Oh captain, my captain!

Woke up, checked Twitter and saw a tweet about the death of Robin Williams. Hoped I had misunderstood so I googled but unfortunately, it was not a bizarre joke, but fact.

In honour of this great actor, we’re gathered in the living room in front of Dead Poet Society. Have only watched the first part, but already a favourite line of mine has been spoken:

In my class you will learn to think for yourselves!

Robin Williams was an amazing actor, and several of his movies have touched me deeply in several ways. I remember watching DPS when it was released, and as so many millions of others, loving it. The amazing actor was the part of Robin Williams that I witnessed, but as with each and every one of us, there was more to him, just as there is to us all. We all hold both light and darkness within us.

When life is shining brightly within me, the darkness seems so far away, but really, those two states of mind are just a thought away, aren’t they? And they are neutral, in their origin…. but we make it not be so, unfortunately. We judge the light to be good, something to strive for, a token of success and happiness. The darkness is bad, unworthy of us, a failure. Something to hide, shy away from, avoid at all cost.

At all costs…. and sometimes at too high a price.

Why must it be so? Why do we judge light and darkness thus? What would it take for me, for you, for us, for society, to hold it all, with no – or at least less – judgement? Would that make a difference? Would we then be able to face both light and darkness with less fear? Because both those parts scares us, do they not?

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Oh captain, my captain, may you rest in peace.

Börjat jobba?

Idag börjar många av mina twänner (framför allt de i skolans värld jobba, och i morse skickade jag ut en tweet med en liten uppmaning inför jobbstarten:

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Av responsen att döma så var det där en påminnelse som föll i god jord. Själv smygjobbade jag lite grann förra veckan men denna veckan gläds jag åt att umgås med barnen och släktingar under sista sommarlovsveckan. Ett bra sätt för mig att se till att inte jag rivstartar!

Hur tänker du inför jobbstarten?

Scared for nothing!

Remove that I wrote about being scared shitless about attending The Joyride?

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Well.. The day is nearing its end and it hasn’t been scary at all. It’s been interesting, fascinating, I’ve explored feelings of shame, I’ve danced, I’ve shared, I’ve hugged and I’ve felt love. And this is what I was scared about? Once more I realise the futility of feeling scared for what might happen, for what I believe others will think, and/or for how it will feel.

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I basically never get it right, so why do I keep on believing that fear? Being scared for nothing. Surely I can use my energy in better ways than that?

Tittar mig i spegeln

Tittar mig i spegeln och tycker jag är vacker. Gillar mitt ansikte, mina ögon, att ha halvlångt hår som mjukar upp skarpa drag. Skapar ett fotokollage av sju versioner av mig, instagrammade ögonblick av lycka, av glädje, av kärlek för och till livet:

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Men så börjar tankarna genast vandra vidare. Får jag lov att tycka att jag är vacker? Eller är det förmätet av mig? Raskt landar jag i att jag skiter väl i, du får tycka vad du vill om mig.

Men det tar inte slut där. Nya tankar flyger förbi mitt medvetande och jag snappar upp funderingar som:
Vad är skönhet?
Hur hänger det yttre ihop med det inre?
Är det ett led i att jag verkligen tycker om och accepterar mig själv, i allt högre utsträckning, som gör att jag ens överhuvudtaget vågar skriva att jag tycker jag är vacker?
Hade jag vågat skriva detta för ett halvår sen, ett år sen, för tio år sen?
Och vaddå VÅGAR egentligen?
Varför tror jag att det är modigt att skriva detta?

Tänk vilken snurrig värld jag skapar åt mig själv. För jag är jag. Och jag är vacker. Igår frågade jag vad du älskar med dig, och idag svarar jag själv på den frågan:
Jag älskar allt med mig, mitt ljus, mina skuggor, mitt mod, mina rädslor, mitt inre, mitt yttre, och definitivt det faktum att jag vågar drömma stort!

Vad ser du när du tittar dig i spegeln?

Camp I CAN

Idag hämtade jag hem dotra från Camp I CAN med DNG360-gänget med Pamela von Sabljar i spetsen. Fem dagar av awesomeness och livsglädje, och med tanke på hur mycket jag njöt av varje minut av den två-timmars Camp BITESIZE som föräldrar och nyfikna bjöds in till, som avslutning och provsmakning, så förvånas jag inte av dotras reaktion på upplevelsen.

i måndags när jag släppte av henne, nyfiken och öppen för vad som komma skulle, så hittade jag detta inne på toalettspegeln:

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Och idag när jag hämtade henne ville hon inte att lägret skulle ta slut. Underbar känsla! Jag ser, hör, upplever en dotter som varit med om något extraordinärt och avgörande. Har en känsla att hennes svar på frågan på toalettspegeln skulle skilja sig stort – till gagn för henne själv och hennes omgivning – från i måndags till idag.

