I miss me

Came home after a full day of meetings.

Went out into the garden.
A run-away hen. Picked her up and lifted her into the coop confinement.
Sun shining brightly. Deep blue sky.
A crispness to the air, typical of the early fall weather.

Apples ripening on the trees.
Some of the leaves of the trees in the garden starting to turn. The mulberry tree in particular, gorgeous yellow-colored leaves.

Spot the last rose in bloom. Cradle its velvety petals in my hands. Pull it towards my face. Inhale deeply, slowly closing my eyes, just drinking it in.

velvety petals

Realize something important.

I miss me.

I’ve been unusually (for me) occupied with work and travels for the past several weeks. Somewhere along the line of these past few years, I’ve gotten used to hanging out much more just with myself, being able to control my own schedule to a larger extent. So after these past weeks, I miss me.

Luckily, tomorrow is my day! Beginning this fall, I’ve set aside a day a week in my calendar that is my day. To do with what I want. If I want to work, I work. If I want to read a book, I read a book. If I want to take a dance walk, I take a dance walk. I make a deliberate attempt to not book any meetings on my days, unless it’s something I really want to do. If I want to… well, I’m sure you get the picture by now.

I so look forward to connecting with myself tomorrow.
Have you ever felt the same? Missing yourself?

Is the universe a friendly place?

I follow Marianne Williamson on Facebook, and stumbled upon this today. I immediately emailed the link to myself, to make sure I wouldn’t forget about it:

”I think the most important question facing humanity is, ‘Is the universe a friendly place?’ This is the first and most basic question all people must answer for themselves. “For if we decide that the universe is an unfriendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to achieve safety and power by creating bigger walls to keep out the unfriendliness and bigger weapons to destroy all that which is unfriendly and I believe that we are getting to a place where technology is powerful enough that we may either completely isolate or destroy ourselves as well in this process.

“If we decide that the universe is neither friendly nor unfriendly and that God is essentially ‘playing dice with the universe’, then we are simply victims to the random toss of the dice and our lives have no real purpose or meaning.

“But if we decide that the universe is a friendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to create tools and models for understanding that universe. Because power and safety will come through understanding its workings and its motives.”

”God does not play dice with the universe,” – Albert Einstein


I’m not sure I’ve always believed the world a friendly place, but I do now. I do, fully…. and yet, sometimes I stumble. It happens that I forget the sun is always there, behind the clouds, and at times like that, the world can seem like a really cold, hard and unfriendly place. I know when I wake up tomorrow, or the day after, that thought will be gone, and a new one, affirming my belief that it IS a friendly place, will pop up. I also know, if I cling to the thought of the world being an unfriendly place, a new thought will take longer to appear.

And truth be told, it’s easier for me nowadays, knowing it’s all thought, to rest in the feeling of the day, whether or not if it makes me feel high or low. But all the same, I’m only human, and right now I sure long for a new thought to pop into my conciousness, because I really really don’t like to hang out in the cold, hard, unfriendly universe at all, do you?