Kategoriarkiv: 3P

Fear begets fear

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Svara

In the movie Bowling for Columbine by Michael Moore there is a short clip on fear, making a very poignant statement on the fact that fear begets fear. See for yourself:

It’s a dreadful story, but really…. what it says is this:

Within the reality of fear, fear is what you will get.

And that might not make a whole lot of sense, but let me try to put it closer to home.

Ever lost your keys? You search and search for them, checking in bags, pockets, the laundry basket, inside cupboards and drawers, in the ceramic bowl where you normally put them…. but to no avail. Gone. Nowhere to be found.

Know the feeling?

And then, all of a sudden…. your friend/spouse/child looks in the ceramic bowl, and says Here they are!

And you are dumbfounded. HOW is it possible? I LOOKED THERE, I promise I did.

Or, second scenario when your friend/spouse/child isn’t around, and you search and search, and finally give up. You go do something else for a while, and then go to pick up another key from the bowl…. and lo and behold, there the lost keys are as well!

And you are dumbfounded. HOW is it possible? I LOOKED THERE, I promise I did.

Ever experienced something similar to this?

This is the thing:
Within the reality of ”my keys are lost”, your keys are lost. Within that reality, you can’t find them. But within the reality of your friend/spouse/child your keys weren’t lost, they were simply not found. And within that reality, the keys are easier (unless you’ve really lost them) to find. And the same goes for the second scenario; when you leave the ”lost keys-reality”, you enter another reality where they can be found.

The same goes with fear. Within the reality of I am so afraid, you will not find comfort, safety and security. You need to shift from that reality to another one, where comfort, safety and security can be had. The good news about that is that just as the keys could be found from another reality, it’s entirely possible for us to switch realities (if you object to reality being used here, call is state of mind, call it my experience of life, call it the human experience), because the reality I experience is created by the feelings coming from the thought in my head.

And the switch only have one thing stopping it from happening, and that is if I cling for dear life to the current one. That very effectively stops a new thought (and hence a possible new reality) from showing up, and then I’m stuck.

So you have a choice: stick to the existing reality of the problem you’re currently facing, or let it go, and have a possibility to find whatever you are looking for?

Held in a space of love

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Being held in a space of love, that beats most things I’ve experienced. That’s what a great coach (for me) will do. And that’s what I experience at Supercoach Academy as well. space of loveBeing held in a space of love opens up for discovery of things within that I didn’t know were there to find. It opens for grabbing onto a story of mine, shining some light on it, and watching it dissolve into nothingness, because that’s what stories are. They really are nothing, but for the fact that we place meaning onto them. They are a thought, that we believe to be real, and that’s why they seem ream. But they are a thought, and it’s only when I ”have something on that thought” that it seems real to me.

During the last weekend with SCA2014, I was listening to a chat between Michael Neill and George Pransky, when George said something to the effect of:
It’s the meaning you put on ”it”, that is causing your distress.

(”It” being whatever it is you put meaning to, whatever it is you are dicussing, bringing up, getting stuck on.)

I can see this in my life, nowadays. I can see myself when I am in distress, and know where that feeling comes from. It doesn’t mean I don’t experience distress anymore. Not at all! That happens, all the time, because it’s part of the human experience on earth. It happens to us all. Period. But I know where my distress is coming from, and knowing that makes it seem slightly less real for me. It makes me not take that distress as Fact, as something that Must be. It makes me see the distress as a feeling I am experiencing, because I have a thought of some sort. And I feel the feeling. That’s a given. But I no longer believe that feeling to be a Must. It’s not a feeling that is inevitable. It’s not a feeling which is the only true response given the situation. It’s A feeling. Not THE feeling.

And when I am held in a space of love, I can begin to question my beliefs, question the stories I’m telling myself to be real. And that process is a miraculous journey, that free’s me up, expands me, makes it possible to let go of restrictions that don’t serve me (anymore), and mostly, for me, it means my energy is not wasted on conserving the stories of my life. The energy can be used for much greater thing. I don’t have to waste energy trying to maintain a status quo that is a construct of my thinking, instead the energy can be used, in the moment, for whatever want’s to show up, whatever wants to happen.

Have you ever been held in a space of love?

Thoughts aren’t Truth!

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Found a great quote by Byron Katie on Facebook:
Byron KatieAnd I have to say, that’s one very wise woman. Because thoughts are just that, thoughts, and not Truth, which I have been prone to believe before. But they are not instructions that you have to follow, they just are. Period.

Sometimes I act on my thoughts, and sometimes I don’t, based on what serves me best in the moment. But overall, just to know, in my heart, that I do not have to believe, and act, upon the thoughts that come into my head was been the greatest revelation in my life.

And you know what, that might seem like I’ve been totally dense until I got this, and I might well have been, but while I’ve always know I don’t have to believe, and act, upon obviously ”crazy thoughts” such as ”Try jumping off the cliff to see if you can fly” or perhaps ”I wonder what it would be like to kiss that smashingly magnificent-looking perfect stranger across the road”, I really didn’t know I didn’t have to believe, and act, upon the more unassuming – but oh so insidious! – thoughts such as ”Well, so everyone says you’ve done a good job today, but really, you could really have done a bit more! I’m dissapointed in you! You’d better get your act together.” or something like ”You didn’t remember to remind your child about bringing gym clothes to school today, so you’re obviously a bad mother and really need to shape up this parenting stuff, or else…”.

But I don’t have to take either as truth. Because they are not. They just are. What relationship do you have with thoughts?

Panic attacks?

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Svara

Just checked out the Three principles movies-website and watched a short clip with Dr Bill Pettit talking about panic attacks. Now, seriously, during the 6 minutes of the clip, I learned a lot of things I had no clue about. But it does make sense to me. Not least, because I know how successful Dr Pettit has been with clients. But honestly, listening to him it’s almost as if it can’t be this easy. Surely there has to be more hard work to it, I start to think, and then I remember that humans are equipped with both a physical and a psychological immune system, so why should it be harder? No reason really!

Interested yet?

Watch for yourself:

Did you learn anything new?