Social media-challenge for the summer

Woke up this morning. Checked my emails and the feeds of my favorite social media channels Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Did my Headspace meditation and then checked the feeds again. And again. And again.

twitter byegonePosted a tweet honoring my wise 15-year old who only checks her social media feeds daily, vowing to do the same. And then I deleted my Twitter app from my IPhone. It used to be situated right next to Skype in my Oh no no! Really?-folder, where there is just a void now.

As I was doing that, I figured, why not go all the way? So I closed the Facebook-tab in Safari (haven’t used the app for a long time on my phone) and reorganized the app’s on my phone to show my shifted focus.

Instagrammed about it, making a public promise to check social media only once daily during the summer. To be clear what I mean about this:
*Check Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Tinybeans at the most once daily.
*I’ll likely Instagram when a lovely photo opportunity comes a-knocking, but won’t check my feed more than once daily. And from Instagram I can post to Facebook and Twitter, which still doesn’t mean I check my feeds.
*I’ll use Buffer to schedule tweets, Facebook and LinkedIn-posts, pushing blog posts, because I’ll still be blogging on a (near) daily basis as well.
*Once my vacation starts for real (a few days to go), I’ll cut down on checking emails as well, likely not checking daily even, but definitely checking my work email at least weekly.
*I don’t include Messenger, iMessage and Viber in this challenge, so if you want to reach me, those are your best options.

There. Now I’m crystal clear what this challenge means for me. And since I posted my Instagram post, I believe a few people have already joined me in this challenge. So I’ll extend it to you as well – do you want to join us?

 

Boys and girls

Boys and girls. Blue versus pink. Cars against dolls. Rowdy or mild-tempered. How we almost expect a teenage boy to have scruffy clothes and stink of sweat, while we would be horrified if it was a teenage girl. Excusing certain behavior with ”boys will be boys”, while expecting girls to help fellow boys in Kindergarten put on gloves, tie their shoes and zip up jackets.

I could go on forever, listing things, habits, colors and much more, that for some reason have been deemed either to be for boys. Or for girls. Men and women too, of course.

I don’t want to do that though.

What I want to do is have you read this article: 10 Words Every Girl Should Learn. And once you’ve done that, you read this article as well: Beating the Toy Aisle Blues (and Pinks).

Read them?

I read them, and went bonkers. Then I stumbled upon this as well:

iwrotehtearticle

Oh. I just remembered another example of the absurd world we live in, as well. I read another article (or a Facebook-update?) the other day, about a lady who had stopped moving over whenever she came upon people when walking, to see what would happen. Guess what she found out? Women move over. Men do to. But not all of them. I think she was up to a count of having collided with 26 men (and zero women), when she shared her observation with the world. And you know what? I actually tried it out the other day, when I was talking a walk in the park close to home. I was walking along, came upon a man coming at me, and I suddenly got it into my head to try it out for myself! We would have collided if he hadn’t moved, which he did, in the last instant. I am grateful for him for moving over, but what I found most interesting was how uncomfortable it felt NOT to move over. Extremely uncomfortable.

So. There I go. I am a person who moves over. Which in itself is not a bad trait, not at all. But it’s interesting, the feeling I got when I didn’t. When I was hell bound on standing my ground so to speak. Makes me think about my own behavior, how much of it which is truly Me, and how much is culturally accepted behaviors I’ve learnt the hard way, which might, or might not, serve me, but which I perform automatically, without giving it any thought. Makes me think of the way of the world, and the culture I am a part of co-creating on a daily basis, moment by moment.

Oh well. There’s plenty do to in the world, to make it a better place, a place where I can be me. Regardless of what that means (within moral and legal constraints of course – unless the law is discriminating itself, which unfortunately is the case in many places where for instance homosexuality is outlawed, just to name but one absurd example). Being me. And a place where you can be you. Period.

So. Here’s a challenge (or rather, many!). For me. Definitely. But perhaps also for you? I’m gonna observe my surroundings for a few days, to see if I can spot this:

BoldomaticPost_Socialized-male-speech-dominan

 

Podcast 10/52 – a pledge and a challenge

“I have no intake at all of any feedback or criticism from anyone who’s not in the arena.”

That’s one of the quotes from this episode of Good Life Project with Brené Brown that really hit home for me: Brené Brown – On Gratitude, Vulnerability and and Courage.

She talks about what type of feedback she’s getting, and how she’s gotten very self knowledgeable as to what type of feedback she’ll even begin to consider to take in. The ones filled with love, with ”you’ve changed my life”, or the even grander ”you’ve saved my life”, she doesn’t want to read. It’s too much for her, and it’s not constructive, in the sense it doesn’t give her anything to work further with. The ones filled with hatred, she’s not looking at, at all, there’s no sense in that, whatsoever. What she does like are the constructive ones, suggesting she look into someone else research, a book or a study she should have included in her own research, and so on.

