In, and of, heaven

Today, in a coaching session with my coach, I found myself in heaven. Cuddled up in my armchair, with Carla on SKYPE, talking, listening, reflecting, and most of all, being.

Sharing the sensations of the past months, the conversations, meditations, insights. Experiences. And wham – I’m there. In heaven. In the softest of places, simply being. My voice, in communion, getting more gentle, soft-spoken. Pulse, breath, all slow down, calmness reigns. Indicating the state I’m in.

To meditate on a pinprick of light, in the middle of my chest. A pinprick of pure light, love, compassion, happiness. A pinprick which slowly grows, filling up every cell of my body, going further, beyond the physical boundaries of my body. Slowly expanding, with every intake of breath, pausing on every exhalation. Inhalation, expansion. Exhalation, stillness.

pinprick

Expansion – Stabilization. Expansion – Stabilization. Expansion – Stabilization.

The pinprick grows, meter by meter, kilometer by kilometer, country by country. I envision my beloved friends and family, spread across the globe, bathing in the light, love, compassion, happiness stemming from deep within my chest. Love guides me to them.

Soon, it’s as if I am at the crest of this wave, the wave of expanding light, love, compassion, happiness. I am in it, as well as of it. Experiencing and witnessing, all at once. Not in one spot along the rim of the ever-expanding pinprick, but all over it. In every single point, in all dimensions.

I see the Earth, this blue and green planet, then the moon comes into focus, followed by our solar system. The pinprick engulfing the Milky Way, while I continue to ride its crest, expanding into another galaxy, and another, and another…

The sensation of falling backwards, into infinity, with all that is, right in front of me. Being in it, as well as of it. I am it. Infinity. Heaven. On Earth. All of universe is right there, within me. I can feel the sensation, pulsing, pulsing, slow, but steady. A pulse felt in all that is me, today, now. My skin, hair, eyes, all of my inner organs, my heart, brain, all my senses.

It’s as if I’ve gained an extra sense. There’s sight, sharper than before. But known to me. There’s smell, hearing, taste. Touch. Nerve endings tuned in to notice minute details. All known to me, since eons. But richer, sharper, more attuned to actually performing to their fullest capacity.

And then. Something else. Universality. A sense which enriches all the other senses, a heightener. Boosting, maximizing. And then some.

I am in, and of, the universe.
I am not merely human, I am it all.
All that breathes, all that lives, but more, still more.

I am stardust.
Stellar wind blows through me.
I am in, and of, heaven and earth, and all that has ever existed.
And I am not alone. This is what we all are, where we all are.

Known to some, unknown to many. Including me. Up until very recently. But not anymore. Once experienced, it cannot be un-experienced. Like reading. Internalized, forever a part of me.

I just never knew. Wasn’t ready for it before. But it was always there. Within.

I know this. There is no need to search for heaven. It’s already within you. Open up to it. That’s the only thing to do, nothing else, because when the student is ready, the teacher appears.

Being human

So, understanding that I create the reality of my world, I cannot put the responsibility for my created reality on anyone but myself. However, and this is something I’ve struggled with, does that mean I can or should put up with anything around me? Like a stampeding herd of elephants in my workplace for instance?

Well. No.

The only thing it tells me is I can’t blame anyone else for what I feel. But if I have a preference for one thing (feelings are created via my thoughts, so it’s a part of the reality I create for myself), why shouldn’t I go for it, just because I know where the preference comes from?

I talked to someone wise about this, who didn’t really get why this makes such a mess of my understanding. He just said ”We’re human. Why make it harder than that?”.

imageAnd boy is that a great question, why make it harder than it has to be, eh? It made me let out a bit of tension on it, and perhaps I also stopped clinging on to the thought, but it’s still there in the back of my mind sometimes.

And this makes me think of The little book of contentment that Leo Baubata wrote. He’s very clear that noone else makes him happy. The feeling of being happy comes from within himself. But that doesn’t stop him from being with someone that he likes. Not because he or she is responsible for Leos feelings, but because Leo himself generate feelings of being happy when he’s with said person. And that makes him have a preference for some people.

Steve Chandler also talk about this, and he says something in the order of happiness being a feeling I bring TO a relationship, rather than a feeling I get FROM a relationship. (Happiness being but one example. Insert feeling of choice.) Ponder that one, why don’t you. I sure do.

Hm. Sometimes I think I make it harder to be human than I need to. But perhaps that’s part of being human?

Me and Buddha

Tired after a round trip to Stockholm I almost forgot to blog. Luckily Buddha reminded me!

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He sent me these words to bring with me to bed / as I am tired, I am listening to my body and mind and are heading for bed! Clever huh?

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. – Buddha

Have you lit any candles today?