Where are you headed?

Well, you see. I’m not. Not anymore. At least not the way I used to think about the direction I was headed in. You see, I used to have the feeling that where I was, wasn’t All That. But Over There, at the end of the rainbow, that’s where All That resided… and if only I could get there, then I would live happily ever after. Until, that is, I discovered it really wasn’t All That after all, spotted a new Over There, another rainbow to chase after, which I immediately set off in search of.

This was closely linked to my view of myself as a D-I-Y-project, a renovation object, in need of fixing. If only, I would know this, or be skilled at that, or looked a bit more like Z, then I would be a person worthy of respect, love, appreciation…
expand

So when asked, the other week, Where are you headed?, I actually said as much: I’m not. Not in the sense of being here, and wanting to go over there. I look at life, and myself, as being here, and expanding. In all directions. Not moving away from where I am, to another point in the universe. No. I expand. In all dimensions. Grow.

Centered in myself. Letting my roots grow, wide and deep. Not uprooting myself over and over again, moving towards the new site of All That. Getting there. Letting my roots grow… until I uprooted myself again. And again. And again.

Centered. Rooted. I don’t miss that feeling of dissatisfaction one iota, the dissatisfaction of not being good enough, always striving away, towards something else, towards completion, being fixed. If only…

Centered. Rooted. With a feeling of satisfaction, out of which I expand way beyond any Over There that I might have been striving towards or even imagined before. With my new way of being in the world, there’s an accompanying curiosity that makes for a journey of explorative discovery. Within the framework of that journey, I am travelling far and wide; farther and wider that I ever would have been able to before. Exploring the universe, within and without the boundaries of my physical being.

So. Let your imagination run wild. What if…
– you would stop chasing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow Over There?
– you would see that staying rooted and expanding from a center point, would open up something new in your life, something way beyond anything you’ve ever experienced before?

What then?

Beauty surrounds us

I don’t think I’ve ever experience the beauty of fall as I am this year. And I don’t think fall has gotten more beautiful – I think the change is in me. I’ve never been so aware, never taken the time, to look, to see the colors, the contrast, the smell, the vibrancy. The energy!fall love 1
I’ve become better calibrated. It’s like I’ve been fine tuned. My senses are functioning, on a whole new level. Whole heartedly.
I notice. I take it in. All of it.
For the first time, it feels as if I fully n o t i c e all the beauty that surrounds me.fall love 4

It’s been there before. Of that I am certain.
But it was never a part of my reality, in the way it is this year.
Because this year, my eyes have opened.
They take it all in, all that is, and always has been.
The texture, colors, smells, movement.
Wind. Sunshine. Dark clouds.
The heaven and earth.
fall love 5The withered hops in the allotment.
fall love 2

The horse chestnut leaves, glowing orange.fall love 7

The black walnut tree. The bark, the lichen, the leaves. And the fruits!fall love 6

The last holly hock, smiling at me, as I pass it. I have to stop. I ask if I may take its portrait. Of course, it tells me, smiling.
I smile back.fall love 3

It feels as if a view has lifted off my eyes. And my heart.
As I take it all in, I can feel myself expand, my awareness, love and gratitude for the beauty of the world fill me up, every cell of me.

Life.
I love it.
See it.
And live it.

Do you notice the beauty that surround you?

Speaking vs Listening

I have a right to speak up, to voice my opinions. And that is a right I hold dearly.

But sometimes, I wonder if we’ve collectively forgotten about the other side of this coin? If and when I speak up, I would like to be listened to. If everyone is so busy speaking, who’s doing the listening? Hence, perhaps it’s time to start to talk about the right, or maybe even the duty, to remain silent and listen as well?

Now, I don’t have to listen to everything, of course not. I’m not saying you need to either. You get to choose. It’s totally up to you! But at least once in a while, stop talking and practice the art of listening instead, and see what happens. You might learn something new, you might be strengthened in your current beliefs, your world might totally flip-flop due to what you hear. But if you don’t listen – you are missing out on many opportunities to grow, to expand your awareness, to get a new sliver of knowledge, and thereby getting another piece of the puzzle in place. The puzzle that is life, wisdom, the meaning of life. The kind of puzzle that has no edge-pieces. An eternal puzzle, where you can add piece after piece, for your entire life.

So don’t limit yourself by talking talking talking so much that you forget the art of listening. Because if you do, you place a limit on yourself. And I know, because I’ve been a lousy listener for parts of my life. So lousy in fact, that I didn’t want to hear any opposing views, because I thought that meant I was no good. If I wasn’t ”in the right” I had to be ”in the wrong” you see.

I totally missed the deeper truth, that by listening, and looking within, at my beliefs, norms and habits, questioning them once in a while, I enter the road to a better life. That’s how to grow as a person. Realizing a few years ago that other peoples opinions don’t have any bearing on whether or not I am good or bad, sure made it easier for me to start to take in what they said, made it easier to start to listen, to dare to look at what happened within me when listening.

I hope I never forget this. I hope I always continue to practice the art of listening, so that my eternal puzzle can grow and expand, in all sorts of forms and shapes and patterns, totally wild, and nothing at all lika a traditional 1000-piece puzzle of a house in the Alps. *Fairly certain the image in my minds eye of that house in the Alps is fairly similar to the image in your minds eye.*puzzle

If you go for the house in the Alps, go for it with all your might. No two puzzles are ever the same, and we should never strive for that either. I want (my!) life, my puzzle, to be something else. Unpredictable. Going for the unknown. Willing and wanting to expand and grow. While being totally at peace with the here and now. Loving myself in the here and now, but childishly curious as to what might come, what might be, what might happen in the here and now of tomorrow?