All of that makes perfect sense to me, but what really hit home was that quote that I shared at the top:

BoldomaticPost_I-have-no-intake-at-all-of-an

What she’s saying there is this: if you are not vulnerable, putting yourself out there, in any way, shape or form, I’m not going to listen to what you have to say about me being vulnerable and putting myself out there.

I remember when I first listened to this episode. I heard what she said. All of a sudden, it made such perfect sense to me! Anyone not daring to be vulnerable, sharing themselves in that honest, open and authentic way (in any kind of arena, in any form, but putting themselves out there!) that Brené herself does so well, is not a good judge/critic of my vulnerability, of me putting myself out there. But if you do put yourself out there, if you are amongst those daring to be vulnerable, I am very interested in taking in what you have to share.

Today, on the International Women’s Day of 2015, that’s the message I want to help spread – if you dare to be vulnerable, then please also dare to reject the criticism and hatred of those who dare not, those who share not. Hatred doesn’t come from those who dare, it doesn’t come from those who share. No, from those on the arena, you will receive love, respect, compassion and empathy.

BoldomaticPost_I-will-dare-to-be-vulnerableSo this is my pledge:
I will dare to be vulnerable.
I will put myself out on the arena.
I will share and be love.

And here’s my challenge to you:
Dare to be vulnerable.
Put yourself out on the arena of your choice.
Share and be love. 

I’m hoping more people will dare to be vulnerable, because I think that’s the way forward to that loving society that I envision. So. Is this a challenge you’re willing to take on?

 

 

We are who we are

We are who we are by Little Mix, my daughters favourite group at the moment:

——————————

”We Are Who We Are”

[Jade:]
Mama, mama, mama made me the way I am
My face, my eyes, someone turn me up, I’m speaking my mind[Leigh-Anne:]
And I, and I, I’ve been wasting a lot of time looking in mirrors
And hating on me, but now I like what I see[All:]
I know, I know, I’ll never be perfect
I know, I know, but I’m gonna work it
Let go, let go, put your new shoes on
The new you onWe are who we are, who we are, pretty’s just a petty word
And I’m gonna shine like a star, cause I’m the only me in this world
Throw away the books and the magazines, I’m never gonna look like a beauty queen
We are who we are, who we are, and I’m just doing me, just doing me
And I’m just doing me, just doing me[Jesy:]
Mama, mama, mama made me the way I am
She told me I should look up on the world with my head held high[Perrie:]
And I, and I, I’ve been wasting a lot of time looking in mirrors
And hating on me, but now I like what I see

[All:]
I know, I know, I’ll never be perfect
I know, I know, but I’m gonna work it
Let go, let go, put your new shoes on
The new you on

We are who we are, who we are, pretty’s just a petty word
And I’m gonna shine like a star, cause I’m the only me in this world
Throw away the books and the magazines, I’m never gonna look like a beauty queen
We are who we are, who we are, and I’m just doing me, just doing me
And I’m just doing me, just doing me

I know, I know, I’ll never be perfect
I know, I know, but I’m gonna work it
Let go, let go, put your new shoes on
The new you on

We are who we are, who we are, pretty’s just a petty word
And I’m gonna shine like a star, cause I’m the only me in this world
Throw away the books and the magazines, I’m never gonna look like a beauty queen
We are who we are, who we are, and I’m just doing me, just doing me

And I’m just doing me, just doing me
And I’m just doing me, just doing me

[Jade:]
And I’m just doing me, just doing me
And I’m just doing me, just doing me

——————————

I made a commitment to myself during the end of the class in London in July. Since then, I am trying to do just that, the ‘I’m just doing me‘-bit. If you’re anything like me, you’ve been holding back. From fear, basically. Regardless of what thought/emotion we might claim is to blame, I believe fear is at the heart of the matter all the time. And since no one else can fill another persons shoes, why not rise to the challenge and do you?

Listen!

Cecilia von Melen sent #skolvåren a link to a TED Talk by Julian Treasure, on five ways to listen better. Cecilia caught on to the idea Julian have that listening should be taught in schools.

It’s a challenge alright, to break the path of less and less listening that we seem to be on, but surely it’s a sound challenge to take on?

Walk and Talk

I am an advocate for Coachwalks as you might have understood – at least if you’ve read some of my blog posts in Swedish. For me, walking while coaching has a whole bunch of benefits, the biggest one being that the physical movement ensure you cannot remain stuck mentally.

Here’s Nilofer Merchant talking about the same concept:

I challenge you to try a walk and talk-meeting, rather than a traditional sit-down-meeting. Up for it?