Vad älskar Du med dig?

On war

Via Troed Troedson I found this interview with Hermann Göring:
Interview with Gustave Gilbert in Göring’s jail cell during the Nuremberg War Crimes Trials (18 April 1946).

Göring: Why, of course, the people don’t want war. Why would some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best that he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece? Naturally, the common people don’t want war; neither in Russia nor in England nor in America, nor for that matter in Germany.

That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship or a Parliament or a Communist dictatorship.

Gilbert: There is one difference. In a democracy, the people have some say in the matter through their elected representatives, and in the United States only Congress can declare wars.

Göring: Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country.

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Isn’t it scary how much truth there is to this quote, even today? It really makes me realize the importance of the leaders we chose to vote for/believe in/trust with governing our countries.

How can we – the people, the masses – be so easily swayed from love and acceptance towards hatred and violence? Why is it so hard to stay in the place of love, the space where we are one, and not divided into warring factions?

Why?

Divided or not?

Thomas de Ming shared a YouTube clip on his Facebook-page, of Parker J Palmer talking about living a divided life. I got curious about it, and just watched it. I suggest you do to:

Isn’t it funny how life unfolds? Yesterday I wrote about Mind – Body – Spirit scaring me shitless, and I woke early this morning with a feeling that I wanted to come down and write more about this. Last night I saw the post linking to this clip, but didn’t watch it, so the first thing I did this morning, was to watch it. And there it was. Another nudge to live my life fully, as me, 100%, and to shine the light at the voids I still have within me. The voids that are really nothing more than places I have yet to discover, and perhaps even more importantly, accept.

I live a divided life, to some extent, but much less so than just a few years ago. I’ve found that the less divided my life is, the greater the quality of life I live is. What about you? Do you live a divided life? If so – are you happy with that? Or would you like to explore living life more fully as you, 100 %?

Mind, Body and Spirit – scaring the shit out of me!

I’ve gotten to be fairly good friends with my Mind, and my Spirit, and I greatly enjoy them both these days. But the Body-part, that’s still somewhat of a struggle for me, in more ways than one.

There’s the physical part of Body. Strength, flexibility, stamina, graceful movement. I would be very surprised if anyone would describe me as a ”physical person” in that way. I sure don’t.

There’s also the sensual/sexual part of the Body, of course very intimately linked with both Mind and Spirit. Now, I get flustered and feel ashamed just writing this, not knowing where to go next, not knowing where I dare go next. This scares the shit out of me, but acknowledging it is a step in the right direction I believe.

Now, I’ve vowed to myself to be more fully me, 100 %. But as I just wrote, there’s this huge part of me – within Mind, Body & Spirit – that I am afraid to look at, and that I’d really rather you not know about. Because of that, and since I feel so uncomfortable about this, I’m gonna go to the introductory day of The Joyride Malmö – love in action on Sunday. Stepping without hesitation into the next inch of the unknown, facing my fears…

20140805-172355-62635455.jpgRegardless if you’re like me with a void here or there, or totally at peace with all parts of you, Mind – Body – Spirit, I’d love to see some familiar faces there. So why don’t you join me?

Duolingo

While on vacation in the UK, my brother who lives there, told us about the app/website Duolingo, which he’s using to refresh his French. Me and my daughter Alma downloaded the app, and I got started on German, and Alma on Spanish. We were hooked.

Then we came home, and my son was so eager to download the app onto the kids IPad that we barely got the luggage inside the front door before he had the IPad in hand, demanding help.

He started off with Italian, and man, it’s amazing to see. He asked me if I’d help him, and while I told him the truth that his Italian surely was way better than mine after a day with the language course, he crawled up beside me in the sofa. And while I couldn’t actually help him in any way, I could provide some moral support and also get totally amazed.

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Then today he decided he wanted to learn German instead (after telling me and his father that he want’s to go to Germany for the fall break! Last year we did India, this year he want’s Germany.), so he switched language in the app and set off to gather points in the morning. I could hear the German phrases coming from the vicinity of the kitchen table, but then all of a sudden there was some Spanish as well… turns out my husband also got curious enough to download the app and start a Spanish course.

Have to say thanks to my brother for setting us all off on a wild dash for improved language-skills!

Being a glorious day, we all went to the deep sea swimming-place and were away all day, with my sons best friend tagging along as well. But when we got home, guess what happened? My son and his best friend curled up on the sofa, and immediately started to practice their German. AND their English, which is an added bonus!

We’re Swedish but the app works with English as the base language so here were these two 10-year old boys discussing German and English verbs, nouns, spelling, grammar, scoring points as they went along.

Absolutely fascinating to witness – talk about there being a lot of joy in learning! Or rather, there sure can be a lot of joy in learning. And that’s the way it should be, in my view. Do you agree or disagree with that?