Etikettarkiv: Good life project

Podcast 25/52 – a punch in the nose

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Oops, I forgot. Sundays is my recommend-a-podcast-day here on the blog, and I simply forgot. Luckily, I can make up for it today. And I will make it up by giving you a punch in the nose… sort of. The one doing the punching is life though, and not me.

BoldomaticPost_Life-is-a-contact-sport-Its-aJonathan Fields runs Good Life Project, which is one of my top three podcasts (accompanied by On Being and One You Feed), and I often listen more than once to them. This specific pod first emerged as a blog post and if you don’t have 6 minutes to listen, take the time to read it. It’s well worth it!

So here’s Jonathan with a short riff on how life is a contact sport. If I am so afraid of what the contact might result in perhaps I also shirk away from life itself. I mean, in life, the occasional bruise and blister is certain to occur, and I might be unlucky enough to get a concussion or a broken bone, but I also might not. I don’t know in advance, do I?

Hiding, in a state of non-living, afraid of what might or might not happen if I engage. Desiring a warm welcoming hug. Dreading being punched in the nose.
And when dread and fear outgrows that which I desire and want, inaction is the likely outcome.

Is there anything more sad than a life not lived, on account of fear?

Podcast 22/52 – Life-sucking lies?

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I just loved this episode from Good Life Project with Jonathan Fields, on the number one life-sucking lies that many many people listen to… me included!

Can you figure out what the number one life-sucking lie we all tell ourselves is?

I don’t have time. 

Feel familiar? Oh how many times I’ve stated that I don’t have time. But, alas, it isn’t a common phrase in my vocabulary any more. Honestly. I’ve experimented with removing phrases like I don’t have time, I’m so busy, I just don’t have space for anything else, and the like. Included in that is also a choice to replace Musts and Shoulds with Wants.

And guess what? It actually does make a difference for me. Being specific with what I want to do, as opposed to stating what I must do, does make a huge difference in how I approach that which I chose to do.

BoldomaticPost_It-s-not-the-box-that-societyIn this short GLP Riff Jonathan Fields talks about a few different ways to look at this life-sucking lie, and since I found it valuable, I take him up on his request at the end, by sharing it with you in the hope that you also find it valuable. Do you?

 

Podcast 10/52 – a pledge and a challenge

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“I have no intake at all of any feedback or criticism from anyone who’s not in the arena.”

That’s one of the quotes from this episode of Good Life Project with Brené Brown that really hit home for me: Brené Brown – On Gratitude, Vulnerability and and Courage.

She talks about what type of feedback she’s getting, and how she’s gotten very self knowledgeable as to what type of feedback she’ll even begin to consider to take in. The ones filled with love, with ”you’ve changed my life”, or the even grander ”you’ve saved my life”, she doesn’t want to read. It’s too much for her, and it’s not constructive, in the sense it doesn’t give her anything to work further with. The ones filled with hatred, she’s not looking at, at all, there’s no sense in that, whatsoever. What she does like are the constructive ones, suggesting she look into someone else research, a book or a study she should have included in her own research, and so on.

All of that makes perfect sense to me, but what really hit home was that quote that I shared at the top:

BoldomaticPost_I-have-no-intake-at-all-of-an

What she’s saying there is this: if you are not vulnerable, putting yourself out there, in any way, shape or form, I’m not going to listen to what you have to say about me being vulnerable and putting myself out there.

I remember when I first listened to this episode. I heard what she said. All of a sudden, it made such perfect sense to me! Anyone not daring to be vulnerable, sharing themselves in that honest, open and authentic way (in any kind of arena, in any form, but putting themselves out there!) that Brené herself does so well, is not a good judge/critic of my vulnerability, of me putting myself out there. But if you do put yourself out there, if you are amongst those daring to be vulnerable, I am very interested in taking in what you have to share.

Today, on the International Women’s Day of 2015, that’s the message I want to help spread – if you dare to be vulnerable, then please also dare to reject the criticism and hatred of those who dare not, those who share not. Hatred doesn’t come from those who dare, it doesn’t come from those who share. No, from those on the arena, you will receive love, respect, compassion and empathy.

BoldomaticPost_I-will-dare-to-be-vulnerableSo this is my pledge:
I will dare to be vulnerable.
I will put myself out on the arena.
I will share and be love.

And here’s my challenge to you:
Dare to be vulnerable.
Put yourself out on the arena of your choice.
Share and be love. 

I’m hoping more people will dare to be vulnerable, because I think that’s the way forward to that loving society that I envision. So. Is this a challenge you’re willing to take on?

 

 

Podcast 7/52 – Releasing criticism

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During the Christmas holidays I took long solitary walks along the beaches off the coast of Vejbystrand, where my mother lives. Beautiful landscape, highly varying weather, and great podcasts to keep me company, vejbystrandwhen I didn’t feel like walking in silence.

One of the podcasts I listened to was this one, the Good Life Project-interview with Tara Sophia Mohr, who said something to the likes of this:

Feedback tells me nothing of me, and everything about the person giving it. 

And I stopped in my stride. Went back on the podcast, and listened again, and yup, that’s what she said, Tara. That the feedback she get’s tells her everything about the feedback-giver, and nothing about herself.

Wow. I giggled a little to myself, and could imagine the amount of energy I’ve wasted on fully diving headlong into someone else criticism and feedback about me – taking it for truth. Scary almost, now that I think of it.

Now, she made it clear, that just because she doesn’t believe feedback tells her something about her, that she’s not interested in hearing it. On the contrary, she’s extremely interested in it – just because it tells her so much about those she’s interacting with.

Come to think of it, it’s been a while since I listened to this episode of Good Life Project, and I think I might take my own recommendation and re-listen to it the upcoming week.

What do you make of her statement? Agree? Disagree?

 

Certainty and doubt

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Listens to Jonathan Fields on Good Life Project, interviewing Milton Glaser. Interesting and thought provoking, as these podcasts usually are. However, one thing stood out enormously in this episode:

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I’ve spent so much of my life in certainty. Ridiculously so, and only to a certain degree can I attribute this stance to youth and ignorance. I kept up that attitude for too long, to the detriment of my own well being.

I am experimenting more and more with the latter though – the doubting, the questioning, the exploration of new thought, new ideas, new ways of being and doing. And boy, does it ever make for a much more fun and exciting life! There is so much to discover in life, and that’s the road I want to travel.

But still, there are things I am certain of, I guess. But they become fewer and fewer. And I no longer believe my beliefs are permanent. It feels more like I am where I am today, believing whatever I have come to realize by this point of life, but who knows what tomorrow might bring? I sure don’t.

What are you certain about?