Podcast 10/52 – a pledge and a challenge

“I have no intake at all of any feedback or criticism from anyone who’s not in the arena.”

That’s one of the quotes from this episode of Good Life Project with Brené Brown that really hit home for me: Brené Brown – On Gratitude, Vulnerability and and Courage.

She talks about what type of feedback she’s getting, and how she’s gotten very self knowledgeable as to what type of feedback she’ll even begin to consider to take in. The ones filled with love, with ”you’ve changed my life”, or the even grander ”you’ve saved my life”, she doesn’t want to read. It’s too much for her, and it’s not constructive, in the sense it doesn’t give her anything to work further with. The ones filled with hatred, she’s not looking at, at all, there’s no sense in that, whatsoever. What she does like are the constructive ones, suggesting she look into someone else research, a book or a study she should have included in her own research, and so on.

All of that makes perfect sense to me, but what really hit home was that quote that I shared at the top:

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What she’s saying there is this: if you are not vulnerable, putting yourself out there, in any way, shape or form, I’m not going to listen to what you have to say about me being vulnerable and putting myself out there.

I remember when I first listened to this episode. I heard what she said. All of a sudden, it made such perfect sense to me! Anyone not daring to be vulnerable, sharing themselves in that honest, open and authentic way (in any kind of arena, in any form, but putting themselves out there!) that Brené herself does so well, is not a good judge/critic of my vulnerability, of me putting myself out there. But if you do put yourself out there, if you are amongst those daring to be vulnerable, I am very interested in taking in what you have to share.

Today, on the International Women’s Day of 2015, that’s the message I want to help spread – if you dare to be vulnerable, then please also dare to reject the criticism and hatred of those who dare not, those who share not. Hatred doesn’t come from those who dare, it doesn’t come from those who share. No, from those on the arena, you will receive love, respect, compassion and empathy.

BoldomaticPost_I-will-dare-to-be-vulnerableSo this is my pledge:
I will dare to be vulnerable.
I will put myself out on the arena.
I will share and be love.

And here’s my challenge to you:
Dare to be vulnerable.
Put yourself out on the arena of your choice.
Share and be love. 

I’m hoping more people will dare to be vulnerable, because I think that’s the way forward to that loving society that I envision. So. Is this a challenge you’re willing to take on?

 

 

On war

Via Troed Troedson I found this interview with Hermann Göring:
Interview with Gustave Gilbert in Göring’s jail cell during the Nuremberg War Crimes Trials (18 April 1946).

Göring: Why, of course, the people don’t want war. Why would some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best that he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece? Naturally, the common people don’t want war; neither in Russia nor in England nor in America, nor for that matter in Germany.

That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship or a Parliament or a Communist dictatorship.

Gilbert: There is one difference. In a democracy, the people have some say in the matter through their elected representatives, and in the United States only Congress can declare wars.

Göring: Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country.

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Isn’t it scary how much truth there is to this quote, even today? It really makes me realize the importance of the leaders we chose to vote for/believe in/trust with governing our countries.

How can we – the people, the masses – be so easily swayed from love and acceptance towards hatred and violence? Why is it so hard to stay in the place of love, the space where we are one, and not divided into warring factions?

Why?

On hatred

Do you hate?

If yes – what do you hate? Individuals? Groups of people? Food? Music? Societal structures and organizations? Behaviors? Weather? Disease? War? A sports team?

If no – how come? Why not hate?

I have stopped hating. I used to use the word a lot and also felt hatred but…
*shakes my head* it just doesn’t do me any good.

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Have become more and more aware of the power the word contains, as well as the feelings and thoughts behind it, so that I very seldom, if ever, feel that hate is the word/emotion I am after.

I have a hard time to see that it serves me to hate. Rather, it creates problems all around.

“Hate, it has caused a lot of problems in the world,
but has not solved one yet.” – Maya Angelou

So I go for Maya Angelou’s take on hatred, as it sure doesn’t help to make the world a better place. And I strive towards creating a world that works!

The weird thing is, when someone says they hate one thing or the other – if questioned, they almost always back down, saying they don’t really mean hate. So why use the word hate at all?

Do you hate?