Now, this isn’t a topic I have written about before, and it’s not something I have given a whole lot of thought to. But all the same, here’s a TED Talk my friend Charlotte Rudenstam (who is passionate and very skilled on this!) shared a while ago, and it really made me think:
So, why did this talk make me think?
Well, because there are so any ruuuuuuules (concerning all aspects of life, not just sexuality) that we believe are True, Necessary, Mandatory to obey and Unquestionable. (Can you tell I am a wee bit frustrated with this??)
Edward Wilson says that we need to understand that human sexuality is first a bonding device and only secondarily procreation. I think that’s true. This matters because our evolved sexuality is in direct conflict with many aspects of the modern world. The contradiction between what we should feel and what we actually do feel generates a huge amount of unnecessary suffering.
By rules I mean both the written rules we are surrounded by, but also the unwritten stuff that seems to be culturally developed in different societies. I understand it makes sense to set rules in a society, that’s not what I’m getting at. But it’s like we set rules, written or unwritten, and then sort of forget the reason for them. And believe that a rule that makes sense for me automatically must make sense – and be adhered to – by everybody. But really – why would it?