16/24 – Is there trust?


Mmm. You’ve been there. So have I. Too many times.

When that which shouldn’t happen, happens.
A mistake.
A white lie that erupts and turns into the lie from hell.
An unexpected turn of events, when worst comes to worst.

And, oh yes. Is that ever a sure way to know, if trust exists or not.

Close my eyes.
Remember. Back when I was 9 months pregnant with my first child. Another millennia.
Had gotten a phone call from my husband, the father of my unborn child, whom I’d been together with for ten years.

I’m breaking up with you.

Hard to believe. Difficult to take in.
That didn’t happen to someone like me. Couldn’t. Shouldn’t.

When he came home later that day, or possibly the day after, I asked…

Would you stay with me tonight?

I just wanted to be held. To forget. For a moment. That life had just turned upside down, and I was going to become a parent in a totally different manner than I’d planned for.

No. I can’t.

That’s when I knew. Whatever trust had been, was no more. Not there. I never let that stop me from trusting again, though.

I am, at heart, a person who trusts.
Would life be life without it?

Reflection #16 of 24 from the notes I took and the experience I had at the Seth Godin Q&A-session in London, November 2015. These reflections will constitute my Advent Calendar for 2015, and will be posted daily from December 1st to the 24th.

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