily procreation. I think that’s true. This matters because our evolved sexuality is in direct conflict with many aspects of the modern world. The contradiction between what we should feel and what we actually do feel generates a huge amount of unnecessary suffering.

Christopher Ryan

By rules I mean both the written rules we are surrounded by, but also the unwritten stuff that seems to be culturally developed in different societies. I understand it makes sense to set rules in a society, that’s not what I’m getting at. But it’s like we set rules, written or unwritten, and then sort of forget the reason for them. And believe that a rule that makes sense for me automatically must make sense – and be adhered to – by everybody. But really – why would it?

Hygienic design

Hygienic design is what I’ve been playing with today, in Westernwald in Germany. It’s the first time I am here. Lovely scenery, check out the view from my hotel:

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My old experience as a hygienic design expert in a machine development project comes in handy in one of the few assignments I still have connecting me to my past professional life. I’ve been a project manager and validation engineer within the Pharma industry for many years, even though I’ve ventured away from that field.

To a large extent it really makes me happy to see that it’s all in the discussion, in meeting people and talking to them. Not telling them what’s right and wrong, because there is no such thing basically. But just to get people to realize the value of putting on hygienic design glasses once in a while (especially if you are working with machine development targeting Life Science).

I like it, because I really don’t like saying this is right, this is wrong anymore. It’s like life, which is seldom black and white, it’s more grey scales really. If I can make these engineers and mechanical designers really get that, and take one or two steps towards a lighter grey, then I’ve done good today.

And can you imagine – I even got applauds when we were finished with the wrap up! That’s a first, for a hygienic design workshop.

Soon I will be driven to the airport, to fly home, and boy am I happy that I don’t have any travel plans for the coming weeks, at least none I am aware of at the moment. I long for home, even though the feeling of home is something I carry within me. You know what I mean?

Breathe in, breathe out

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

That’s a great metaphor for life. And to a large extent it isn’t even a metaphor, because the day I stop breathing in and out, life as I know it, will end.

But I see that I can use this metaphor in many more ways than that one. It’s like it applies to everything.

Sometimes I feel really happy – breathe in.
Then I get superlow – breathe out.

Am in a flow at work – breathe in.
Stuck in a rut, not getting anything done – breathe out.

Can’t believe the wondrous relationships I’m a part of – breathe in.
Everyone around me annoys me to pieces – breathe out.

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This that has really helped me to realize that it – whatever it is – will pass. I can’t inhale or exhale infinitely, and in the same way, being stuck in a rut will not last forever either. And the real magic to this is that I have stopped mentally beating myself up over it. When I was low in the past I did not speak nicely to myself. And that sure didn’t help me out of it, I assure you.

Being accepting and loving towards myself, regardless of my state of mind, helps me to take the up’s and down’s, the in’s and out’s, less seriously. Because it will pass. Regardless.

Does this resonate with you?

 

State of mind

I’ve given a lot of mind to the concept of State of Mind these past days, since a lot of Supercoach Academy 2014 Creation weekend centered around that concept. And today I got to sample it first hand. My brother and I (thank you Mary, I would have written me instead of I there if it wasn’t for your help!) went walking around Ely this morning, taking in the lovely scenery along the Great Ouse river. Not a cloud in the sky, summer temperatures and just a very faint breeze. Marvellous!

We went to The Almonry for a light lunch, and there we were graced with the presence of four absolutely adorable ducklings. (Sorry about the poor state of the pic though!)

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Had a great time, and when we got up to leave I noticed I’d lost the envelope with my British pound notes, that I put in my back pocket when we headed off for the walk. Gone. Probably around £100 in it. Nowhere in sight.

It didn’t affect my state of mind though and I sort of shook my sholders at my brother who cringed a bit when he heard it. He thought we should backtrack a bit, to see if we could find it, and we did. But no envelope. So we headed home again, to get my stuff and head on home.

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And you know what? I really don’t care. And I mean it.

It was obviously a bad idea to keep it in my back pocket, so I won’t do that ever again. And for sure I could have used the money. I don’t normally throw money away.

But still – feeling bad about the loss, beating my self up for being daft enough to keep it in my back pocket where it – apparently – very easily could fall out, imagining all the cool stuff I could have done with it and filling my head with remorse for what will not be… none of that would bring the money back, would it? All it would do would be to keep me in a shitty state of mind.

And I’m not in a shitty state of mind. Am not inclined to push myself into one either. That will come when it comes. And you know what, next time something like this happens to me, my state of mind will greatly influence the way I relate to it. Had I been in a shitty state of mind when I made the discovery, I would have been filled with shame for what I had done, beating myself up over it. But I’m not! And it feels great.

Cause here’s the thing: the state of mind I am currently in, influences the way I perceive the world. If I’m low, the world seems like a shitty place. And that’s how I’ll respond to what happens to me. If I’m high, the world is on my side, and ain’t nothing gonna get me down.

”Oh, so just keep your self in a good state of mind then” you might think? That’s just it though: I can’t control my state of mind. I can’t decide to go from one state to another. It just happens. But knowing that it just happens, knowing that mechanism exist and how it works means I can observe my reactions, drop below them to realise what state of mind I’m in, and from there, perhaps make more sensible decisions. Like refraining from talking, texting, emailing or writing while I am in a really bad state of mind, for instance. Nothing good’s gonna come out of that, I promise. Not until my state of mind shifts.

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And it will. Sooner or later. Knowing it’s a state of mind might just help a new thought come into my head, and in a second, my state of mind can shift. Have you ever experienced this instant shift?

Creation weekend #SCA2014, day 4

And then it came to an end, like all the weekends have. Like all weekends do, since we have decided to create the concept of time and days. Have you ever considered the fact that time is a human creation? Is it really? How do I know this? Hm… lots to think about there!

I am – once again – grateful for having the opportunity to meet all these magnificent people, having them in my life, learning from them, sharing with them, loving them.

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Headed off to Ely to my brother and his family in the afternoon, and have enjoyed an afternoon and evening talking about this and that, including family, travels, SCA2014, his work, Thai politics and the purpose of school. I got a few new insights, like I tend to do when I talk about the purpose of school with people. I like getting insights. Do you?